When Your Kid Rats You Out
Posted on 03 13, 2006 under The Manual by gregoryng | View Comments
I got busted by my kid today. A little punk also known as my 3 1/2 year old daughter became a turncoat and ratted me out. What"s worse? Apparently my daughter is a reliable witness because my wife convicted me with no judge and no jury. Sentenced to a stern: "I told you so".
Although I admit some responsibility I feel I should be on an episode of InJustice. Here"s the scenario:
My son in an attempt to show up his dad in the veggie eating department was downing an avocado by the fistful. Coupled that with his new found desire to bang his head all day with his hands in a sort of ode to Todd Rundgren and how he doesn"t wanna go to work, meant that his face was as green as Bruce Banner on a bad night. There was avocado in his hair. Avocado in his ears. Avocado in his eyes.Anyways, as my daughter and I are sitting there my wife decides to proclaim that my son has avocado in his eyes! Not to be outdone in proclaiming her brother"s feat, my daughter exclaims, "He has avocado coming out his butt!"
There it was. The impending doom. I tried to glance over the subject with a, "Ha ha, that"s funny, where else is the avocado in his ears?" To which my daughter said, "No. His butt!" Of course this was followed up with an interrogation. A question from my wife of, "Who taught you that."
It was only a split second but that split second took an eternity. I swear I saw the sun rise and set, the leaves turn and fall, and then the guillotine dropped. My daughter exclaimed, "Daddy." A rush of disappointment and horror swept across my face. I think I may have even thrown up a little in my mouth.
For the record, yes, I have used that word. She has learned that word from me. But just because I didn"t teach her well enough about proper context doesn"t mean I should be held fully responsible right? Wrong.
It was my fault. Even though I thought it was pretty funny it was MY fault. The point is you need to watch what you say. And if you don"t, you need to bribe your kids better. But and there is a big but (pun intended) you need to take responsibility for your actions.
Good luck Noodads. And watch you mouth.
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