“My First Spider-Man” Will Mess You Up

Meet “My First Spider-Man”, Playskool’s gateway super hero action figure for the toddler set.  Press the black spider in the center of his torso, and Spider-Man’s eyes light up as he enthusiastically shouts different messages such as: “Ready to be a super hero!”,  “Target practice time!”, and, of course, “I’m your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!”  He’s got an oversized head, hands, and feet for easy handling by your toddler.  Perhaps the coolest selling point is the web blaster feature.  Two white plastic webs slide into holes in Spidey’s wrists, and there’s a button on his back that launches them when pressed.  The danger in this toy isn’t from the force at which the webs launch (they pack about as much a punch as Ron Jeremy after take six), but rather from where the webs are left around the house once your kid has completed a round of crime-fighting with Spider-Man.

As the picture shows, the web typically lands face down.  That leaves the plastic stem that inserts into Spidey’s wrists face up in the unfriendly neighborhood of a 45° angle, waiting for an unsuspecting law-abiding inhabitant of your home to either step on it or fall on it.  I’ve stepped on a lot of toys in my day, and this is right up there on the pain-causing chart.

Granted, the webs are pretty big and white in color, so you should be able to avoid them most of the time.  My main problem is that the design basically turns them into those angled spikes that Hertz and Enterprise use in their rental lots to blow out the tires if someone tries to make off with a Ford Taurus.  If you have Playskool’s My First Spider-Man in your home, just make sure the webs go safely back into Spidey’s wrists after playing.  You could just save yourself a trip to the emergency room.