Dr. Sears Thinks Dads Are Clueless

I read a very troubling article the other day, written by the esteemed Dr. William Sears, M.D. The article, titled, “The Daddy-Baby Connection: Everyday Ways to Help Them Bond” is the perfect example of why Foodad and I started Noodad.com . In it, Dr. Sears gives great advice to new moms and in the process paints the picture of a clueless, powerless, bumbling new dad who is basically a sad sac.

There may be those types of guys out there, but there is a difference between being clueless, and being a total loser. If you are a dad reading this, you may conclude that, according to Dr. Sears, your wife knows everything and you don’t know $#!t. So let me bring some reality into this situation.

From the article: “There’s no need for you to hover around your husband at all times, ready to rescue your baby if she gets fussy in his arms. It may be tempting, especially if he isn’t up to speed (or doesn’t think he is). But if you fall into this pattern, you’re likely to erode his self-confidence, and your baby won’t get used to being comforted by him — which will leave you without a moment’s peace.”

{mosnooad}The reality: Sure, your wife may hover but who cares? Hopefully something as small as a crying baby is not going to erode your “self-confidence”. Most likely, your wife will be going through this for the first time as well so why should you get discouraged? Hell, get discouraged together. And the reason you should want to hold your kid is not because you want to just give your wife a “moment’s peace.”

From the article: “Encourage your partner to view diaper changing as fun time with the baby rather than simply a messy chore. But take it from me: You’ll have more success with this if you don’t scold him for doing it “wrong.” There may be a few messes at first, but in no time he’ll get it right.”

The Reality: Once again, I find it interesting how it is assumed your wife won’t get things wrong at first too. It’s poop, guys. If you needed to take one person into any type of poop challenge who would it be? I guarantee, if you were smart, it would be a guy cause everyone knows a guy has more personal experience with poop than a woman does. And if you aren’t a boy, you are a man (an anchorman!) so the idea of being “scolded” is degrading.

Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Sears does offer some helpful tips for how to bond with your kid. And not every guy is as good of a dad as you or I. Don’t get discouraged by articles that typecast you, the dad, as being an idiot who has no interest in your kid.

Good luck noodads.