Make Mother’s Day Once a Week (At Least)
Posted on 04 10, 2006 under Her by Noodad |
So you messed up. It"s inevitable: no matter how hard you try to keep up the pace you simply cannot be a superstar dad, husband, and employee all the time. Eventually you are going to slip up in one of the areas. For me, every time I slip, it is always screwing up with being a superstar husband.
If I try to Monday morning quarterback it I would say that it is because subconsciously I know that I can"t afford to not be top notch at work. I"ll get fired. I can"t afford to not be SuperDad. Or my kids will punish me the rest of my life with claims of neglect and psychological trauma from an absent dad. For some reason I consider being a good husband to be important…only 3rd important.
I"m here to tell you that I"ve sort of gotten it wrong, fellas. You need to represent all 3 equally. Sometimes you may even need to make some sacrifices to give your wife the needed attention she deserves. My wife puts up with me because she loves me. But that doesn"t mean I can abuse that "till death do us part" vow. So it is important that you remember your wife and her needs too.
They say that the top 2 things that cause disagreement in marriages are money and sex. Once you have kids, those two things get kicked up a notch. You use to have money left over every month once your bills were paid. With kids, that money is gone. You used to have an adequate amount of action. With kids, you will have less.
I am incredibly fortunate that I have a wife that stays home all day with the kids and she finds tremendous fulfillment doing it. But even if your wife works all day at a different job, the story is still the same when you get home. You have kids who have needs and demands, and a wife who is tired from working all day…just as tired as you are.
Your wife deserves more than just one Mother"s Day. Don"t save "Treat Your Wife Extra Special Day" for only once a year. Here are some tips to help her out. (They are painfully obvious but until we all remember to do them more often, we need to talk about it)
• Take the Kids Out (on your own)- Your kids will not care where. Just as long as you make it seem special and time just with Dad. I try to take my kids out with me to the grocery store or out for other errands. You wife will appreciate the alone time.
• Babysit Your Kids- Force your wife to go out with her girlfriends. Let her take the time to dress up and go out and not worry about any kids.
• Take A Break From Work- Sometimes just some time together doing mindless things is better than you going from working at work to working at home. Dude, you got to represent at the workplace but sometimes you need to push that stuff to the side and work on actionable items with your wife.
Pull a Mark Sandman and Treat Her Right. She deserves it.
Good luck Noodads.
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Another way of thinking of balance is this, there are three relationships you need to manage once you have a family. One is the one between you and your spouse, the other is between you and your kids, and the other is your relationship with yourself. All need space. All need time.
As for the work life balance thing that is a topic for another conversation....
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Don\'t take her for granted in whole or part. Don\'t assume, communicate. With all the new adjustments that go along with building a family you often find yourselves going in different directions to get everything done. It only gets more hectic as the kids get older. Don\'t forget to meet in the middle every now and again. Show her the man she married everyday and not just the noodad of her children.
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