The Secret to Effectively Raising Your Voice

It
is important to remember that you are the father. You are the Dad.
Sometimes, wedged between a special treat here and a flexible bedtime
there, your kids forget who is boss.

So what is a disrespected dad to do? Gone are the days when it is
socially acceptable to take a kid over your knee or whip out the belt.
Now you need to rely on the power of your voice and the consistency of
the message. Sometimes, negotiation and conversation will not
communicate the message to your kids quickly enough.

But if you aren't careful, a raised voice can lead to mockery, further
insubordination or even injury. So before you just blurt out the first
thing that comes to your mind, in haste, follow these pointers to make
every word count.

EYE CONTACT ENHANCES THE MESSAGE
Think of Toy Story 2 when Mrs. Potato Head packs her husband's "Angry
Eyes". A lot of times the combination of a raised voice and angry eyes
can go a long way. Plus, it is a good indication that you have the full
attention.

ITS ABOUT CONTRAST NOT JUST VOLUME
The effectiveness of a raised voice is based on the contrast of
volumes. For instance, if you start your reprimand guns'a'blazin' and
continue it throughout the tirade, it may not be as effective as a
normal-voiced conversation with some strategically placed emphasis on
words like, "disappointed", "unbelievable", "grounded for life."

SPEAK SIMPLY
One problem I frequently encounter is I use words my kids can't
understand. So now I am trying to communicate a stern message, and they
are looking at me with a big, fat "WTF?" expression on their face.
Don't overcomplicate. If they shouldn't be touching their poop, tell
them, "Stop touching your poop!" Instead of, "Please refrain from
touching your feces."

BE CAREFUL WITH CLICHÉS
The last thing you want to do is to be in the middle of a vein-bulging
verbal drubbing only to be interrupted with a, "Daddy, what does
'Pissed Off' mean?" Avoid clichés when raising your voice. And consider
the age of the kid because the last thing you want is your kid's
ignorance to be the killjoy.

RESERVE UPPER DECIBELS
Another common mistake that dads make when verbally chastising their
kids is they elevate the volume too quickly. If you are not careful,
you might have cranked the volume to 11 and still not have your kid's
attention. Then you strain your throat, your voice cracks, and your
kids impersonate your puberty voice crack for years to come. Save the
full tilt for when you really need it: Like when your son joyrides your
Porsche or your daughter gets knocked up.

ASSUME THE "YOU MEAN BUSINESS" POSITION
When raising your voice it is effective to use the "I mean business"
position. You can achieve this position by hunching your back slightly,
cocking your head to the side and pointing at your kid with your
finger. This position communicates that you are trying to get to their
level and that you are slightly embarrassed at their actions. Sort of
like a "hey buddy, wanna buy a watch?" position. Except you are saying,
"Kevin, get over here right this minute!"

Good luck noodads.