Top 10 Disney World Pitfalls
Posted on 10 04, 2006 under Brokedad by foodad | Comments
Disney World is the ultimate vacation for your family. I saw
people of every age in the park the last time I was there. Every person
seemed to be really enjoying themselves. Sure you see kids having fits,
but that's expected when there is so much excitement. I would venture
that about 80% of the under 10 crowded did not get a good night's sleep
the night before, so right around 10 AM you can see a lot of mini
meltdowns. Just another source of entertainment.
Here are some things to watch out for when you are at the park.
Top 10 Disney World Pitfalls
10 – Long lines – Get there early and go on the rides you care
about most. Fast pass rides throughout the day so that you can leave
and come back. Take some time to actually talk to your family while
you are in line.
9 – Crazy people who don't know where they are going – Nobody
knows how to drive in the Disney World area. This is primarily because
everyone is from out of town. Take this into account. Also remember
that there are a ton of blue haired people who drive tanks and cannot
see over the steering wheel. Sometimes these people park in the middle
of the through lane for no reason. Believe me, I nearly rear ended one.
8 - People who won't let you pass I am a Masshole.
Therefore I feel entitled to the highway, parkway, driveway, skyway,
catwalk and sidewalk. As long as we are going in the same direction,
you are in my way. Sometimes people just like to walk leisurely. It is
important to remember that they are as selfish as you are. You can try
politely asking them to get the f$@( out of the way, but it's probably
better just to kick it down a notch yourself. You are on vacation
afterall
{mosnooad}
7 – Meltdowns – Do not be afraid to leave the park. If you
push your kids, that is when you will experience meltdown. We
bailed during the hottest part of the day, 12-3. We hit the pool at our
"resort", grabbed some Z and ate. This down time prepared us for
the long evening and allowed us to keep our kids out late enough to see
the fireworks. If you stay on property, consider bailing before
the fireworks and viewing them from the property.
6 – Fast Food - We ate Checkers, Sonic (I
give this a foodad total pwnage award), Papa John's and Burger King. In
the park we had Hot Dogs at Casey's, funnel cakes, turkey legs and
stuffed pretzels. It's really hard to avoid. The character
meals are worthwhile because they have fruits and vegetable and the
kids also get to meet characters like Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Piglet
and Eeyore. Try the breakfast lasagna. It's like a party in your mouth.
5 – Hot Weather - My nuts were so sweaty, I
thought they would just off and swim away in <lake in
adventureland>. Bring your own water. Consider also bringing a
spray bottle to cool off the kids. The park also has sprinklers
in Ariel's Grotto and next to the Magic Carpets among other
places. Splash Mountain is a great place to cool off if you have
older kids.
4 – The Flight – I am that crazy guy who totes 2 car
seats through the airport because I do not want to check them. I
gate check one and use the other on the plane for my son. On my most
recent trip, I relaxed a little on the rules. We paid the price.
3 – Cost – There are many ways to minimize the cost of a trip to
Disney World. Cut corners on your hotel. Take advantage of one of
those offers from Sheraton or Hilton to stay in one of their time
shares (sign up for the preferred memeber club, you will probably get
some offers that way). Sure, you need to see a time share presentation,
but they gave us $175 cashola to see it. No, I did not buy a
timeshare. The maintenance fees are where they getcha. "Cmon, Mi-kel.
Just gather up some courage and jump de fence. You need to own
something. Make a smart inwestment." Hahahahaha. No thanks. I am not
paying $675/year in maintenance fees on top of my "ownership" fee. My
wife even brought some Disney "souvenirs" with us so that she could
give them to my daughter. She didn't know the
difference. This article is about going for free.
2 – Fornicating Bugs – I have never been exposed to
so much sexual congress in my life. The worst thing is that these
june bugs or whatever the hell they are think that they can just use me
as a Motel 6. As there is a seemingly limitless supply of sexbugs, I do
not have any answers for this problem except to drive on the
highway. You will splatter them against your grill and
windshield. Thank goodness for rental cars.
1 – Trying to Do It All - Pace yourself. If
there is one thing I have learned about Disney World is that it is a
lifelong experience. If you do not see something this time, save it for
next time. Different aged kids like to do different things and
there really is something for everyone. Do not stress if you miss
an attraction. My philosophy on vacation spots it is impossible to see
everything in the best ones. The best spots leave something for
you to look forward to the next time you go. Be sure to prioritze and
do not be afraid to leave some fun for a return visit. If there is not
going to be a next time due to whatever reason, savor the things that
you did and do not fret the things that you were unable to fit in.
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