Predads: consider this a warning. Yet another helpful hint from your friend, Noodad. You heard it here first. You need to care about weekly fetal development. Ok. Now tell your pregnant wife to step away from the computer. All clear?
Listen carefully guys: You don't really have to care about fetal development. You only need to pretend to care about weekly fetal development.
Today was the 4th birthday party for my daughter. We had it at a farm. We went on a hayride. We picked pumpkins. A ton of people came. But the highlight of the day was shooting this video.
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The fact is that even cute and cuddly babies get dirty. Whether you bathe them in the tub or in the sink, you need to be very careful when drying them off. In todays first installment of the Noodad “How Not To” series, we take a look at the proper way to get that little monster dried off.
I will start by explaining it here and then if you like, you can me demonstrate on the next page how to and how not to dry a baby. In coming weeks, we will return to Noodad Labs and enlist the help of stunt babies like Baby Alex to show you a good way to accomplish daily kid care tasks. Remember, the “How Not To”s are strictly that. Do not try these at home. Our stunt babies are here to demonstrate the perils of fumbling through fatherhood with no guide so that you do not have to!
There
is a technique that you need to know. It is guaranteed to stop your
crying baby instantaneously. It is extremely easy to execute and it's
power is half Jedi Mind Trick, half Vulcan Death Grip.
Yet no one ever seems to talk about it. In fact, my wife and I would
never have known it if our kid's pediatrician didn't tell us. So why
the secrecy? Probably because no one has the balls to reveal the
secret. I am proud to announce that my balls are fully loaded. Here's
how to perform the only anti-crying maneuver you will ever need.
Read the rest of this entry »
Disney World is the ultimate vacation for your family. I saw
people of every age in the park the last time I was there. Every person
seemed to be really enjoying themselves. Sure you see kids having fits,
but that's expected when there is so much excitement. I would venture
that about 80% of the under 10 crowded did not get a good night's sleep
the night before, so right around 10 AM you can see a lot of mini
meltdowns. Just another source of entertainment.
Here are some things to watch out for when you are at the park.
So
your wife is in the third trimester and both of you are counting down
the days. She may have already started dilating and may already be on
maternity leave. You, on the other hand, need to continue to go to
work, anxiously awaiting the phone call, with the words, "It's time."
on the other end.
That can be really stressful—juggling
concentration at work with concentration on your needy wife and
soon-to-be kid. Guess what? Get used to it. Because once that baby
comes, you will be stressed out about that all the time. But I digress:
that's a different article.
