The Toy Minefield

This article was originally published in March 2006.

There's nothing like walking quietly downstairs in the middle of the night to get a drink and just when you think you have reached the fridge without making a peep, you step barefoot on a plastic Buzz Lightyear figurine. What do you do? In my case, you try to redirect your feeling of agony by pounding your fist on the counter and you inadvertently catapult a metal crayon canister to the floor . Crayons scatter and now instead of one problem (Buzz Lightyear of Star Command) lodged in your foot, you have 64 assorted Crayolas rolling all over the floor, finally coming to rest, perfectly evenly spaced, as if they were a marching band ready to do the halftime show.

I am quiet so that I don't wake up my sleeping kids. It's not like I'm sneaking downstairs to cheat on a diet, surf some porn, or swig my bottle of Jack hidden behind the cookbooks.  It's all for my kids: my precious angels that love to leave those miniature death traps on the floor after they are finished playing with them.

Keeping your kids' toys organized is a huge undertaking. And it is important to do, even if you don't wake up in the middle of the night and step on those little plastic mutilation devices. But if you follow these steps, you will spend less time picking Barbie shoes out of your heels and more time drinking that glass of OJ at 2:00 AM.

{mosnooad}BINS AND BUCKETS
The packaging of some of these toys are worth nothing. Invest on some plastic bins and buckets to throw toys into. Or better yet, re-use diaper wipe bins or diaper boxes. Most toys (especially dolls) come with a ton of accessories and little parts. By assigning bins for these, you will be able to quickly clean everything up. Your kids will be able to quickly find what they are looking for too. It is important for your kids to learn how to clean up their own stuff. Clearly label each bin with names or icons and teach your kids to clean up their own messes. I know it is easier said than done and typically in our house, I get fed up with the mess way sooner than my kids do. But assigning the task of helping clean up will give them something to feel proud of when they are finished.

Another bonus for assigning toy bins is you can shoot baskets from a fixed position in the room when cleaning up. Sort of like a 3-Point Shootout. I have nailed 22 Peekablocks in a row from 3 point land. Beat that ballers.

MAINTENANCE IS KEY
The biggest component in keeping your room clean is also the hardest to do. That is to maintain the cleaning while in play mode. When my daughter feeds me a plastic meal of corn on the cob and cookies from her 200 piece plastic toy set, I eat my meal, and then encourage her to join me in some pretend dishwashing. By the time she is finished playing, half the set is already put back in its place.

It sucks when you sit down to play a game and it is missing a piece. Then you spend time remembering all the places you played that game trying to narrow down the search party. Did we last play the Dora Memory Game in the playroom or in my daughter's room? Why is there only one Backpack? If you make sure all the pieces are back in the box before putting it away, you'll be good for the next time.

FLOOR IT
Spend some time on the floor once in a while. Your kids will enjoy the company and you will have a good view of any AWOL pieces lurking in the deep carpet. Your vacuum hose will thank you too. I can't tell you how many time I searched through the vacuum bag for that one single plastic piece. I felt like Chewbacca in the Cloud City recycling center, trying to find C3PO's left arm.

DO THE SHUFFLE
In low light situations, shuffle your feet across the room. That way instead of massacring your toes on a Little People Car, your shuffle technique will snowplow it to the side. Word of caution: if you have carpet and you are wearing socks, try not to touch any light switches or outlets. The last thing you want in the middle of the night is to short out your house with your finger while you are standing there in your BVDs. "Don't touch me, cuz I'm electric. And if you touch me, you'll get shocked."

PURGE
Purge the toys every once in a while to the trash or to Goodwill. I'm not saying throw out your kid's favorite toys. For every toy your kid enjoys there is probably a box full of crap your kid doesn't play with. For instance, your kid doesn't need 6 of the same McDonald's Furby toys. It can be argued, your kid doesn't need one. Nor does your kid need the cardboard cutouts from the back of the Kix cereal box or the stickers that they got from the dentist. Throw it out.

I have had moderate success purging the freebie toys and have had minimal success purging the hardly used toys. If you are getting resistance to the purging, try moving the lonely toys to another room, and out of sight for a while. Put a timer on it for a week. If in that week, your kid doesn't ask for it, chuck it. That's fair right?

Good luck Noodads.

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