The clock’s ticking, so let’s get right to it. Regardless of how cool an item you purchase for your wife, if signing the credit card slip at the mall or clicking the mouse on your computer represents your complete involvement in the Mother’s Day gift, you haven’t done enough. Oh, it might work the first year or two, but quickly you’ll learn that, at least for Mother’s Day: More Thought + More Effort = Better Gift.
It’s all about the kids. Make sure you add a kid angle to whatever you give your wife. Let’s take some of the items from Reviewdad’s gift list to see how this works. For the lunch tote, have your kids write a bunch of different messages on colored papers. Put them aside and slip one into the tote every once in a while when mom’s not looking. Think about how finding a simple note with the word “smile” written in your kid’s scrawl could turn her day around. For the yoga mat, if your kids are old enough, check out a book or video from the library and teach the kids some yoga poses so they can lead mom in an impromptu Mother’s Day yoga class. Read the rest of this entry »
So I visited my friends Wally and Jen the other day to see their beautiful new baby girl, and they asked me my thoughts on a disagreement/issue they were having concerning the family pet. I thought I’d put the scenario out there to help them get some unbiased opinions from noodad readers. Here’s the dilemma:
A few years ago, before they had children, my friends picked out a spirited black lab/chow mix pooch from the local kennel. They named him Boone. Boone hasn’t been the easiest dog. He’s a prolific barker, jumps on guests, and he gets carsick. My friends hired a professional dog trainer and Boone’s behavior is improving, especially when there are no visitors in the house. Although Boone is challenging and willful (as my friend from Ireland would say), he’s never hurt anyone. He’s just kind of an excitable dog and they love him. Read the rest of this entry »
Among the litany of items on your hospital’s Jiffy Lube Signature Service-esque checklist of newborn must-do’s is the critical first deuce. The inaugural bowel movement kicks off a new world for you—one where you’ll be privy to more ass-muck than a Port-A-Potty at a chili cook-off. Along this soiled road you’ll experience an array of textures, a host of nauseating scents, and more shades of brown than Benjamin Moore’s color wheel; especially in the first year. Here’s a primer on your child’s excrement evolutionary chart. Read the rest of this entry »
In a past Master Debaters article we asked noodad.com readers to give their opinions on circumcisions for their sons. Whether you’re a lawsuit-filing Intactivist bent on trimming circumcision from the litany of routine procedures for newborns, or you celebrate the cut like new mom and pop diva Christina Aguilera, the decision to circumcise (or not) is highly contentious. Don’t stress about the issue too much, though, because your decision to circumcise your son isn’t necessarily the last word on his foreskin. Read the rest of this entry »
When you’re a dad, every once in a while your kids will serve up surprises. Some of these are not of the pleasant variety, like hearing one of them say, “Feed the fish more!” as he dumps the whole jar of fish food in the 10-gallon tank, forcing you to become an emergency vet in an effort to save $8 worth of neon tetras. Or maybe going up to the crib only to find your kid has smeared his own feces all over his body so he looks like an extra from Apocalypto. You’ll see far more of these types of surprises when raising your kids than the good ones. I must have been due for a good surprise, though, because I got one the other day that became an instant classics in my family’s lore. I thought I’d share it with all you noodads. Just put your mind in the gutter and check out my first-grader’s math homework… Read the rest of this entry »
Meet “My First Spider-Man”, Playskool’s gateway super hero action figure for the toddler set. Press the black spider in the center of his torso, and Spider-Man’s eyes light up as he enthusiastically shouts different messages such as: “Ready to be a super hero!”, “Target practice time!”, and, of course, “I’m your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!” He’s got an oversized head, hands, and feet for easy handling by your toddler. Perhaps the coolest selling point is the web blaster feature. Two white plastic webs slide into holes in Spidey’s wrists, and there’s a button on his back that launches them when pressed. The danger in this toy isn’t from the force at which the webs launch (they pack about as much a punch as Ron Jeremy after take six), but rather from where the webs are left around the house once your kid has completed a round of crime-fighting with Spider-Man. Read the rest of this entry »
In recent years we’ve been beaten over the head about how
fat we are as nation.It seems like you
can’t watch a newscast without some story (complete with from-the-neck-down
shots of anonymous fatties walking down the street with a 32-ounce soda in hand)
airing about how yet another food contributes to packing on the pounds.Of course, nobody wants to hear it.“I’m a grown man!” you shout at the news
anchor, wildly waving a sub sandwich as you recline in your La-Z-Boy.“You’ll have to pry this cheesesteak out of
my cold, dead hands!”Some guys even
treat their beer bellies like some gelatinous badge of honor by wearing
t-shirts that say “Body by Bud” in stretched funhouse mirror letters across
their expansive midsections.It seems
like nothing can get us to pay attention to our expanding waistlines, but a
recent article in the New England Journal of Medicine might just do the
trick:How’d you like a nice set of jugs
to go with your gut?
Once again, we did it. The valiant members of Team Noodad completed and defeated the fabled Boston Marathon course in a team record 9 hours on Sunday, September 16, shaving off a full 30 minutes from last year’s time. The 26.2 mile course put up a good fight, throwing all it had at Team Noodad in an effort to make us submit. This year we encountered fewer angry drivers and handled the steep thigh-burning inclines more easily. By starting earlier we found the Port-A-Johns a little cleaner and, after encountering a horrendous putrid cloud emanating from the rotted corpse of a flat, slow-footed squirrel within the first mile of the walk, there wasn’t an odor we couldn’t handle. Read the rest of this entry »
After taking a break for the summer, my friend’s babysitter sent her an e-mail about sitting during the upcoming school year. Citing “an increase in the minimum wage” and car payments pending receipt of her driver’s license, the babysitter informed my friend that her rate was going from $7 an hour to $10 an hour (my friend has two kids, ages 7 and 4). Additionally, the babysitter said that because she opts to baby-sit instead of getting a job at a store where her shifts would be guaranteed, my friend would have to pay her for her scheduled time if for some reason my friend had to cancel the babysitter’s shift.
“What stones!” you say. “Cut her loose!” In the immortal words of College Game Day’s Ticonderoga-tapping Lee Corso, “Not so fast!” My friend’s girls don’t do so well with transition, she trusts the babysitter, and the girls really like her.
You wouldn’t know it by some of the commentary on noodad.com this week, but when they aren’t stirring up hornets’ nests on dance studio owners’ Web site message boards or fondling their iPhones, our faithful leaders Noodad and Foodad actually look for ways to make the world a better place. Case in point, The Boston Marathon® Jimmy Fund Walk 2006. When I approached Greg and Mike about sponsoring a team and participating in the walk, they couldn’t have been more supportive. Greg met us bright and early in Hopkinton ready to take on the course, and raised a bunch of cash. Mike donated to The Jimmy Fund and sought out Team Noodad.com on the route to snap the official team photo. (I’m not sure why Mike didn’t walk, but I thing Greg said something about him taking shrapnel during the Invasion of Grenada.) This year, the consummate do-gooders are jumping into the fray once more.
On September 16, 2007, a bigger, bolder Team Noodad.com is going to help out with the fight against cancer by participating in the Boston Marathon® Jimmy Fund Walk. That’s right, Team Noodad.com is going to lace ‘em up again and drag our atrophied bodies over every last inch of the famed 26.2 mile Boston Marathon route to raise money for the Jimmy Fund and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. Here’s how you can help: Read the rest of this entry »
The clock’s ticking, so let’s get right to it. Regardless of how cool an item you purchase for your wife, if signing the credit card slip at the mall or clicking the mouse on your computer represents your complete involvement in the Mother’s Day gift, you haven’t done enough. Oh, it might work the first year or two, but quickly you’ll learn that, at least for Mother’s Day: More Thought + More Effort = Better Gift.
So I visited my friends Wally and Jen the other day to see their beautiful new baby girl, and they asked me my thoughts on a disagreement/issue they were having concerning the family pet. I thought I’d put the scenario out there to help them get some unbiased opinions from noodad readers. Here’s the dilemma:
THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED APRIL 2006
In a past 
In recent years we’ve been beaten over the head about how
Once again, we did it. The valiant members of Team Noodad completed and defeated the fabled Boston Marathon course in a team record 9 hours on Sunday, September 16, shaving off a full 30 minutes from last year’s time. The 26.2 mile course put up a good fight, throwing all it had at Team Noodad in an effort to make us submit. This year we encountered fewer angry drivers and handled the steep thigh-burning inclines more easily. By starting earlier we found the Port-A-Johns a little cleaner and, after encountering a horrendous putrid cloud emanating from the rotted corpse of a flat, slow-footed squirrel within the first mile of the walk, there wasn’t an odor we couldn’t handle.
After taking a break for the summer, my friend’s babysitter sent her an e-mail about sitting during the upcoming school year. Citing “an increase in the minimum wage” and car payments pending receipt of her driver’s license, the babysitter informed my friend that her rate was going from $7 an hour to $10 an hour (my friend has two kids, ages 7 and 4). Additionally, the babysitter said that because she opts to baby-sit instead of getting a job at a store where her shifts would be guaranteed, my friend would have to pay her for her scheduled time if for some reason my friend had to cancel the babysitter’s shift. 
You wouldn’t know it by some of the commentary on noodad.com this week, but when they aren’t stirring up hornets’ nests on dance studio owners’ Web site message boards or fondling their iPhones, our faithful leaders Noodad and Foodad actually look for ways to make the world a better place. Case in point, The Boston Marathon® Jimmy Fund Walk 2006. When I approached Greg and Mike about sponsoring a team and participating in the walk, they couldn’t have been more supportive. Greg met us bright and early in Hopkinton ready to take on the course, and raised a bunch of cash. Mike donated to The Jimmy Fund and sought out Team Noodad.com on the route to snap the official team photo. (I’m not sure why Mike didn’t walk, but I thing Greg said something about him taking shrapnel during the Invasion of Grenada.) This year, the consummate do-gooders are jumping into the fray once more.
