Christina Aguilera gave her birth to her son on January 11th. Here’s the pop star pregnant and looking hot pre-pregnancy. Looks like the only thing Dirrrty will be the kid’s diaper.
On a Saturday filled with errands, my wife and I decided to stop for lunch at Subway with the kids. From a marketing perspective, Subway has done a pretty good job differentiating themselves from the generic sandwich shop market by being the healthier option. “Eat Fresh” certainly keeps Subway above the “Mmmm…Toasty” and “Funny name, great sandwiches” that Quiznos and Schlotzsky’s provides.
We bought our daughter a turkey and cheese sandwich with apple wedges and an apple juice. That’s no comparison to the 5 piece chicken McNugget Happy Meal with french fries and a Hi-C orange drink.
My son got a salami sandwich with no cheese (milk allergy) and even though the meat was greasier than his sister’s turkey, compared to a hamburger, we were feeling pretty decent about our healthier choice for them. Read the rest of this entry »
When you’re a dad, every once in a while your kids will serve up surprises. Some of these are not of the pleasant variety, like hearing one of them say, “Feed the fish more!” as he dumps the whole jar of fish food in the 10-gallon tank, forcing you to become an emergency vet in an effort to save $8 worth of neon tetras. Or maybe going up to the crib only to find your kid has smeared his own feces all over his body so he looks like an extra from Apocalypto. You’ll see far more of these types of surprises when raising your kids than the good ones. I must have been due for a good surprise, though, because I got one the other day that became an instant classics in my family’s lore. I thought I’d share it with all you noodads. Just put your mind in the gutter and check out my first-grader’s math homework… Read the rest of this entry »
Say you are enjoying a nice and spicy curry dish. Maybe you downed some habanero pepper poppers or ate a few dozen buffalo wings. That edible inferno may have tasted awesome going in but you know that eventually it will burn on the way out.
What is a guy who is about to literally burn his ass do? Use Ring of Fire wipes of course! “A great gift for those that like it hot, the Ring of Fire After Curry Wipes are cooling and moisturised and are sure to douse those flames!”
Buy it here.
To the mother of the baby who left her kid in the car. You are lucky. I have to ask you, what errand was so important that you make completing it a higher priority than the well-being of your 1 year old? Range Rovers by Land Rover are indeed awesome cars, but unless yours is uber customized, they do not have built in isolettes which would regulate the temperature of an infant, always sensing when they need a little heat. If your reasoning was “It was too cold outside for the baby”, then you are a Darwin awards candidate. Your car does not maintain heat. It was off. They also do not change diapers, nor do they gavage milk.
You are lucky that the operator of the parking garage and a Bostonnow.com employee care about kids. They looked out for your motionless baby. You could have been hit by a bus, kidnapped or even killed during your errand. They were willing to assume the worst in order to make sure that your baby was cared for in the event that something had gone awry.
What mission were you on that you would risk the well-being of an innocent incapable of self care? You must have found the hidde base of Osama bin-Laden and needed to report it to the authorities. Maybe you needed to deliver urgent medication to an RSV infested area and could not take the baby in for fear of her contracting the potentially deadly virus. On the surface it looks a lot like laziness.
Read the rest of this entry »
The big game is coming up and if you are like me, you will surely be watching. But will your kids? On one hand, it’s the biggest stage and the biggest football game of the year. On the other hand, it is a school night and it goes on way past your kids’ bedtime.
And this doesn’t even count what your kids will be seeing if they stay up. They may see Prince stroking his guitar or maybe catch a little Rhythm Nation boob action. Is that what you want them to see?
Which brings us to today’s question… Read the rest of this entry »
Meet “My First Spider-Man”, Playskool’s gateway super hero action figure for the toddler set. Press the black spider in the center of his torso, and Spider-Man’s eyes light up as he enthusiastically shouts different messages such as: “Ready to be a super hero!”, “Target practice time!”, and, of course, “I’m your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!” He’s got an oversized head, hands, and feet for easy handling by your toddler. Perhaps the coolest selling point is the web blaster feature. Two white plastic webs slide into holes in Spidey’s wrists, and there’s a button on his back that launches them when pressed. The danger in this toy isn’t from the force at which the webs launch (they pack about as much a punch as Ron Jeremy after take six), but rather from where the webs are left around the house once your kid has completed a round of crime-fighting with Spider-Man. Read the rest of this entry »
One of the best parts about being a dad of potty-training aged kids is the permission to be yourself. See, your wife probably read in some parenting magazine that the key to a successful potty training is to embrace the topic of taking a dump and to talk about it with your kids without any type of shame. To me, I take that as permission to revert to that special place in every guy’s heart called potty humor.
So, if you have to talk about it without shame but with pride, you may as well have fun with it. And that is why I am pleased to bring you the top 10 Poop-related kids products of all time. Any of these could be acceptable in your household (all in the name of potty training of course) and you will make you ROFLMMFAO. Read the rest of this entry »
Monica Bellucci is the mother of a daughter born in 2004. Here’s the Shoot’em Up star pregnant and looking hot pre-pregnancy. What do you think noodads: hot or not?
Welcome to another installment of our weekly feature: Ask the Chick. The chick is Latia Harris, a noodad reader and mom with a lot of answers for you. Each week, Latia will answer the questions you don’t have the balls to ask your own wives.
Dear Chick,
What do women prefer in terms of underwear? Boxers? Boxer Briefs? Thongs? Tightie Whities? My wife says she doesn’t really care but there is no way she doesn’t have a preference. What do you prefer and why? — Underwear Trouble Read the rest of this entry »
