Not Getting Any: When is Enough Enough?

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Not Getting Any: When is Enough Enough?

Posted on 02 19, 2007 under Ask the Chick by TheChick | Comments

chastity Welcome to another installment of our weekly feature: Ask the Chick. The chick is Latia Harris, a noodad reader and mom with a lot of answers for you. Each week, Latia will answer the questions you don’t have the balls to ask your own wives.

Dear Chick,
My wife gave birth to our son 10 months ago. We have not had sex since she was 5 months pregnant. That was over a year ago. She says she isn’t ready yet but when does it cross the line from “giving her enough time” to downright neglect of my needs?

Dear Dude,

First off, you need to find out why she’s “not ready.”

What’s going on inside of her that is causing her to not want to be intimate with you.

She could be having some major body/hormonal issues; weight, appearance, breasts (having to share them with more than one person now can be tough), identity (is she a mother, wife, or herself first?), and a number of other issues. She could be afraid that she is unattractive now that she’s had a child.

She could still be dealing with post partum depression. A lack of libido or interest in sex is a symptom of depression, so keep an eye on her.

I seriously think the two of you should see a relationship counselor. If she is depressed, then she can get the help she needs. If there are some relationship problems that you aren’t aware of, then the two of you can work on that.

After a year, there is much more missing than sex-it could be communication and intimacy. Thus, you should see a counselor to figure out what the problem is.

I’ve been in your wife’s shoes before (and my boyfriend in yours), and they are very hard shoes to walk in. Just know that you and your wife are not alone. There are millions of couples struggling to regain their sex life after the birth of a baby.

Your wife’s OB-GYN can refer you to a post partum/relationship counselor.

I sincerely wish you and your wife the best of luck.

The Chick

Have a question for The Chick? Email her at contact {at} noodad {dot} com with “Ask the Chick” in the subject line.

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nanu 2 years ago 1 point
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If you really take gook care of the baby and be affectionate to the baby and also ask the mother about the baby and her health everything will become alright. Most men are self-fish and indifferent or fail to make their affection felt by the loved ones. The woman has given a heir to the family. So proper care and importance shown to her should certainly make things better.

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JeffJ 2 years ago 1 point
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A year is outside the range of normal. Physically, six weeks post delivery is all most women need to be ready for sex. I\'d say at this point, it\'s neglect of your needs. There\'s a head problem now. Whatever\'s going on between you needs attention by a counselor. GL dude.

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st4rbux 2 years ago 1 point
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\"Most men are self-fish and indifferent or fail to make their affection felt by the loved ones.\"

Nice. I\'m new around here, but that\'s not what I was expecting.

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