Kids clothes are tricky for dads. Some dads operate under the premise that whatever their wives buy for their kids, that's what they wear. In some extreme cases, there are dads who obsess over their kids (from infancy to school age) always sporting the local team jersey.
I consider myself in a lucky situation(somewhere inthe middle): my wife does the majority of the clothes shopping but she holds my opinions in high regard: many times IM'ing me links from Gymboree.com or BabyStyle or Janie and Jack and asking me to pick out what I like. When we are at the mall, she will hold up two different shirts and ask me to pick which one I like. For those who don't know me personally, the one with any orange in it is always the winner.
I love that she includes me in the decisions and values my tastes. Most of the times, I am able to truly help pick out my kids' wardrobes. And work in the occasional Red Sox jersey in there. But every once in a while, there is a surprise. Once in a blue moon, a rogue article of clothing makes it into the wardrobe, off the hanger and onto my poor kid's body. Read the rest of this entry »
This article was originally published March of 2006.Although it is for Mother's Day it certainly applies to Valentine's Day as well.
Mother's Day, depending on how much you liked your mother was probably just a quick little obligatory holiday. You called home and told her you loved her. Maybe if you were proactive enough you remembered to send a card or even flowers. If you were like me, once I got married, my wife took over those duties.
There was a time, and that time may be longer for some than others, when you abided by one simple rule when it came to allegiances, "Bro's before ho's." First off, let me make something really clear: The use of the term, "Ho" is in no way meant to degrade females, poke fun of ebonics, nor is it meant to lump all "whores" in one category. It is merely a term used in this phrase because it rhymes with "bro's". Plus, the only other possible phrase that includes a manly trait, a womanly trait, and a rhyme is "Dicks before chicks" and that just sounds like something else all together. Read the rest of this entry »
Dawn Olsen has published a good article at Blogcritics on the
controversial breastfeeding cover on BabyTalk magazine. Following is an
excerpt from her article with my comments following:
"In this country, we want our breasts to be large, full, and barely
covered by skin-tight Hooters' t-shirts."
NOODAD RESPONSE: Absolutely
"What we DON'T want,
apparently, is to see pictures of babies
doing what babies have done since the dawning of mankind: nursing at
the nipple of their mother. The outrage over a cover shot on BabyTalk magazine for an article on breastfeeding is hysterically ironic."
We're not usually ones to move you away from noodad, but I think this article is pretty interesting. The gyst is that the mother ADMITS to being disinterested in parenting her own kids. Check this out:
I can understand moments of frustration and boredom, but this seems like pure disinterest. What would possibly motivate this woman to write about it in a national publication? What could she hope to gain? Is she trying to encourage others out there?
It"s Mother"s Day and noodad.com is proud to salute the mothers of our children. But instead of just regurgitating common sentiments and canned Hallmark moments, the writing staff has decided to concentrate on what we call, "The Moment." This term marks the single moment in time when we realized how great our wives would be at motherhood. It is a moment of realization and revelation, the very instant when we realized just how lucky we were and how screwed we would be raising our kids without them. We hope you enjoy reading these messages as much as we enjoyed sharing them. And we encourage you other dads out there to add a comment and proclaim your admiration to your wives in this public forum. Read the rest of this entry »
Maybe you have a new baby and you’re not getting to spend a lot of time together, or your kids are older and they’re driving you crazy driving back and forth from soccer, hockey and karate practice. Whatever the reason you’re spending less time together, I have three words for you:
If your wife is breastfeeding or plans to breastfeed, you will be barraged with new terminology. Not only should you know what they mean, you should be respectful of the implications they carry with them. For all you veteran Noodads, please add to this list so the newbies can be prepared.
Engorge (en"gorj) verb 1 cause to swell with blood, water, milk, or another fluid
Noodad Explanation: Your wife"s boobs will fill up with milk after the baby is born. This will cause them to be huge (I"m talking Tera Patrick huge) and incredibly sensitive. Do not dare make contact with them or even look at them. Imagine getting kicked in the nuts and then jumping on a trampoline. That"s the pain your wife will have.
Used in context: "Dammit honey! You left that newspaper hanging off the table and I walked past and it grazed my engorged breast. Now I will kill you."
So you messed up. It"s inevitable: no matter how hard you try to keep up the pace you simply cannot be a superstar dad, husband, and employee all the time. Eventually you are going to slip up in one of the areas. For me, every time I slip, it is always screwing up with being a superstar husband.
If I try to Monday morning quarterback it I would say that it is because subconsciously I know that I can"t afford to not be top notch at work. I"ll get fired. I can"t afford to not be SuperDad. Or my kids will punish me the rest of my life with claims of neglect and psychological trauma from an absent dad. For some reason I consider being a good husband to be important…only 3rd important.
I"m here to tell you that I"ve sort of gotten it wrong, fellas. You need to represent all 3 equally. Sometimes you may even need to make some sacrifices to give your wife the needed attention she deserves. My wife puts up with me because she loves me. But that doesn"t mean I can abuse that "till death do us part" vow. So it is important that you remember your wife and her needs too. Read the rest of this entry »
It"s that time of year again. You thought you started to see the warning signs but you weren"t sure. The look of determination in your wife"s eyes. The increased time at the mall or online. Sorry fellas but it is Gymbucks redemption time at Gymboree again. The time of year where mothers and grandmothers everywhere flock to the Gymboree stores like each location is their very own Burning Man. If you didn"t know any better, you would think Gymbo himself was holding a bubble wand to their heads demanding their Gymbucks or he would smother them with the parachute.
Let me first establish that I do not really have a problem with Gymboree. They make great clothes. They also offer great classes. For me, the biggest problem with the Gymbucks program is that it is brilliant. So brilliant that it suckers women to fall into their trap. I ran the numbers. I"m in favor of companies making profit but the admiration wanes a tad. Especially when it is at the expense of the fund I set up to get one of those home soda machines. Let me decipher it for you so that you can get to know it as intimately as me. Read the rest of this entry »
Kids clothes are tricky for dads. Some dads operate under the premise that whatever their wives buy for their kids, that's what they wear. In some extreme cases, there are dads who obsess over their kids (from infancy to school age) always sporting the local team jersey. 
This article was originally published March of 2006.Although it is for Mother's Day it certainly applies to Valentine's Day as well.
There was a time, and that time may be longer for some than others, when you abided by one simple rule when it came to allegiances, "Bro's before ho's." First off, let me make something really clear: The use of the term, "Ho" is in no way meant to degrade females, poke fun of ebonics, nor is it meant to lump all "whores" in one category. It is merely a term used in this phrase because it rhymes with "bro's". Plus, the only other possible phrase that includes a manly trait, a womanly trait, and a rhyme is "Dicks before chicks" and that just sounds like something else all together.
Dawn Olsen has published a good article at Blogcritics on the
We're not usually ones to move you away from noodad, but I think this article is pretty interesting. The gyst is that the mother ADMITS to being disinterested in parenting her own kids. Check this out:
It"s Mother"s Day and noodad.com is proud to salute the mothers of our children. But instead of just regurgitating common sentiments and canned Hallmark moments, the writing staff has decided to concentrate on what we call, "The Moment." This term marks the single moment in time when we realized how great our wives would be at motherhood. It is a moment of realization and revelation, the very instant when we realized just how lucky we were and how screwed we would be raising our kids without them. We hope you enjoy reading these messages as much as we enjoyed sharing them. And we encourage you other dads out there to add a comment and proclaim your admiration to your wives in this public forum. 
If your wife is breastfeeding or plans to breastfeed, you will be barraged with new terminology. Not only should you know what they mean, you should be respectful of the implications they carry with them. For all you veteran Noodads, please add to this list so the newbies can be prepared.
So you messed up. It"s inevitable: no matter how hard you try to keep up the pace you simply cannot be a superstar dad, husband, and employee all the time. Eventually you are going to slip up in one of the areas. For me, every time I slip, it is always screwing up with being a superstar husband.
It"s that time of year again. You thought you started to see the warning signs but you weren"t sure. The look of determination in your wife"s eyes. The increased time at the mall or online. Sorry fellas but it is Gymbucks redemption time at Gymboree again. The time of year where mothers and grandmothers everywhere flock to the Gymboree stores like each location is their very own Burning Man. If you didn"t know any better, you would think Gymbo himself was holding a bubble wand to their heads demanding their Gymbucks or he would smother them with the parachute.
