It Takes a Village (And Some of the Villagers Will Screw You)

Our friend arrived at home tonight to find his wife’s car door open. It was no accident. A quick inspection revealed a missing item: their child’s car seat. Some SOB broke into their car and stole their friggen car seat. I cannot imagine that the black market resale value of a used car seat was worth the time and effort invested to steal the damn thing. It’s not like I ever saw car seats hung up in rows next to the guitars at the local pawn shop. I have to assume that the lousy bastard who fled in the night with a booster seat tucked under his arm actually needed the thing for his own child. I have been an advocate for poor families for years and at the risk of sounding heartless, I have some advice that is too late for this particular thief. My advice? If you can’t afford a car seat or if you lack the mental resources to obtain a free or loaner seat, you might want to think twice about having any more kids. If your plan to support your children involves anything that might land your butt in jail, you had better start working on Plan B and pronto.

Our friends couldn’t have imagined this would happen. The ironic thing is that if they had actually encountered a family who couldn’t afford a car seat, they probably would have bought one for the family in need. That’s because these parents, like me, want to help other parents. Parents of young kids usually associate with other parents with young kids. It’s a very helpful and nurturing community. Have a kid or two and you may find yourself in the neighborhood kid commune with arranged group play dates and hand-me down clothes swaps. You may even earn membership in an extended network of neighbors that will gladly pick up some apple juice or milk for your kids if they happen to be running to the store for their kids. We noodads unite for the common good. Sadly, not everyone is sharing the vibe though, because someone out there will steal your damn child seat if you forget to lock your car doors. Reality has a funny way of ruining the higher aspirations that many of us appreciate once we have brought a new life into the world.

To the lousy thief in Dallas – perhaps you are reading this on stolen laptop? I hope for your sake that universal karma doesn’t visit your innocent child who now rides daily on stolen property. Although you don’t want it, I have pity for you. And I hold greater hopes for you as well. I hope you can provide your child enough in life to ensure that they don’t become a two bit thief like their own parent. I also hope that you can locate and embrace the community of other parents near you. Next time just ask for help. You might get it.

Stephen Gilpin image used without permission. http://www.sgilpin.com/comics.html