Understanding Bras and Thongs

Welcome to another installment of our weekly feature: Ask the Chick. The chick is Latia Harris, a noodad reader and mom with a lot of answers for you. Each week, Latia will answer the questions you don’t have the balls to ask your own wives. This week, she answers 2!

Q: Dear Chick, I feel pretty stupid about women’s bras. I want to buy them for my wife for Valentine’s Day but I have no idea which to buy.Like what is a demi cup? Or wireless or non-wireless? I know what Ilike to look at but I don’t know what to look for. Help!

Dear Dude,

You shouldn’t feel stupid about women’s bras. After all, bras are for supporting a woman’s rack…and unless you have a rack of your own, you shouldn’t really know anything about bras. And that is where I come in. To make this easier, I am going to cover a couple of the sexier types of bras.

As for a demi cup, it is a bra whose cup covers the nipple and at least ¾ of the breast. This is the type of bra your wife may wear on a daily basis. It’s comfy and sexy at the same time. Depending on the design, it can get even hotter. Also, your wife can wear it beneath clothes without feeling like she’s falling out of her bra or being unsupported.

The balconette, also known as a “shelf bra”, offers little to no coverage of the breast. They can range from barely covering the nipple all the way to just a covered underwire supporting the breast. These offer the most dramatic uplift and cleavage. The underwire for both of these types of bras is an absolute MUST.

It’ll keep things looking young and perky…and everyone can use a little bit more of “young and perky” in their life. Besides, you wouldn’t want those things flopping all over the place. Someone could lose an eye. You should keep your wife’s bra size in mind while doing some shopping. Just quietly check the tags of her bras in her underwear drawer.

You might find there are different sizes-use the sizes that you see the most of and buy a bra in that size. Just to make things extra complicated, bras vary in size from maker to maker, so don’t fret if the bra doesn’t fit your wife all that well…after all, it won’t be on for very long anyway, right?Here are some sites to help you out. Prices range from “rather reasonable” to “I could buy the Starship Enterprise” for that amount.

http://www.agentprovocateur.com (offering wonderfully HOT stuff)
http://www.spoylt.com (as seen on Desperate Housewives)
http://www.victoriassecret.com (the classic go to place for all types of undies)

Now, go out my son, and return a man.

Good Luck,The Chick
(Thanks to barenecessities.com for the info!)

Q: Chick, Is it true that women only wear thongs because they know men like them? My best friend (a woman) says that they are maduncomfortable and that’s the only reason why women wear them.

Dear ThongMan,

Your friend is wrong. Thongs are not only mad uncomfortable, they are MAD and near PAINFUL uncomfortable. I don’t refer to them as thongs. I call them “The everlasting wedgie machine”. Because that is what they are, an everlasting piece of fabric shoved between a tiny ass crevice. The only difference between that and a wedgie given by Bruno the Bully is that some women intentionally, and enjoy, the fabric shoved up their asses.

So to answer your question, yes and no. Some women wear thongs to avoid panty lines. Some wear them to impress men. Some (like me) only wear them because there is nothing else clean in the underwear drawer.

My feeling has always been that if I am going to be with someone that I have mutual romantic feelings for and he decides he doesn’t like me because I prefer not to shove fabric between my 1cm ass crevice, then he can kiss me and my ass crevice goodbye.

Hope that answered your question,

The Chick

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