Perfect Pigtails Every Time: A Step-by-Step Guide

Posted on 08 22, 2006 under The Manual by Noodad |

If
you are like me, and you have a daughter, one day you may be faced with
the difficult task of doing her hair. I happen to find this whole idea
troubling and intensely frustrating. I rationalize the reason is
because I am a guy who has had short hair his entire life and has never
even used a comb. Ever. (In case you are interested, I personally feel
that asian dudes with long hair look weird.) I simply do not possess
the dexterity or the patience to accomplish this task. My wife thinks
different. She says that I need to add this skill to my list.

In my household, there is a strange miscommunication between my wife
and I on what "doing her hair" means. If you were to ask my wife, she
would tell you that "doing my daughter's hair" means the following
things:

 

1. Brush the hair over and over again seemingly forever working out all the knots.

2.
Separate the hair evenly down the middle (Without using a ruler). If it
is the slightest bit off, it is redone until it is perfect.

3. Apply rubber band to each clump of hair and wrap elastic band around 50 times.

4. Double check its absolute perfectness and then have my daughter look at her straight on to make sure there's no stragglers.

I would tell you "doing my daughter's hair" means:

1. Proclaiming the painful grimaces my daughter makes when her hair is brushed is an act of child abuse.

2. Push the hair out of her eyes and put on Red Sox cap.

This sequence of events used to lead to dissatisfaction from my wife
and indifference from my daughter. But my wife has probably been
talking smack to my kid about my mad hair skillz every morning because
now my daughter complains about my level of finish.

To save you some humiliation and inevitable hassle, I am pleased to present to you  Noodad's Guide to Perfect Pigtails.

Because my daughter no longer wants me near her hair (she's 4 but
strong-willed), I have decided to have my wife demonstrate on Marisol,
my daughter's American Girl doll. You faithful readers of noodad.com may
remember her from my diaper changing tutorial .

 

STEP 1: Brush the Hair
Brush. Brush. Then brush some more. The key is to brush the hair until
the brush runs through it all the way without getting caught. With
prickly brushes or combs, be careful not to scratch her skin or catch
the top of her ears. That's a scream you do not want to experience.

 

 

 

STEP 2: Be careful of Knots
If you were to encounter knots in her hair, do not try to just brush
through it with brute force. Sometimes, that will lead to missing hair
and then incontrollable sobbing for an undetermined amount of time.
Work through the knots carefully. Sometimes, you may want to brush it
from the bottom up, to break apart the knots.

 

 

 

STEP 3: Parting the Hair
Stand behind and use a comb to split the hair down the middle. You
won't have the time or patience from your daughter to break out the
laser level and ruler. You are going to have to eye it. Run the comb
down the middle and then push the right side of the hair to the right,
and then the left side of the hair to the left.

 

 

 

STEP 4: Preparing the Elastics
A couple of rules to start. Do not try to reuse the cheap plastic
elastics. They are not good for more than one use. Try your best to
match the colors. (Or maybe my wife is just particular) Take the first
elastic and wrap it around your right thumb and forefinger.

 

 

STEP 5: Applying the Elastics
This is where it gets tricky. While standing behind her, you need to
comb the right hand side of hair backwards at a 45 degree angle. Then
you need to grab onto that hair, first with your right hand (The one
with the elastic) then transfer it to the left hand. Then with the taut
clump of hair in the left hand, slide the elastic around and move it as
close to the scalp as possible. DO NOT LET GO OF THE HAIR! That is very
important. Now you must twist the elastic while snaking the hair
through the middle. Repeat until you run out of elastic.

 

STEP 6: Repeat Step 5
Once you have the first one nailed, get started on the other side. Repeat the process of step 5 and voila! it's done.

 

 

Noodads, now you have seen the pictures and read the process from a
master of pigtail making. No doubt, the chick in your house is just as
skilled. Now it is time for you and I to overcome our fear, take what
we have learned, and try it out on our little girls. Good luck.