Using Santa To Manipulate Your Kids

For a fake person, Santa Claus is pretty darn powerful. It is amazing how a little holiday cheer and the suspension of disbelief can elevate a guy to 100% obedience stature. No, Santa isn't obese, he's jolly! Naw, Santa isn't a Peeping Tom, he needs to keep tabs on you to know whether you deserve his swag bag come December 25th!

Despite any cynicism you may now have as an adult about Santa Claus, if you celebrate Christmas, there will be a sweet little time between the ages of 3-8, when your kid will be at the mercy of the man with the belly full of jelly. So why not use that to your advantage? You are going to have to buy stuff for them and let Santa take all the credit anyways, why not get something back?

In my household, as the Christmas season approaches, so does my leverage. Until the big day, I am able to use the Golden Ticket of Obedience: I simply sing the lyrics to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and voila! the kid's room is clean! The Vegetables are eaten! The sibling rivalry curbed!

So, next time your kid starts giving you the attitude, don't bother with the "Time Out", or the "Naughty Step". Repeat after me (in song):

"He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows when you are bad or good so be good for goodness sake."

Good luck noodads.