The Finger Sweep

At one point in your life, you will need to perform the finger sweep. No, this isn”t a sexual maneuver. Or if it is, that isn”t the finger sweep I”m talking about. I”m talking the finger sweep that involves a finger, your kid”s mouth, and some “possible” foreign choking object. I say “possible” because sometimes it is a false alarm. Thus the need for the finger sweep.Say you happen to glance at your son after he takes his hand away from his mouth and you see a piece of carpet sticking out his mouth. That”s finger sweep time. Or maybe your daughter decides to cram 4 pieces of pepperoni in her mouth and gags herself (true story BTW) that”s finger sweep time. Here”s what you need to know when you perform the sweep.

Step One: As soon as you see a suspected foreign object entering or in the mouth, or you see a gag reflex taking place, you must spring into action like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.

Step Two: Insert one finger (forefinger is desirable for its ideal mix of length and dexterity) into your child”s mouth. Word of advice, if you happened to be eating 5-Alarm Buffalo Wings with that forefinger, use your other finger. It will be better to sacrifice some dexterity if it means not burning your kids mouth.

Step Three: Tilt the head forward. You don”t want whatever is in there to have gravity on its side.

Step Four: Fish around with your finger forcefully, but carefully. Don”t be surprised if this causes your child to gag more. Be careful not to poke too deep in the throat. You could push the offending agent down the throat. Also remember, sometimes the object is between the teeth and the cheek or stuck to the roof of the mouth.

Step Five: Be happy with whatever result. Don”t be pissed because it was a false alarm. A false alarm in this case is a happy ending. If it wasn”t a false alarm, you”ll be happy too.

You will be shocked that all those steps only took 5 seconds! Don”t worry. Adrenaline will kick in when you need it.

Good job Noodad.