Why Parenthood and Owning an iPhone Is Not A Good Idea

Posted on 07 18, 2009 under Doodads, Technology by Noodad | Comments

img131As some of you loyal Noodad readers know, I am also the Chief Blogger and Editor-in-Chief of iPhoneMatters.com . But even though I have been consumed by lust of this $600 device, owning it has not been the easiest thing in the world. The reason is simple: I may be a Apple fanboy and gadget lover, but the reality is I am also the father of three kids (2 toddlers and 1 baby).

This means that I have up to 6 miniature hands just waiting to rub snot, dirt, and god knows what else onto my new toy. That is why, as I have promised to all of you in the past, I will continue to deliver you with tips on fatherhood like this. Why Parenthood and iPhones Do Not Mix.

The Irresistible Multi-Touch Issue
I have seen grown men tear up when they see how amazing and intuitive the iPhone’s multi-touch navigation is. And the rumors are true: a 2 year old can figure out how to navigate things. My 2 year old son was enlarging, rotating, and shuffling through pictures just by watching me do it once. And that is the issue. Because I can’t take the damn thing out anymore to check voicemail, read email or surf the web without my son begging to play with pictures.

Verdict: Great feature. Intuitive handling. Production killer.

{mosnooad}The Toilet Issue
It is a fact: Kids+Phone=Toilet. It is a crisis no matter what type of phone you have. But at least when Junior drops your ghetto phone into the potty, you can laugh about it later. Now imagine when your little angel drops your $600 phone into the crapper. Not funny. Ever.

Verdict: It’s inevitable. make sure the inevitability happens to your crappy Nokia not your beloved iPhone.

The Diaper Bag Issue
You may sport the stylish and never-nerdy phone holster around your waist during the work week, but you need a more baby-friendly option for the weekends. Smartphones like Blackberrys and Treos just don’t fit in your weekend spandex shorts so what do you do when you head on out with the kiddos? You throw them in the diaper bag of course. That is, until you got the iPhone. I have tested numerous soft and hard cases for the iPhone and there is not one that I would use to feel safe when I threw it in the diaper bag. The reason is simple: these cases may be shock resistant. They may even be water resistant. But they aren’t resistant to your kid picking it up throwing it out of the bag to find their sippy cup and the other kid accidentally stepping on it before it gets shoved back in next to a crap-soaked diaper.

Verdict: iPhone in the diaper bag? Yeah, not so much. I’ll stick with the nerd-holster.

The Camera Issue
The camera functionality is cool on the iPhone. You can take nice widescreen shots and when you push the button, it makes a shutter noise to compliment the shutter animation on the screen. But it doesn’t do video clips and you can’t send more than one image at a time. Not so great for even the casual non-parent user. Absolutely painful for the parent who wants to capture many moments and then email it all to family and friends.

Verdict: If you want to fulfill your parenting responsibility, you will need to carry an extra camera anyway.

The “Did I Mention the Price” Issue
The iPhone is great. But it’s $600 not including the service. To put that in perspective, that is like 3,257 diapers. Am I am talking premium Pampers Swaddlers in the Economy Plus Pack. So now you need to ask yourself, if you brought your kid to a fine china and crystal store, would you let them touch the pretty vase? I didn’t think so.

If you are like me, you wouldn’t let your kid touch things in the dollar store, let alone your $600 iPhone.

Verdict: Too expensive for little hands.

There you have it noodads. All the reasons why parenthood and iPhones do not mix. Good luck.

Related Posts

Viewing 9 Comments

 

Trackbacks

(Trackback URL)

close Reblog this comment
Powered by Disqus · Learn more
blog comments powered by Disqus