Sick Kid Etiquette: When to Cancel, Keep, and Reschedule Plans

Kids get sick. That’s a fact of parenthood and you just need to deal with it. What you do about it is clear: you give them medicine, you wipe their noses, and if it gets worse, you take them to the doctor.

What isn’t clear is how your kid’s sickness affects launch status for playdates, school, and house guests. Fortunately, i can shed some light on the situation with my handbook of Sick Kid Etiquette. With this guide, you will be able to quickly determine how to proceed in any social situation with a sick kid snotting on your shoulder.

When to cancel
The following scenarios should trigger an automatic cancellation of any social involvement. In these cases, it is not in anyone’s best interest to keep plans.
- If your kid is stricken with a violent bout of vomiting or diarrhea
- If your kid has a contagious condition like chicken pox or poison ivy
- If your kid just feels lethargic or has no energy

Those scenarios are pretty self-explanatory. But outside of those examples lies a huge gray area in the decision process. In these situations, communication and disclosure is key because your kid will most likely be full of energy and normal besides the simple fact of some cold symptoms.

Scenario: Your kid has a runny nose and his friend is coming over to your house.
Protocol: Call the friend’s parents and explain that your kid has a runny nose and that if they are ok with their kid coming over, you are ok with having them. Depending on how super-sensitive the parent is to sickness, they will probably say, that it doesn’t matter.

Scenario: Your kid has a runny nose and is invited to a friend’s house.
Protocol: Again, call friend’s parents and disclose the sickness and allow them to decide. To be totally accommodating, you can offer an alternate date to give friend’s parent an out.

Scenario: Your kid is sick and there is a planned playgroup at your house.
Protocol: Call every kid’s parents, disclose the sickness and immediately offer up an alternate date. The possibility of your kid infecting multiple kids in their playgroup is not a possibility you should explore. If it is a rotating schedule, ask for someone to cover for you and go out of your way to make it up to them. If they are normal, they will just do you a favor.

Scenario: Your kid is sick and a seldomly seen family is planning a visit.
Protocol: If the said family is from out of town, disclose sickness when they arrive at the door and do not cancel plans. You must take great care in isolating your sick kid from your out of town guests. If the family lives within one hour driving distance, give the guests a choice and immediately offer to reschedule. Most likely, the family will understand because they have kids too and they know how rare it is to find a time where no kid is sick.

Scenario: Your kid is sick and a frequently seen family is planning a visit.
Protocol: If the kid is feeling up to company, just casually alert said family that your kid has a cold. Then leave it up to the visiting family.

Scenario: Your kid is sick and you are expecting a guest who doesn’t have any kids.
Protocol: Disclose immediately that your kid isn’t feeling good but quickly explain what that means. Sometimes people without kids imagine a sick kid being one who has some ebola virus and pussing out their ears. Be descriptive and accurate. For example: “Hey Josh, just want you to know that my son has a little cold. He just has a runny nose but it isn’t bad. Just want you to know in case you want to cancel.” Most likely, (assuming your friend doesn’t live in a air-safe bubble) he will not cancel.

Scenario: Your kid is sick and you have your family visiting from out of town.
Protocol: Same as close friends from out of town depending, of course, on how close the family is.

Scenario: Your kid is sick and you have grandparents visiting from out of town.
Protocol: Disclose the sickness but demand they keep their plans. Grandparents fall into the category of “Warts and all” and should not be spared the potential of getting sick. It’s partially their fault for passing down genes that don’t do squat against illness.

Good luck noodads.