The Anti-Crying Onesie Maneuver Video

Wahoodad, This one's for you.

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To read about this technique in greater detail, click here . 

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Why My Onesie Maneuver is Cry Proof

Ah onesies…the undergarment of choice for the under 3 crowd.  With it's soft cotton and 3 button snaps. It is brilliantly designed. When used for the power of good, it can offer an extra layer of warmth, and a support hammock for a diaper full of pee. But for those who aren't trained in the ways of proper onesie application, it can be a one way ticket to Pissed-Off-ville or even worse, a near death suffocation.

There is a proper way to put on a onesie. And this way is cry-proof. Here's what you need to do:
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“The Alien Inside My Wife” and Other Ultrasound Discoveries

If your wife is pregnant and it still hasn't hit you, the ultrasound marks the instance in which the world falls out from under your feet. What once was just the idea of a living breathing kid in an instant becomes a living breathing thing that you see with your own eyes.

In a typical pregnancy, the first ultrasound is scheduled around the 18th week of pregnancy. At this point of the pregnancy, even though the little tax deduction is only about 8 inches long, it has enough features to look like something you can relate to.
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Doll Street and Ball Street - When Your Stock is Down

BOSTON
(Noodad) — Shares of foodad (symbol: FOO) stocks ended lower Monday as Gong Fu Dad
Conglomerate International allowed a later than average bedtime, but disallowed
a pre-snooze snack.

Gong Fudad, the household’s largest supplier of father
related goods and services, reported net bedtimes of 7:45, netting 15 minutes
below expected bedtime, or 2 minutes per share, compared with a loss of 10
minutes the night before.  Gong Fu Dad
also reported later than expected work nights and a reduced overall quality
time with the kids  resulting in a lower
overall consumer confidence rating and causing investors and kids to look
elsewhere for parenting services.  Super
Mom Inc (SMOM) stocks were up +5.00 on the news.

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The Answers to “What the Hell Are Tubes?”

My son had tubes put in last week. He had multiple infections in his 19 month old ears and the doctor had suspected that the excess fluid in his ears were causing hearing complications.

You probably have heard the term, "tubes" thrown around parent circles. In fact, recent stats say that almost 2 million American kids get tubes every year. But if you are like me, you probably have no real clue what it is really about. In this article, I will do my best to talk you through the technical stuff, the surgery stuff, and the post-op stuff.
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When Your Kids Are Bi-Racial

Racial equality is a hot topic in my household. Maybe it's because my neighbor's dog is racist. He never barks at anyone else except me. I, of course, am the only person that is not white in my entire neighborhood. If I were to decipher his angry bark I would no doubt hear, "Go back to where you come from, you foreigner."

Seriously though, I am Chinese and my wife is not. My kids are half-chinese, half white. This creates a whole new set of topics to talk about and examples to set. Frequently, my 4 year old daughter will comment on how "Daddy is the only one in the family that has black hair." When asked what color mommy's hair is and what color the kid's hair is, it seems like a lesson in color theory:
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Billy Who? What You Need to Know About Jaundice

You may have seen the babies when you toured the hospital. There they are. With Kool Moe Dee sunglasses on, encased in a clear case like the ear worm in Wrath of Khan. No, they aren't getting fake baked for Spring Break, they are being treated for Jaundice.

Jaundice (pronounced like your buddy Jon, got dissed) is the name given to when your kid's skin and the white's of their eyes are very yellow. It frequently occurs with newborns within the first week but most of the time, it corrects itself.
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Preparing Your Toddler (and Yourself) for Halloween

Newborns don't really care about Halloween. They are mostly dressed up so you can get some pictures and show off how cute they are to your neighbors. But once your kid reaches 3 and 4 years old, Halloween will be as exciting to them as the Super Bowl is to you. Here are some tips to help you prepare your toddler (and yourself) for the spookiest day of the year.
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Good Cop, Bad Cop: Who Should Be Who?

You see it all the time on tv shows like Law & Order or movies like Turner and Hooch. When order needs to be restored or when answers need to be extracted, one of the most effective ways of achieving cooperation is to beat the subject into submission. And the first step in breaking down stubborn barriers is to play with the suspects' minds a bit. This can be pulled off by playing the ol' Good Cop/Bad Cop maneuver.

Good Cop/Bad Cop is the name for when one person yells, threatens, and berates a subject, and then their teammate plays nice and tries to appear compassionate. Eventually, the suspect will give in to one of the approaches (each appearing extreme in contrast with one another) and the task is completed.
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Surviving Hosting a Kid Birthday: Part 2

This article is born out of comments from wahoodad 

We've hosted two of my son's parties at our house (not counting his 1st B-day).  We found that the first thing you have to do is have a plan and execute it. 

Step 1 is to have a defined party time limit and mark it clearly on the invitation.  Sometimes guests have trouble with an open-ended invite. You know, the cutesy "12:00 to ????".  If you tell them when to arrive and when to GTFO they won't be wondering if they need to stay longer so as to not appear rude, or when to figure out they've overstayed their welcome.

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