Noo and Foo are proud to announce we were recently nominated for 2 awards in the Blogger's Choice Awards competition . We are up for Best Parenting Blog and our 2 ugly mugs were nominated for Hottest Daddy Bloggers!
We aren't huge believers in awards because your enjoyment is what means most to us but if you want to give back, support our sponsors and then go and vote for Noodad.com!
Here's the scenario: you're chilling on the couch with your baby kid. You decide to truly soak in the moment. You close your eyes. You contemplate how amazing it is to hold your own flesh and blood and then it hits you. The most vile odor to ever move through your nasal passages. The smell is more than the most heinous fart you have encountered in your life. It's more ruthless than the rotted dead squirrel you found inside your wall.
It's called neck cheese and when it comes to big deals it carries the letter "f'n" between "Big" and "Deal". It's a big deal because you look at images of picture perfect Gerber babies and you think, these little stinkbombs are all rose petals and perfume all the time. Sure, you realize you will have to do a tour of dootie every day but nothing ever prepared you for nasal death like Neck Cheese.
Read the rest of this entry »
When you are a noodad in the purest definition of the word, you are faced with new experiences and new routines. Truly amazing experiences like staring into the eyes of your newborn and realizing that kid is going to pwn you the rest of his life. Or truly horrific experiences like getting hosed down like you are a new inmate at Shawshank. These things wouldn't be as extreme of an experience if it not for the lack of sleep that accompanies it.
It's no secret. Having a kid means you get no sleep. It's as certain as the tides or the fact that the American league is far better than the National League. Where the real issue comes into play is when you decide to complain about it. Take it from me, noodads, I don't care if you feel like you took a double hit of NyQuil, the worst thing in the world to do right now is bitch about how tired you are to your wife.
Read the rest of this entry »
Last weekend we took a quick trip to Omaha to see my folks and grandparents. My wife did all of the planning including the the car rental. She rocks. You should be so lucky to have someone plan entire trips for you. She asked the car rental company, Hertz, if they would provided a booster seat. They said, no problem. In my mind, booster seats and child seats in rental cars are as important as safety belts. I feel like they should be provided as a courtesy to a customer. I appreciate the fact that they need to pay for, maintain and clean them though and so this time we figured I would save ourselves some hassle and trying renting a booster seat.
I’ve been a dad for more than 3 years now. I’ve seen fits and I’ve seen stains. I’ve seen runny noses that I thought would never end. I’ve seen nasty things coming out of my kids rear ends. But there’s always one thing that I really dread.
It is not what you think it is. I can handle staying home alone with both of them. I do not mind extended tea-parties. I am especially good at returning the Goran Ivanisevic-in-his-prime serves from my 2 year old:
Lil Noob: What are dadose?
Foodad: Those are socks.Lil Noob: What are dadose?
Foodad: Socks.Lil Noob: What are dadose?
Foodad: Also socks.Lil Noob: What are dadose?
Foodad: Socks buddy.Lil Noob: What are dadose?
Foodad: Those are socks.PA Guy: Love-15
It's a common scenario for new parents: you are driving in your car and you look in the backseat and your kid is munching on a book. Or you go into the other room for no more than 5 minutes and when you return, your kid has devoured the Pottery Barn catalog.
Today, I am here to tell you not to worry about it. It ain't the best thing for their virgin stomach lining but it ain't gonna kill them either. Kids at these ages are like goats: they will put whatever they can in their mouths. And who can blame them? They are either sucking on the boob eating the same thing day in and day out (the boob part ain't bad, it's the lack of variety) or when they graduate to solids, they are eating nothing but sludgy green stuff.
Read the rest of this entry »
If before you had kids your morning routine involved strolling to the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel slung over your shoulder and a smile on your face, eventually you’ll have to keep Mr. Happy under wraps once your kids get older. When you live under the same roof with people, it’s inevitable that there’s going to be some exposure. Your daughter might catch a glimpse of your unit if you don’t shut the bathroom door when you take a leak, and your son might happen upon his mom’s boobs if the bedroom door is ajar when she changes; but there’s a big difference between inadvertent fleshy peeks and parading around the house in the raw like it’s the locker room at the gym.
Of course you want to teach your kids that the human body is a natural thing and you don’t want your kids to freak out over seeing someone naked, but you’ve also got to teach modesty and privacy so they don’t get sent home from school for taking their pants off during an educational video because “that’s how Daddy likes to watch television in our house.” Just like in that Seinfeld episode, there’s a big difference between good naked and bad naked—but that line is subjective.
Every once in a while I step back from my laptop and actually read something. Sometimes this reading consists of the liner notes to AC DC's Back in Black or the box score in the Sports page. But sometimes this so-called reading actually involves a book. This time it was a book that I never thought I would actually read. The cover screamed "boring self-help chick book" but despite all the warning signs, I actually sat down and read it. And I have to be honest guys, this will be the best book you will ever read. Reading this book, Babyproofing Your Marriage by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neill, and Julia Stone will feel like the authors abducted you in the middle of the night and downloaded your brain like some alien abduction. I sat on my couch nodding my head in agreement page after page: it was that creepy how well they have us guys figured out.
The authors are 3 married women who are some cool ladies. And even better, they clearly aren't the type of authors that pass judgment on dudes. They took the time to answer 10 questions from yours truly in which we discussed ponytails, blowjobs, spanking your wife, and being a better husband:
Read the rest of this entry »
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT…
Mother’s Day is May 13th
Any unimaginative schmo can go to Coach and get his wife a clutch purse for Mother’s Day…and if you’re considering doing this, get with the times – those things were popular three years ago. Too many dads will go to Things Remembered and buy a sterling picture frame – nice but it’s watching paint dry BORING. Dude, you were in the delivery room – she deserves more.
If you were leaning toward either of these items OR have no idea whatsoever to get your beloved for arguably the most important of gift-giving days (think about it – how much emotion is wrapped up in being a mother?!), never fear brethren…the Noodad Ultimate Mother’s Day Gift Guide is here! If you know who your wife is, we can help you do better. After all, the Noodad motto is “we’re here for ya man!”
