The ReviewDad clan was on the move today… We headed down to the in-law’s place in Southwest Florida. We’re here and we’re happy. It’s 9pm. We have all of our luggage. My son is in bed and I’ve got a glass of wine in hand. I’m in a good place and I’m ripe for reflection on the day and this stage of my life.
Reflection #1 - JetBlue rocks, everyone else pales in comparison. Three reasons:
Extra Leg Room - if you’ve ever tried to strap a Britax Marathon into an airplane seat, you know how valuable additional inches of space are. JetBlue has the most.
TV - Free Nick at 30,000 feet = Nirvana for parents + kids. Figuring out how to change the channels on the armrest is 15 min of entertainment during pre-flight that’s a god-send.
Service - the flight attendants DON’T SUCK. They’re not wretched, miserable trolls taking out their Read the rest of this entry »
If you are a dad that goes to work, you know that kids (god love’m) can put a serious damper on your morning routine. You could have felt you had the most efficient, streamlined morning routine only to discover that it is your kid or kids that bring it to a screeching halt.
The bottom line is kids change our lives. Some of it is good. Some of it is bad. All of it is change. That is why if you have a morning routine that ends up in you needing to be productive and presentable for work you need to know these 5 rules.
Rule #1: Never put on your dress shirt until right before you leave
It has happened to me 3 times in the last 6 weeks. A kid rubs his dirty breakfast mouth on your neatly pressed white dress shirt shoulder just as you are running out the door. Or even worse, your kid throws up on you. I always iron my shirt and leave it on a hanger in my laundry room. I walk around in an undershirt until the last possible moment before leaving. Read the rest of this entry »
My daughter is about as smart and responsible as a dad could hope of his five year would be. I was shocked last evening when I found her bawling in the bathroom. I mean, she was like Noodad-with-a-hangnail-bawling! She just told me that she brushed her teeth and my wife told her that she did not do a good enough job. I guess she took of whiff of her breath and it reminded her of Cujo or something. I thought my sweet little innocent princess was bawling because she is a little bit sensitive about having to do things over. The truth was that she lied about brushing her teeth in the first place. That little rat! Furthermore, this was not the first time she lied to me about brushing her teeth! Innocence lost already? Not quite. After a three hour search of her room, I did not find any marijuana, Pokemon cards, alcohol, firearms, cigarettes, spare ribs or chewing tobacco.
She knows that brushing her little choppers is really important. She also knows that telling the truth is important. Seems there was a problem with her toothpaste being stuck in the tube and rather than ask us to fix it, she was just deciding not to brush her teeth. Or she would use her little brother’s training toothpaste if she decided to brush at all. Read the rest of this entry »
Our weekend did not go as planned. We expected to get up on Sunday and take the kids out for dim sum, suggestion from my oldest daughter. I got up early on Sunday (in an attempt) to let my wife sleep later. Anything past 8:30AM is really late in our house. I needed some baby supplies so I took the little one upstairs. That’s when I heard a thud and THE squeal. I rushed down the stairs and put the baby down and picked up my son who was already bleeding out of his mouth. He “decided” to taste the wood work at full speed.
I got some paper towels. I started to blot the blood while I inspected the situation. Ugh. One of his front teeth was clearly about a millimeter back. FREEZE NOODAD!
Being a dad these days is more than fertilizing an egg or signing an adoption paper. Gone are the days when you come home from a hard day’s work, eat a fully prepared meal and then go to the den to drink some cognac smoking cigars letting the missus take care of your clan. We are road-tested, poop stains and all. We get our hands dirty! We get our nuts crushed! We get our shirts stained!
But, until you can really consider yourself a seasoned dad, there are a number of events that you must go through. These events happen to every dad. They do not come as planned. Some are a PITA. But all are necessary to wear the badge of fatherhood proudly.
#1. Potty training in a public restroom.
You haven’t truly lived until you have tried to take a potty training kid into a public restroom. That kid is like a time bomb ready to go at any moment. You are a concerned parent looking for a clean place to plop them down on. Read more about public restrooms here. Read the rest of this entry »
Here’s a little tidbit for you noodads out there: you shouldn’t give your babies water. That’s right, you should not give your baby any water. Even though water is suppose to be good for you and you are suppose to drink like 3 gallons of it a day, it ain’t good for the little dude or dudette. Here’s why:
If you give a newborn or infant water, they could be at risk for brain swelling and even seizures. This is because the brains and kidneys of newborns and infants do not know how to handle it causing chemical abnormalities in their bloodstreams. Read the rest of this entry »
You’re probably one of those guys who says tells your buddies you can’t go out tomorrow night because you have to “babysit.” For you, spending time with your kids is time spent “watching” your kids. That’s why you’re the douchbag at the indoor playspace sitting at the perimeter emailing on your Blackberry or having an hour-long conversation rather than spending time playing with your kid.
If you looked up from your “crackberry” (or even worse, your laptop!), you’d notice (maybe) that your kid is roaming the room looking for a surrogate dad to interact with him. My son and I are glad to let him play with us at the Thomas the Tank table but after 15 minutes of no parental involvement, I’m searching the room for someone - you - who looks like our new “friend.” And if I could identify you, we’d have words. I would sure as hell want to know who my child was interacting with…even within the relative safety of our little parent co-op. Read the rest of this entry »
Your kids are psyched. They just got off the high of Christmas gifts and they are anxiously awaiting the visit from another mythical creature: that human size rabbit that walks with 2 legs and deliver baskets stuffed with candy. It’s Easter time and for most people, Easter means decorating eggs. But nothing can bring your kids down like a crappy easter egg decorating session. You need to know how to cook easter eggs the right way every time. Follow these steps and you will get perfect eggs that are ripe for decorating, easy to peel, and perfect for making you some egg salad sandwiches.
Step 1: Old Eggs
Now, I am not talking wicked old eggs that reek like old men at the public baths, but I am not talking about farm fresh that is still warm; just popped out of the hen. Perfect eggs are ones that are 5 or so days old because when you boil them, they are easy to peel. Read the rest of this entry »
Pre-kids, Home Depot (or Lowe’s) was likely a store that if you couldn’t happily lose yourself in it for a whole afternoon, it was at least good for an hour of mild entertainment easy. Chances are that when you do go there these days, your trips are decidedly more abbreviated and surgical. For me, it’s painful. The thought of not being able to browse sucks…but there are things to be done and kids at home to attend to.
One Saturday a few months back, I woke up with the notion of trying an experiment. My wife was going to be heading out for her Saturday morning yoga class, I’d be home with my son and I needed a few things for a project I’d started the weekend prior but never finished. So my son and I would go to The Depot together. I know! Earth-shattering concept.
I thought, he’s my kid after all - perhaps he’d find that environment as interesting as me. And I was confident that with a little forethought and some improvisation (AND a cup of coffee picked up on the way), despite the early hour, I could make it a fun experience for both of us.
A couple of years ago, I wrote an article entitled, “The Top 10 Myths of Fatherhood: Debunked.” In it, I wrote, “You may be contemplating fatherhood and are scared to make the decision. Or you may have a kid on the way and are worried your life is over. If you watch television or movies you will have a very twisted idea of what fatherhood is. And just because your friends might go through hell, and can’t stop talking to you about it, it does not mean you should take it as fact. Listen to the truth my friend, and then decide whether you want to join me in fatherhood. You will see, that you can’t believe everything you see on TV.”
Well, maybe you have taken the plunge and you have one or two or maybe even three kids now. Surely, there is very little debate: kids change your life. And although I wouldn’t trade in my little ones for anything, there are a few things that I really miss. I hope that by reading this, you will know that you aren’t alone in missing the great things about not having kids. So here it is: the 10 things I miss about not having kids. Read the rest of this entry »
The ReviewDad clan was on the move today… We headed down to the in-law’s place in Southwest Florida. We’re here and we’re happy. It’s 9pm. We have all of our luggage. My son is in bed and I’ve got a glass of wine in hand. I’m in a good place and I’m ripe for reflection on the day and this stage of my life.
Being a dad these days is more than fertilizing an egg or signing an adoption paper. Gone are the days when you come home from a hard day’s work, eat a fully prepared meal and then go to the den to drink some cognac smoking cigars letting the missus take care of your clan. We are road-tested, poop stains and all. We get our hands dirty! We get our nuts crushed! We get our shirts stained!
Here’s a little tidbit for you noodads out there: you shouldn’t give your babies water. That’s right, you should not give your baby any water. Even though water is suppose to be good for you and you are suppose to drink like 3 gallons of it a day, it ain’t good for the little dude or dudette. Here’s why:
Your kids are psyched. They just got off the high of Christmas gifts and they are anxiously awaiting the visit from another mythical creature: that human size rabbit that walks with 2 legs and deliver baskets stuffed with candy. It’s Easter time and for most people, Easter means decorating eggs. But nothing can bring your kids down like a crappy easter egg decorating session. You need to know how to cook easter eggs the right way every time. Follow these steps and you will get perfect eggs that are ripe for decorating, easy to peel, and perfect for making you some egg salad sandwiches.
A couple of years ago, I wrote an article entitled, “
