One Way to Change a Diaper

Posted on 05 01, 2006 under The Manual by Noodad |

There are many different techniques to properly changing a diaper. Noodads need to figure out the method that works best for them and their baby. If you are looking for a fool proof guide to changing diapers keep this thing in mind. As long as all items in the following checklist are satisfied, you are successful:
• There is no poodad left on the kid
• There is no poodad on the kid"s clothes
• There is no poodad on the changing table
• There is no poodad on you

 

Here is the method I use when changing diapers. I have kidnapped my daughter"s American Doll, Marisol, and have used her for demonstration. I hope that you Noodads-to-be can take what you need, chew it up a little, and make it your own.

Step 1: Confirm the Need
You must first confirm that your kid does indeed need a diaper change. The most common confirmation method is smell and touch. If it feels like your kid is smuggling a bag of rocks in his backside, that"s a sure-fire clue. If he or she smells like your frat brother after he fell asleep and poodadded in his shorts, then guess what…your kid did the same thing.

You may also see the evidence that your kid needs a changing. If this is the case, you obviously missed the other warning signs. (See Knowing the Poodad Face for further instruction)

Finally, this necessity may be simply because your kid is crying or that you are about to go for a long car ride, etc.

Step 2: Find the Changing Area
You may have a changing table. You may also just use a table or the floor. When our kids were newborns, we used a changing table but as they got older, they became more squirmy and a changing table was too dangerous. Now I do all changes on the floor.

You will need to find an areas that is both comfortable for your kid and will not be the end of the world if it gets dirty. Keep in mind, there will be times when you won"t be at home. I have changed diapers in the trunk of the car, the front seat of the car, on the floor of the airplane, on my lap, and at the Oakland Coliseum men"s room. It is imperative that you bring a changing mat (usually included with diaper bag purchases).

You will need a new diaper, wipes, vaseline, and a changing mat (Fig. 1). The area should be devoid of sharp objects, deep water, fire, brimstone, and pets. Choosing the proper changing area can be the difference between a success, and having your kids pop leaving track marks all around your house.

A note on changing table straps: Both my kids did not take well to these straps. At first, your newborn will not be able to roll so straps really aren"t necessary. But as they get older they will flail their arms and legs like that girl in the beginning of Jaws.


Step 3: Start Unwrapping
Lay your kid down, on their back, with their head on the left side and their feet on the right side. I choose this orientation because my right hand is dominant. If you are a lefty, switch it around.

Place your non-dominant hand, open palmed, on your kid"s chest (Fig. 2). Depending on their age this can be described as stabilizing your kid or pinning your kid down.

With your dominant hand, start undoing all clothes from the waist down. This can sometimes include shoes, socks, pants, shorts, and onesies. The following part to this step is essential: open up the clean diaper, squirt vaseline or balmex, etc into it and place it open next to your poopy kid. Do this before you remove the dirty diaper! Failure to follow the last 2 moves in order can result in disaster.

Step 4: The Initial Pass
You need to remember that as you are trying to clean them, your bronco will be  buckin". The only thing you can do is pull a Luke Perry and try to last at least 8 seconds. Open up the diaper (Fig. 3) and use the inside front of the diaper to do a first pass wipe (Fig. 4). This typically takes care of up to 30% of the mess.* Then fold the diaper down  and place their butt on top of the outside of the diaper (Fig. 5).

Step 5: The Grip
It is unacceptable to expect your kid to do the Crab yoga maneuver. Therefore, you need to lift them up so you can get way down under. Because you need one hand to wipe, that only leaves one hand to lift up. Lock both ankles in one hand as if you are carrying 2 beer bottles and lift up (Fig. 6 and 7). I usually lift my kids up to the middle of their back. This is tricky as you need to hold tight enough to not lose a grip and not too tight as to hurt their ankles.

Step 6: The Full Clean
While lifting up your kid by the ankles, take another wipe and wipe from front to back. Again, (This is very important) wipe from front to back. Especially if you have a little girl, it is extremely important that you wipe front to back. Continue to wipe, using plenty of wipes, until everything is clean. Do not try and skimp on the wipes! This isn"t some sponge that you can wipe something down with, flip it over, and wipe again. This is some hardcore poop we"re talking about. You need every wipe at 100% potency.

Special note: Little babies tend to have significant thigh fat rolls. Make sure, you spread that skin and clean between the rolls.

Step 7: The Change of Diaper
Once everything has been thoroughly cleaned, you must now put on the new diaper. Once again, lift your kid up and slide the new, clean diaper under them (Fig. 8). This should be positioned centered and so the top of the diaper is around their waist. Use the outside of the diaper to rub the vaseline in and around the anal area.  Despite what you"ve seen or what people tell you, there is absolutely no need to get your hands dirty with vaseline. Everything can be done from the outside.

Fold the front of the diaper up and attach the velcro straps (Fig. 9). Make sure the straps are even. If you are a Pampers guy like me, use Elmo as a guide. Hint: The left velcro should be the same distance from Elmo as the right strap.

*

Step 8: Redress and Disposal
Now that the new diaper is on, you must put all the clothes back on. Wrap up the dirty diaper and throw it out. You"re done!

At first, this will take you some time. But after a few hundred times, you will get this process down to under 3 minutes every time.

Good luck Noodads.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Results may vary

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