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It
is important to remember that you are the father. You are the Dad.
Sometimes, wedged between a special treat here and a flexible bedtime
there, your kids forget who is boss.
So what is a disrespected dad to do? Gone are the days when it is
socially acceptable to take a kid over your knee or whip out the belt.
Now you need to rely on the power of your voice and the consistency of
the message. Sometimes, negotiation and conversation will not
communicate the message to your kids quickly enough.
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It's
amazing what you can find on You Tube these days. It's as if people
think that if they caught it on their video camera, then it is ok to
broadcast it to the world.
Well if you are a predad, here are some things you can look forward to.
Having kids practically guarantee that when a camera is rolling,
something funny will happen.
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Guys, there will come a time when your little dude or
dudette gets sick. Most likely, you will need to call the pediatrician
and they will no doubt ask you the question that may lead to a very
uncomfortable procedure. Your pediatrician will probably ask what your
kid's temperature is. But don't think you can stick that thermometer
under your kid's tongue, you need to start concentrating on sticking
that thing somewhere else. Because when the doctor asks for a
temperature, they mean a temperature from your kids poop hole.
Yes.
Rectal temperature readings are the most accurate way to take your
kid's temperature. Here's what you need to know about taking your kid's
temp rectally:
Murphy's Law: Any of certain humorous axioms stating that anything that can possibly go wrong, will go wrong.
There are many things that parents go through every day. Some of these
things are glorious: like a hug from your son or a smile from your
daughter. But some of these things are not so cheery. Sometimes, things
happen to you that you swear is the result of some higher power paying
you back for doing something really bad in a past life.
I call it "Baby Murphy's Law" and it can take any form. Baby Murphy's
Law events can be small and festering (like a wart) or they can be a
big deal—something that could very well put you over the edge of
sanity.
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Football season is coming and I haven’t been this excited since…well…last football season. If you are like me, the NFL is your Jim Jones and the start of the season every fall is like the smell of new Kool Aid being mixed.
But when you work every weekday and you normally savor the weekend hours for time with the kids, you are faced with a tough dilemma: balancing kid time with football time. What do you do? You corrupt your
kids of course. After all, if they crave the game as much as you do, you are golden. Here are a few different approaches to obsessing your kids with this great game at an early age.
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It is not uncommon that after you experience a pregnancy on the front lines (i.e. your significant other going through it) that you will have a newfound appreciation for the physical beauty that a pregnant woman possesses.
You may have fashioned yourself as a “leg guy” or a “boob guy” up to now, but now you find yourself unable to take your eyes off the”pregnant” part of your wife’s body. The enlarged breasts probably don’t hurt either.
It is only natural to feel that way. After all, your pregnant wife is going through maximum hormonal overdrive. She waddles with a glow that you probably haven’t seen since you proposed to her. Of course that is hot. And she is carrying your baby for god’s sake. You know that rules!
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Just
when you and your wife thought that you were safe hooking your kid on
the juice, out comes a study saying that breastfeeding can lead to more
allergy prone kids.
According to a study, "Babies fed exclusively on mother's milk for up to six months are known
to be at reduced risk of allergies such as eczema and asthma. But a
study shows extending exclusive breast-feeding beyond six months may
increase the risks."
As your kids get older, you will find that you accumulate habits that you only perform in the company of your family. These include but are not limited to songs you made up, nicknames, embarrassing stories, funny jokes and interpretive dances. Believe it or not, these are important family bonding exercises, especially the ones that everyone in the family knows.
I have several nicknames for my wife. I have called her some of these since we were dating. Very few people know them however my daughter caught on to a couple of them when she was 2. It was hilarious to hear her refer to her mother as no-i-am-not-telling-you-the-name-she-will-kill-me. The best part was that she knows that it is not something that anyone else calls her mother. She giggles every time she says it, and she even knows that it is funnier if she does not do it all the time.
I
had a buddy in high school who hated to puke. When I first met him, he
told me he had only puked twice in his life and he never wanted to
experience it again. I told him, anyone who is normal, does not ever
want to puke but that's life. Well, after a late night dare of whether
he could drink a gallon of milk in an hour went terribly wrong, he
changed his tune. In fact, after puking his brains out for over an
hour, he realized he had a knack for this regurgitation thing. And
thus, "Puke Boy" was formed. Puke Boy was now able (and willing) to
puke on demand. Anytime, anywhere. And he did. Anytime and anywhere he
was provoked.
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