Mom knows a lot. And she knows you. The combination of those two things makes her THE go to resource in you life for all of the info you don’t know or your partner is unsure about — how to choose a good pineapple (Answer: smell it), whether you can refreeze chicken (Answer: No), whether you were ever vaccinated against Rubella (Answer: probably)…
Yeah, she’s pretty smart but Mom doesn’t know EVERYTHING and she’s propagated some long-standing myths who’s time has come to be debunked.
Noodad.com is busting some of your mom’s warnings - we call ‘em “Mom’isms.” But because we’re in the business of providing useful info applicable to your role as sage molder of young minds, we’re also telling you what you should be telling your kids…
I read an article last week about a Santa who was ripshit because people were taking their own pictures of kids sitting on his lap at the mall. His argument was that the price was not that expensive, starting around $10 Canadian and that people were ripping off the photography team.
Come on St. Nincompoop! Having Santa in the mall creates mall traffic. It’s not our fault you were a poor negotiator and are now counting on getting a cut of the photo revenues to make your rent or buy your next bottle of Christmas cheer! What do you think, noodads?
In the crush of the holiday season, a lot gets left to the last minute and being the kind of dads that we are (selfless, sacrificing), the focus is clearly on our broods. Same goes for your partner - conversations related to gift giving revolve around the kids. You can feel good about yourself as a parent but where does that leave you as a dude - most likely with a couple of gifts that are nothing that you’d hoped for if you dared to hope at all.
If you’re anything like us at Noodad, you feel, upon reflection that you had little opportunity (or maybe it’s too little energy) to drop those all too critical hints to the Mrs. that help ensure that you don’t end up with socks in a dopp kit or a cartoon-themed necktie.
While time is short, there’s still time. So in the spirit of brotherly assistance, we offer the 2008 Edition of our “What Dads Should Covet this Holiday Season” list - intended to save you time (from thinking about what you should covet) and energy: our suggestion is to print this article out and leave it on the kitchen table TONIGHT or just leave this page up on the computer screen for your significant other to see next time they check email.
**The following is an article from our friends at Motherwords Magazine. Make sure you tell your wives about this great magazine.**
Hold it right there! This is your stop. Take out a pen, paper, Blackberry, whatever you need, because THIS is what we want stuffing our stockings. No crotchless panties, no flower bouquets with fern filler. We want stuff we can use! Gift certificates for pampery, feminine stuff, house stuff, personal stuff—just stuff we don’t normally like you to see on the receipt, ok? Maybe a little something special in a pretty package? Don’t tell me you don’t know how to wrap. That’s what the gift-wrap section in the mall is for. Usually manned by cute little college girls on vacation from school. See? Something for everyone. Read the rest of this entry »
What if Noodad and Foodad merged DNA and spawned an alien clone? According to the Routan Babymaker 3000, it would look like this:
You know, with all this recent talk about men getting pregnant, it is no surprise that Foodad would make a good human host for 9 months. All kidding aside, you may be seeing the latest commercials about the new minivan from VW, the Routan. Read the rest of this entry »
It has gone down as the funniest picture ever taken of my daughter. Here she is, with a beautiful purple dress on, reaching out her arms in a desperate plea to be rescued. This would be a sad picture had she not been sitting on the lap of the ugliest Santa Claus you have ever seen. Here she is, as if we handed her over to a third world prison guard. Here he is, with his tree trunk thighs and ratty beard smiling his $6/hour Rent-A-Santa smile. It's the greatest picture ever. Read the rest of this entry »
Just because you planted your seed and the sproutlet is forming does not mean you are ready to be a dad. Sure, you have the necessary equipment to build a family, but it takes more than a boink to be a real dad. You need to develop cat-like reflexes and be cunning like a ninja. Think you have what it takes? Take our quiz to find out.
1. How much sleep a night do you need to function as a human being?
A) 10 hours
B) 8 hours
C) 6 or less
D) Whatever I am given, I will utilize every second of Read the rest of this entry »
Mom knows a lot. And she knows you. The combination of those two things makes her THE go to resource in you life for all of the info you don’t know or your partner is unsure about — how to choose a good pineapple (Answer: smell it), whether you can refreeze chicken (Answer: No), whether you were ever vaccinated against Rubella (Answer: probably)…
I read an article last week about a Santa who was ripshit because people were taking their own pictures of kids sitting on his lap at the mall. His argument was that the price was not that expensive, starting around $10 Canadian and that people were ripping off the photography team.
In the crush of the holiday season, a lot gets left to the last minute and being the kind of dads that we are (selfless, sacrificing), the focus is clearly on our broods. Same goes for your partner - conversations related to gift giving revolve around the kids. You can feel good about yourself as a parent but where does that leave you as a dude - most likely with a couple of gifts that are nothing that you’d hoped for if you dared to hope at all.
It has gone down as the funniest picture ever taken of my daughter. Here she is, with a beautiful purple dress on, reaching out her arms in a desperate plea to be rescued. This would be a sad picture had she not been sitting on the lap of the ugliest Santa Claus you have ever seen. Here she is, as if we handed her over to a third world prison guard. Here he is, with his tree trunk thighs and ratty beard smiling his $6/hour Rent-A-Santa smile. It's the greatest picture ever.
