Archives for September, 2006
Posted on 09 27, 2006 under The Manual by
Noodad |
When
your kid is big and old enough to sleep in a real bed it can be a very
exciting time as a parent. The move out of a crib can smack you right
in the face with the realization you don't have a baby anymore. But
these new walking and talking kids can create a new series of issues.
Once these kids figure out they can get out of their bed by themselves,
they morph into little Kid Ninjas: looking to sneak around, spy on you,
and worst of all…get no sleep.
Good news? There are some things you can do to keep your kids tucked in
bed for the night. Bad news? Most involve tough love and questionable
negotiation techniques—it isn't pretty and it isn't easy. But if you
can keep a consistency of nighttime compliance, you and your wife will
be happy.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 09 26, 2006 under The Manual by
foodad |
Internationally adopted children, often as early as 2 and a
half years old, realize that there is something different about them. Particularly if you or your wife have been
reading them stories like Over the Moon
or I Love You Like Crazy Cakes, they
may start talking about and querying about their birth mother and father.
Many children try to piece together their history with
statements based on stories you have told them like: “Before I was born you and
mommy lived in Kentucky.” and “When I was a baby, I used to like to throw my
peas on the floor.” At around 3-3.5 they can even draw parallels with their
friends and siblings. “When I was a baby
I liked blueberries. When Graham (little brother) was a baby, he liked
blueberries too.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 09 25, 2006 under The Manual by
Noodad |
The
following is a Public Service Announcement to all you noodads who have
sons. Your baby or toddler could be pitching tents in their little
diapers. It's true. But you have nothing to worry about.
If you are like me, you thought that you didn't experience stiffness
until that time when you were 11 and you saw the commercial for the
designer impostor fragrances commercial on TV. You know the one — where
all you see is beautiful female legs being sprayed down by
ozone-killing aerosol cans. Now you know that you may have been
sporting wood since you were a wee little lad.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 09 22, 2006 under Doodads by
foodad |
The oversize nails from the Hasbro Team Talking Toolbench can become
lodged in a toddler's throat, cutting off their oxygen. Two two
year olds have died from this.
Please always remember to follow the age guidelines for toys.
Also, watch younger kids when they go into their older siblings' or
friends' rooms. Remember, the safety of your children is
your responsibility. Babies and toddlers love to put things in
their mouth. Take it out of their mouth and tell them "no".
Be stern and repeat.
For the full article see: Hasbro Talking Toolbench Recall
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 09 21, 2006 under The Manual by
Noodad |
There
will come a time when your child, feeling like an animal cornered in a
cage, will hit you. This can be a scary action on their part and a
potentially humiliating one for you. It normally occurs because your
kid doesn't know how to express themselves in anger and their animal
instincts react in the form of an open hand. When it happens, you'll
know it is purely instinctual because any physical assault on purpose
would be a closed fist. It can also escalate into a full blown fit of
rage—one in which you need to settle them down and explain
ramifications for their actions.
So what do you do when this happens to you? If you said, "Hit them
back." you should leave this site and never come back. We don't want
your scum around Noodad.com. If you said, "I don't know what I should
do." then get comfortable, and read the following:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 09 21, 2006 under Predad by
foodad |
International Adoption often includes traveling to far off
countries with upside down time tables.
You know what I mean. China
for instance is 12 or 13 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time. The good people of your adoption agency
understand this. Acclimation is one of the (best) reasons that they schedule a
few days in Beijing
before you go to your baby’s capital city. If you decide to travel to Korea, Russia,
Kazakhstan,
the same could easily apply.
While you are spending 2 weeks in China getting to know your new
baby, the excitement builds at home.
When we went, we literally had a few thousand hits to our blog while we were gone. We also had a gallery on the site and
uploaded about 100 pictures while we were overseas. Then the scary thing started to happen. We
started to get emails from family and friends telling us that they were looking
forward to seeing us after we got home. They were even proposing dates to do
so. The excitement of the moment clearly
clouded their thinking as many of these messages mentioned the week that we got
home as “good” meeting times. At the
time, even my wife and I did not appreciate the magnitude of the problem. We added additional stress to our situation
that we could have prevented with George-Bush-style preemptive measures.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 09 18, 2006 under The Manual by
Noodad |
If you are like me, you need a big ol’ cup of joe before you can do anything intelligent in the morning. I normally feel like a half-dead dad zombie until the moment the tar hits my lips. And that’s after a night when my kids sleep through! During those hellish insomnia-laden
months of infancy, I wanted to install a coffee machine right next to the changing table. Or maybe just a bag of crack. (Just kidding. “Just
say no”, kids.)
During the work week, I lumber through the morning and choose to “perk
up” on the way to work. But during the weekends, this morning ritual
includes the kids. So when my kids choose to wake up the slumbering
beast (me) early on a saturday morning, there’s nothing to do except
load them in the double stroller and walk to the local Dunkin’ Donuts.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 09 18, 2006 under Press by
wahoodad |
Well,
we did it. The valiant members of Team Noodad.com yesterday completed
and defeated the fabled Boston Marathon course in a team record 9 hours
on Sunday, September 17. The 26.2 mile course put up a good fight,
throwing all it had at Team Noodad.com in an effort to make us submit.
We battled angry, intolerant Boston drivers at many intersections,
tackled some steep thigh-burning inclines, and persevered through the
fetid odors of poodad stew baking in the rank plastic ovens known as
Port-A-Johns.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 09 18, 2006 under Brokedad by
wahoodad |
The
hospital bag is packed by the door. Inside your wife’s fantastically
round belly, your baby is in position for entry into the world. The
nursery smells of freshly applied latex paint and all the Onesies are
washed, dried, and stacked on the shelves beneath the changing table.
You’re all set, right? Wrong. You need to get your financial house in
order.
The responsibilities of having a child don’t end at feeding, diaper
changes, and providing a nurturing environment for your new addition.
Because infants are so cute and cuddly and having a child is such a
happy event, no one wants to address the cold, hard fact that you need
to prepare for the possibility of something very bad happening—namely,
the untimely demise of you and your spouse. Here are some things you
need in order to provide for your child from Beyond the Grave.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 09 14, 2006 under Current Events by
Noodad |
In an effort to learn about the trends of 21st century families, restaurant chains like McDonald’s and KFC have developed “Advisory Boards” for parents to meet with representatives of the company on a regular basis. These groups will shed light to the big bad fast food chains on what parents really want. Sounds great right?
Not so great from where I’m standing. Apparently, to these chains, men do not matter because these groups consist of mothers and mothers only. I
understand that this is a great move to get to know the levers and barriers to selling their food to the next generation of fast food eaters. But to disregard the father’s role in these types of lifestyle decisions is absurd.
Read the rest of this entry »
