The Revenge of the Foreskin
Posted on 02 11, 2008 under Current Events, Doodads by wahoodad | Comments
In a past Master Debaters article we asked noodad.com readers to give their opinions on circumcisions for their sons. Whether you’re a lawsuit-filing Intactivist bent on trimming circumcision from the litany of routine procedures for newborns, or you celebrate the cut like new mom and pop diva Christina Aguilera, the decision to circumcise (or not) is highly contentious. Don’t stress about the issue too much, though, because your decision to circumcise your son isn’t necessarily the last word on his foreskin.
Through a process called restoration, your son can go from Trimmed Tim to Rumpleforeskin if he so chooses later in life. And, thanks to a number of enterprising medical supply companies, he can restore himself to his natural state in the privacy of his own pants. One example of these home restoration products is called MySkinClamp [Not for the weak stomached -Ed.] and comes from Down Under. While it looks like a medieval torture device, for guys who want their foreskins back, MySkinClamp could join the ranks of such fabled Aussie imports as Fosters oil cans, Men at Work, and Steve “The Crocodile Hunter” Irwin.
According to the manufacturer’s website (complete with both photographic and video instructions), MySkinClamp works by gradually stretching the shaft skin over the glans. The device is a series of three nesting spring-loaded cones mounted on a surgical grade stainless steel rod, and it includes a convenient leg strap. Restoration with MySkinClamp doesn’t occur overnight. The user has to wear the device for a few hours a day for about two years to achieve a full dermal turtleneck. The sweet rewards touted at the end of the skin-stretching rainbow include heightened sensitivity, elimination of expensive performance enhancing drugs, and a psychologically better feeling knowing that you’re intact.
If you have your son circumcised you can feel a little bit better about the decision to do so knowing that a remedy is available. If your son someday gives you grief about the circumcision you can always supply him with a MySkinClamp to re-stretch his Armstrong. Throw one in his stocking for a Christmas he’ll never forget.
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