So you have a boy and he's at that age when…you know…he's exploring. He is bound to have some porn laying around somewhere. And you know all the secret hiding places. So…
That brings us to this week's question…
You and the family have just sat down to a home cooked meal. You both are battle scarred from long days at the office and or child care. Your 3 year old is presently giving you a recap on important days events like nursery school, gymboree, gymnastics and swimming lessons when she says: "Little F@ckers".
What should a noodad do?
There is a nice frame of time in the diaper-wearing life of your kid that will frustrate the hell out of you. It typically occurs after your kid starts running around on their own, and before they know how to communicate fluently with you with words.
This is a time where, during the diaper change you will be forced to pin your kid down onto the mat. For many different reasons, your kid will stubbornly fight you during a diaper change. They may kick you, squirm and wiggle, and scream their bratty little heads off like a caged animal.
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Kids will be kids and one of the things that kids do is run around and wreck themselves. This is partially due to the fact that they are new at this thing called walking and running. It can also be that their legs move faster than their brains. Whatever the reason—scrapes, bumps, and cuts are inevitable.
For you fresh noodads out there, you may get really freaked out when your kids bite it. That is perfectly natural. But what I am going to teach you today will seem completely unnatural. In fact, if you didn't already know me to be a decent dad, you would say that this is downright cruel.
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This week, here in the states, we are celebrating Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a time to gorge yourself with food high in carbohydrates, mingle with family members you haven't seen since last Thanksgiving, and of course, watch football.
But the part of Thanksgiving that I enjoy the most, (besides the green bean casserole with the fried onions on top), is the time to recognize what I am thankful for.
Today's article will be a little bit of what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. I encourage you all to post a comment of what you are thankful for as well.
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Sesame Street is one of the icons of television and certainly the most important show in children’s television history. The Wiggles is a nice, fun and healthy show for kids to watch. It is fairly important to its genre. If it were a superhero, I would call it Iron Man.
It’s helpful, sturdy and always there when you need it, but it does not have the same omnipotence that Sesame Street, aka Galactus, possesses.
While the Wiggles have been able to transcend television with toys, concerts and clothing it is lacking the overall longevity of Sesame Street to be able to say that it is "better". Sesame Street and Mister Rogers re-invented the genre that pioneers like Howdy Doody and the Mickey Mouse Club kicked off. Sesame Street is the standard by which all other kids shows are measured.
As a predad, you will constantly worry about your pregnant wife. You'll stress over every little thing she does and you will sometimes piss her off with your obsessive safety precautions. "Don't lift that basket of laundry!" I have been accused of such obsessiveness from my wife in the past. But despite your best intentions, sometimes unexpected accidents happen and it is at the very instant that you realize, despite your best intentions, you can't really control anything.
My wife was in a fender bender last week, and its scared the crap out of me. When I first got the phone call, tons of feelings rushed through my mind. In order: Is my wife ok? Is my son (who was sitting in the carseat) ok? Is the car ok? I knew my daughter was at school at the time of the accident so I wasn't worried about her.
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Parents take youth sports seriously. Sometimes more seriously than their kids do. Combine the rabid nature of getting your kid to excel in sports with the changing landscape in equal rights and you have a potential powder keg brewing on the little league field.
On one hand you have parents who want their kid to play and enjoy whatever sport they want to. Sometimes that means daughters playing on boys little league teams. But there is a double standard when you don't allow boys to play on girls softball teams.
Which brings us to this week's question…
The Wiggles, the singing Aussie foursome with the colorful shirts, is the best half an hour of kid's television on the air right now. You may say that it is boring, cheesy, girlie, or otherwise a waste of time but whatever you may think you know about the Wiggles, I am telling you that you may be wrong.
I used to loathe Wiggles like I loathed a teeth cleaning at the dentist. Whenever it would come on the TV, I would cringe at the sights and sounds. But what I didn't realize is that the problem wasn't the show, the issue was my kid's weren't ready for it yet. Because what makes the Wiggles so enjoyable is not what is actually being backlit from your boob tube, it is the reaction of your kids when the show comes on.
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During labor there may be some filthy things coming out of your wife's mouth. She may normally be the nicest person in the world, but in this time of physical and emotional trauma, you may see her transform into a sailor in the South Pacific. This may seem funny in principle, but believe me, it isn't.
The problem lies in the fact that although your wife may forget all the things that she says to you during labor, she will remember every single word you say, or mutter under your breath.
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