Overcommitted Kids: The Problem Could Be You

Kids these days have better social lives than their parents. And parents have an appetite for al types of events and classes. With demand, comes supply. There are more options for kids these days than ever before. But when does a full schedule become an overcommitted one? My feeling is if you have a tough time answering this question, then your kid is overcommitted. And worse, you are probably the problem. So what causes this overbooking?

One reason could be the increasing importance of a college education to the financial viability in this world. Colleges are looking for smart, well-rounded kids. Parents are trying every thing possible to gain an edge for their kids. This starts as early as newborn and leads all the way through high school. I”m talking sports, music, religious activities, charity work, and tutoring. All these activities take up time and have their own schedules. No wonder, you are exhausted at the end of the day. Now imagine how your kids feel.

Another reason could be the dangers that lurk outside these days. You can”t trust your next door neighbor anymore. They could be child molesters and worse. Gone are the days when you send your 5 year old outside to play in the yard and you don”t see them again until dinner time. And even when you can trust the people, you can”t trust the bugs or the sun. With rampant Lyme Disease, Triple E, and West Nile scares all over the country, you almost feel the need to start blowing up a plastic bubble in the living room. It”s no wonder you want something planned, structured and indoors.

The final reason to overcommitting your kids could be that you, yourself, need some social interaction. Planned playgroups and get togethers can offer your kids new playmates and you some adult interaction. But be cautious when you are planning things with parents where the only thing you like about them is that they have the same available block of time as you during the week.

All three of these reasons are legitimate. But, like most everything else, there needs to be moderation. It is ok to have activities for your kids. But your kids needs personal time with you, and you alone, every once in a while. The time you spend with them carting them around to and from Gymboree or ballet or art class or swimming or cub scouts does not count.

It is important to make sure you are not using activities as babysitters. It can be very easy to get you through the day or the weekend by overbooking your kid. But that is time other people have with your kid. The last thing you will want is a burnt out kid who can”t entertain themselves with a book or a puzzle or a parent that feels like a chauffeur. Don”t hide behind the notion that you are helping them become well-rounded. One or two activities a season is well-rounded. Anything more than that is overcommitted.

Are your kids overcommitted?