You Aren’t As Good As Mommy

Sorry to say it noodads, but sometimes, you just aren"t as good as mommy. In some situations, mommy is the only thing that will do. You might be inclined to think your wife has an edge over you because they have boobs. Or it might be the fact that mom"s tend to have a more nurturing effect. It usually is neither. Don"t fret! Normally, favoritism towards mommy is just an arbitrary decision to diss you because your number came up that day. You can"t fight it or try to teach against it. You must simply wait it out until your wife is on the chopping block, not you.

Sometimes your kids will diss you in favor of mommy for small things. Sometimes they are more significant. Last week, my daughter threw a monster fit for almost 10 minutes because I was putting her to bed, not mommy. Later she says to me, "You aren"t as good as mommy."

Those words sliced me up like a Miracle Blade through a ripe tomato. She filleted me with those words, then filleted the fillet. All that was left of me was a hollow carcass of a man, with only a distant memory of what it meant to be an appreciated father. "This is just a phase" I thought to myself in a desperate plea for an excuse. "She was just tired and moody." Then doubt started to come over me. "Maybe it was the reprimand I gave her for not sitting with both legs on the chair. Maybe she took that personally."

Fortunately, I did not spend the entire night slitting my wrists. She woke up an hour later to use the potty and all of a sudden I was a Higglytown Hero. "Thanks Daddy for helping me. I love you daddy, can you tuck me in?"

Kids will be kids and somedays you will be DiCaprio on the Titanic doing Kate Winslet (King of the world) and other days you will be Leo, freezing to death in the water. So when this happens to you, stay the course and chill. This mood will pass like an iceberg.

And don"t worry, sometimes, your wife is the one being struck by the iceberg. One day a few months ago, my daughter woke up and must have told herself, "It might be cool to totally diss mom today. After all, she has only been nice to me since I have been born and I"m just sick of her trying to teach me things and entertain me." After sitting on the potty she then added to her plan, "I know! I"ll throw tantrums all day, throw food during lunch, refuse to nap, and knock my brother down to the floor." She was a crazy lunatic that day to my wife and an angel to me when I got home from work.

Resist the urge to jump off a building or to call Dr. Phil. It"s ok for your kids to favor one parent or another for specific tasks but when it becomes verbal and hurtful, it should be addressed. My wife and I frequently have talks with our kids about how certain words can hurt people"s feelings. And like all successful parenting techniques, it"s all about consistency. Eventually they will comprehend.

Good luck noodads.