Don’t Be That Guy. Be a Real Dad

It
takes dedication and concentration to not be "that" guy.You know "that"
guy: the one you see in public exhibiting parental stupidity and you
just shake your head in dropjaw amazement. The type of guy that gives
the rest of us dads a bad name.

Parenting is a full time job fellas. It is easy to slack off. I'm just
as guilty of it. In order to save you from being "that" guy, I present
you a list of common "that guy" offenses. Sometimes it is easy to
forget you are a responsible dad and you need a big, swift, kick in the
arse to stay on track. Consider this a literary manifestation of a size
12 steel toe doc marten.

The Road Rager

This is a jagoff who, with
kids strapped into their carseats, drives his station wagon like a
friggin madman because someone may have cut him off, not let him in, or
looked at his wife funny. Road rage is for backwards cap wearing,
single guys at best. A real dad realizes, it just ain't worth it.

The Public Humiliator

This
is a punk who belittles or yells at his wife in front of his kids in
public. You know the one: the one that screams at the top of his lungs
about something stupid and then walks away in a huff. A real dad
realizes airing out dirty laundry in public is bad. Airing it out in
front of your kids is worse.

The Playground Enabler

This
is a jerk who sits back and watches his kid terrorize the playground
and doesn't do a thing. Kids bully other kids. Sometimes the initial
bullying is of no fault to the kid—just a result of a kid being bigger,
or older. But a dad who sits back and doesn't correct this behavior is
the type of dad that will raise a bully. A real dad hits the problem
head on and doesn't think his kid can do no wrong.

The Party Pawning-Offer

This is the dude that when
attending a party with his wife and kids, pawns off the kid to his wife
and ditches all parental duties to his wife. A real dad understands
parties with kids means a transition from
burger-in-one-hand-beer-in-the-other to
beer-in-one-hand-kid-in-the-other.

The Overcommitted Deserter

This
is the loser who books his social life so that he can avoid parenting
duties after work. A real dad knows that fatherhood means spending
quality time every day: not just on weekends. One who doesn't realize
that is setting himself up for only seeing their kid every other
weekend (per a court order)

The Oblivious Kidwatcher

This is the guy whose definition
of "watching the kids" means letting them play while he surfs pr0n or
watches the game. It is good for kids to learn how to entertain
themselves, but a real dad knows how to take advantage of the time they
have with their kids.

Noodads, no one is perfect. God knows, I'm
not. And even though I am guilty of a couple of things, I strive to fix
it. You should too.