The Great Noodad Halloween Checklist

It's that time of year again. The time to carve some pumpkins, rot your teeth, and scare the bejeesus out of the neighborhood kids. But, the most important part of Halloween season is how you enjoy it with your kids.

If you are like me, all your childhood memories of Halloween are all garbled together into a huge gobstopper of memories. Wouldn't you want the best for your kids? That's why I have created the Great Noodad Halloween Checklist for dads new or old. This checklist will ensure you covered all your bases and you make 2007 the best Halloween ever.

1. Ditch Work Early
Halloween is not like promising your kid you will take them to go get ice cream. If you don't do it on the designated night, your  and your kids are SOOL. Do everyone a favor and leave work early that day. Go in early if you need to make up the hours. You don't want to miss anything.

2. Buy Good Candy
I talked about this in an article last Halloween too. Don't get pegged as the house that gives out apples or pennies. I'm not saying you have to be the dude that gives out full candy bars or baseball cards (those guys always make me think they are child molesters). But don't skimp on the Hershey's kisses or Mary Janes either. Buy decent candy so your kids can save face at the bus stop on November 1.

{mosnooad}3. Let Them Choose the Costume
If your kid is old enough to tell you what they want to be, they are old enough to get what they want. One of the worst things you can do is impose your own idea of what a cool costume is on your kid. My daughter this year is Elina, the Barbie character from Fairytopia. No doubt, the majority of people in my neighborhood won't know who the hell Elina is, but it sure does make my daughter feel happy. And hey, the people down the street give you candy whether they recognize who you are or not.

4. Illumination and Reflection Are Key
It gets dark out there in October! Make sure cars and other people can see you and the kids. Every kid that can hold one, should carry a flashlight. Refelctive gear is good as well as long as you don't strap a construction safety vest over their beautiful costume.

5. Bring Your Wife…
…or go with her. Don't divide up and have one person man the door. Just leave the candy outside the door and both of you should experience Halloween together.

6. Bring An Extra Candy Bag
Your kids are going to get tons of candy shoved into their tiny candy bags all night. Bring a giant candy sack (read: pillowcase) with you for them to dump candy into after every house. That way your kids aren't spilling candy walking up to the front door of every house. Plus, this will give you a centralized location for you to sort and check from at the end of the night.

7. Remember Peanuts
Whether you know it or not, your kid may be allergic to nuts. And people (mostly old people that don't know any better) still give out Snickers, Almond Joys, etc. There is also the best Halloween candy in the world, the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup that you need to contend with.

8. Throw Out Ziplock Bags
People mean well…or maybe they don't when they give out loose candy, cookies, and other "homemade" items in ziplock bags. These could be a case of grandmotherly love or a case of rat poisoning. The truth is, you don't know and you shouldn't take a chance. Throw out any items that are not sealed in original packaging immediately.

9. Define the Candy Train Route in the Beginning
Avoid the "Just one more street" argument that will come towards the end of the route by clearly defining the candy route before you leave the house. Reinforce the upcoming end of the night as you get closer.

10. Let Your Kid Splurge on Halloween Night, Then Impose Rationing Law
It's Halloween. They are already wired. Let them eat more candy than you normally do that night. Then let them know, starting the next day, it is a specific ration.

11. Take Pictures
Document this night. You won't get it back. Make sure you take pictures before they leave the house. Frequently, the costumes don't come home in one piece. Kids step on them, they get torn, soaked, or muddy. If taking pictures while trick or treating, consider taking a tripod for the low light conditions.

12. Only Buy Candy You Would Eat
Because you may have a slow night and you don't want to be stuck with a bowl full of Twizzlers you want Reese's or Kit Kats.

13. Give Out Candy to Everyone That Answers the Door
If you decide to stay at home and pass out candy, give it out to any kid that rings the doorbell. Even if the kid is in high school and you think they are too old to be trick or treating, these high school kids are capable of egging your house or TPing your trees. Yeah, it's unspoken extortion but is it really worth it over a 10 cent piece of candy?

14. Leave All Your Lights On or All Off!
If you don't leave your lights on, that tells people you don't have any candy so don't bother coming up the path. If you do leave your lights on, it means, sugar goodness is waiting for you behind the door. But if you are in between (leaving a few lights on but not the front door light) it gets pretty darn confusing. Do yourself a favor, light up the neighborhood or go black as night to avoid confusion or potential embarrassment when you show up to your door in your wife's panties and a cigar in your mouth.

15. Take Down Your Decorations Before Thanksgiving
Don't be "that guy" who leaves up his decorations too long. It's over, man. Move on to the inflatable turkey. It is ok to take down the decorations as early as the next day but it is also acceptable to leave it up until the next weekend. Anytime after that says you are too damn lazy.

Follow this checklist, noodads, and you are on your way to the best Halloween ever. Good luck.