When Your Kid Drops the F Bomb.
Posted on 11 30, 2006 under The Manual by foodad |
You and the family have just sat down to a home cooked meal. You both are battle scarred from long days at the office and or child care. Your 3 year old is presently giving you a recap on important days events like nursery school, gymboree, gymnastics and swimming lessons when she says: "Little F@ckers".
What should a noodad do?
1: Boil like a teapot and yell. Tell them that if you ever hear this
word come out of their mouth again, it will be the last word they ever
say. No this will cause a major scene and possibly scar the mark the
event in your kids mind. Some kids might even use it later just to rile
you up.
2: Open mouth insert soap. No. Does your kid really need to gain a
rich understanding for the various smells, textures and tastes of the
world's finest soaps? Then your kid is like Ralphie in A Chistmas Story who over the years developed a preference for Lux but found that found that Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness.
{mosnooad}
3: Continue the conversation. Expand the kid's vocabulary with a few
choice words of your own. Be sure to demonstrate the flexibility of the
word F@&$. HOSTICLE PHIPHER!! -Dad from A Christmas Story.
4: Ask here where she learned the word. Beat up the parent. If they are bigger than you and outside of walking distance, call them can question their morals and upbringing even though you say the word at least 20 times a day.
5 Ask her where she learned the word. Tell her that this is not a word we use. Move on to a new topic. I believe that this is the best option. If you make a huge deal out of it, then it is a huge deal.
This is a very simple example that can be complicated by a 2 year old sees the attention and joins in. The situation can be further exacerbated by the presence of and older child who knows better and starts in with the "AWWWWWWWWWWs" in anticipation of the impending doom of the three year old. Try not to make a big deal. Laugh about it with your wife later. We got a kick out of sayiing "Little F-Bombs" over and over.
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Its definately easier to teach while they are young to, rather than having to go through it after they start going to school, althoguh thats a different kettle of fish :)
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I emphasize context and audience with my four-year old. He knows that he can use whatever words he wants in front of me or my grandmother (her mouth is filthy too) but that he\'d better watch it on the playground.
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I was raised in a cuss-laden household and grew to appreciate that words are only words, and that they only have the power that we give them. I was also raised to respect that others around whom I might use those words would likely feel differently than I did, and to temper my mouth with common sense.
As a person and a parent, I regard home to be a free-word zone. However, although I may model cursing in the home, my children NEVER hear me swear at the grocery store, park, etc. It\'s a matter of etiquette that I take very seriously. We discuss the difference between \"at home\" and \"in public\" whenever it comes up, and I assure you, my four-year-old knows exactly what I\'m talking about.
My comment (though flippant in tone) was intended to suggest a sixth possibility for dealing with swear words out of the mouths of babes.
And, yes, he\'s my kid.
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I imagine most people are going to be extremely judgemental on this subject. Why would you even want to subject your family to this kind of thing? A four year old is going to slip or be unable to resist telling her friends that she is allowed to say flern, crunk and shazzle at home. This labels you and your family. People will draw conclusions that you do not care about your kids because you let this go. They are thinking, if she is willing to let this go, what else is she willing to let them do?
The other problem is that swearing is easy. I do it. I am not proud of it. It is a lot easier to say flern you than it is to come up with an intelligent retort. I think that there is a place for cursing. When people who do not usually curse go ahead and curse, you KNOW they are serious. The problem with overusing curse words is that it dillutes the meaning.
So I am going to critcize you on the basis that you are teaching your kid to take the easy way out. You are teaching him that it is ok to not show any self-restraint at home and you are teaching him that you do not need to be disciplined at home.
My suggestion is some vocabulary expansion for the entire family. I used to do this but I got away from it because I am learning Chinese. Try this site out. I like to get the word of the day in my email.
http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/
foodad
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I appreciate your criticism mostly because you call it that. Thank you for being so upfront.
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Please-it would be more impressive if children could learn a new word in place of a curse word.
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