Tough Love: How to Actually Do What You Say You’re Going to Do

So your kid is doing something he or she isn't supposed to do and you have given them a warning. They continue to do it and you discipline them. Right on! Good job. That's what a parent is supposed to do.

But what happens when there is more wiggle room to what you are asking your kid to do? What if you want your kid to take swim lessons but they won't jump in the pool? What if you know they need to eat a vegetable every meal but they keep on spitting it out? This is where we get into the territory called, "Tough Love."

Just to be clear, tough love is not talking about your former girlfriend with manly hands or the time you unknowingly met a dominatrix. Although you may get the same amount of physical bruises and psychological scars, believe me, this type of tough love is way worse.

Remember, you are the parent. And you do know best. So it's time you stop sitting on your thumbs and start growing a pair. It's time for you to walk with a little swagger. Here are some tips:

{mosnooad}Once You Commit, You Need to Follow Through
The worse thing you can do is go half-ass. After all, a half-ass is just a 2 legged donkey that walks in circles. Your kids are master manipulators. This is not a skill they learn, it is a skill they gradually perfect. If you throw down the gauntlet like, "Do this or that will happen," you will need to follow through or they will not take you seriously.

Don't Go Overboard, Buddy
Now you feel like you have the power of Greyskull. Use your power wisely. Don't push your kid and set goals that are simply unattainable. Small moves, Sparks. Think about what goal is appropriate to get your kid started down the right path. Need your kid to eat veggies? Don't make them eat a Green Giant's share of food. Start them off small and slowly up the ante.

Affirm, Don't Reward
This is the most important rule so pay close attention! When your kid does satisfy your request, do not reward them. Do not treat this like something they did above and beyond. This is something they are supposed to do. Doing so brings them back to ground level. Affirm what they did but whatever you do, do not reward them.

Why? Because if you reward them, your kid will decipher their completed task as being something they did simply for the prize, not the real reason. (like health, obedience, skill building)

Follow these steps noodads and leverage your authority. You might just have a decent kid after all. Good luck.