Why Dads Get Screwed

This post was originally published May 10, 2007. With father’s Day approaching it’s good to reflect on how Mom’s score with Mother’s Day.

The following rant is an irrational, straight-from-the-heart rambling by a sleep-deprived overworked and stressed-out father. You have been warned.

The big day for moms is coming up this sunday: Mother’s Day. It’s a time for celebrating the best thing to ever happen to you and your kids: the mom. And even though it is all nice and cheery, deep down inside, us dads who are really honest about are feelings, feel like we get the royal screwjob. There is no question that moms deserve everything they get, but dads wants some action too. Here’s why:
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More Mother’s Day Gift Tips

The clock’s ticking, so let’s get right to it. Regardless of how cool an item you purchase for your wife, if signing the credit card slip at the mall or clicking the mouse on your computer represents your complete involvement in the Mother’s Day gift, you haven’t done enough. Oh, it might work the first year or two, but quickly you’ll learn that, at least for Mother’s Day: More Thought + More Effort = Better Gift.

It’s all about the kids. Make sure you add a kid angle to whatever you give your wife. Let’s take some of the items from Reviewdad’s gift list to see how this works. For the lunch tote, have your kids write a bunch of different messages on colored papers. Put them aside and slip one into the tote every once in a while when mom’s not looking. Think about how finding a simple note with the word “smile” written in your kid’s scrawl could turn her day around. For the yoga mat, if your kids are old enough, check out a book or video from the library and teach the kids some yoga poses so they can lead mom in an impromptu Mother’s Day yoga class.
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So You Wanna Be With a Supermodel

Ever wanted to know what its like to be with a supermodel? Supermodel Adriana Lima has some tips to being with a supermodel. You can read it here.

Odds are, you may have already dated or even married a potential supermodel. You just didn’t know it because you were buried in your Blackberry. For us married folks, it is important to remember how hot our wives are and apply the same principles.

Secrets of Sexual Prowess? Ask a Dad.

Finally, national recognition (and reality revealed) for what us dads come to realize very quickly when we become dads - that the burden of keeping the physical romance alive when you have a family falls to us guys and that we’re pretty great for figuring out how to do it!

Where is this recognition coming from? NPR of all places. That’s right - National Public Radio.

Commentator Patrica Dunnigan’s revelation of the “romantic prowess” of “suburban dads” and assertion that “it is time to extend some long-overdue credit” should cause us all to puff up our chests and her words (which you can listen to or read here) should make us all smile. It did for me.

A little Valentine’s Day gift from NPR.

Will Your Valentine’s Day Be Naughty or Nice?

NSA (Noodad Service Announcement): Valentine’s Day is less than 3 weeks away. Don’t let it sneak up on you…do your shopping now.

And if your a busy guy who’d prefer to let your fingers do the shopping (I’m not talking about the 5 finger discount!), Red Envelope can help.

A ReviewDad favorite for many years now for its vast selection of “I’d NEVER have thought of that” gifts, stellar web site, great customer service (with honest-to-god helpful live chat) and somewhat reasonable prices, not only can Red Envelope help but it stands to become the chief weapon in your gift-giving arsenal from this day forward.

V-day is tough…I mean, do you want to be THAT guy who does the dozen roses thing EVERY year? You don’t and she doesn’t want you to be either. Other options include what? Undies and chocolate. BORING. Let’s face it, she doesn’t want to wear it and the chocolate isn’t much of an incentive! And none of these represent much in the way of upside for you.
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Should Breastfeeding Videos Be Banned By YouTube?

Breastfeeding is a natural and very exciting thing for a dad to witness. As we have written before, although it may seem like an erotic peepshow jackpot for predads thinking they will get to ogle their wives’ monster jugs every few hours, they will quickly realize that it is sadly, not the case.

But is breastfeeding obscene? Apparently Facebook thought so. They banned pictures of breastfeeding on their site. Then when a video montage of women breastfeeding was put together by a mom in protest and published on YouTube, they banned it too. Read the rest of this entry »

What Dads Really Want for the Holidays

We know that despite our best efforts, there are chicks visiting our site and reading our articles. You ladies just can’t help it can you? Like the scene in Porky’s you just can’t help look through the peephole to the locker room. Ok, maybe that was just us guys in high school that dreamt of the girl’s locker room.

Regardless, while you are here, we may as well use you to our advantage. After all, the holidays are right around the corner and you probably want to know what we want.

Here are a few ideas: Read the rest of this entry »

Hey Mom, Know What Your Husband Really Wants for Father’s Day?

You may be asking yourself, "Why in the world is Noodad and Foodad posting an article directed at moms?" The answer is simple: These ladies are cool moms and their book is bad.ass. And…read suggestion #1: show it to your wife and thank us later.

By Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O’Neill and Julia Stone, co-authors of Babyproofing Your Marriage

So, ladies, what’s it going to be for Father’s Day this year?  Do you want to stick with the usual standbys – necktie, sporting goods, power tools – or instead, really try to knock his socks off?  In writing Babyproofing Your Marriage, we talked to hundreds of dads who told us they were desperately in need of a little appreciation.  Yet another addition to his sports/sock/electrical appliance collection won’t make your man feel like he’s king for the day.  He’d rather have one of the Three A’s:  Appreciation, Affirmation or Acknowledgement.  Sound familiar?  He wants the same thing you do!

Most men told us that no matter how hard they work, they feel like it’s never enough for their wives.  According to them, we only seem to notice the things they don’t do (forgetting to pick up the milk), and/or the things they don’t do right (dressing the kids for church in football jerseys).

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Suffering from Man-struation

It's my time of the month. I can't explain it but for some reason little things get on my nerves, I'm irritable, I'm feeling a tad bloated, and I am generally a pain in the ass to be around. These days, I pop a few StressTabs in my mouth every morning. You know the pills: the ones with the picture of the candle being burned on both ends on the outside?

A week ago, I was fine. There was an optimism in the air. Everything was cheery. Then little by little, a cloud started to form over my head. At first I thought I was imagining my ever-increasing bitchiness. But when I still couldn't sustain a smile after my Red Sox swept the Yankees last weekend, I knew I had it bad. I was Man-struating.

You may think that having the "time of the month" is reserved for the vagina and boob crowd, but you are wrong. Men can go through it too. Sure, we aren't purging discharge from our bodies but we can get pretty moody. And for no apparent reason, we can snap at innocent loved ones with our irrationality.
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When Your Wife Dresses Your Boy Like a Girl

Kids clothes are tricky for dads. Some dads operate under the premise that whatever their wives buy for their kids, that's what they wear. In some extreme cases, there are dads who obsess over their kids (from infancy to school age) always sporting the local team jersey.

I consider myself in a lucky situation(somewhere inthe middle): my wife does the majority of the clothes shopping but she holds my opinions in high regard: many times IM'ing me links from Gymboree.com or BabyStyle or Janie and Jack and asking me to pick out what I like. When we are at the mall, she will hold up two different shirts and ask me to pick which one I like. For those who don't know me personally, the one with any orange in it is always the winner.

I love that she includes me in the decisions and values my tastes. Most of the times, I am able to truly help pick out my kids' wardrobes. And work in the occasional Red Sox jersey in there. But every once in a while, there is a surprise. Once in a blue moon, a rogue article of clothing makes it into the wardrobe, off the hanger and onto my poor kid's body.
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