Your Kids Story is Nobodys Business
Posted on 08 29, 2009 under The Manual by foodad | Comments
Congratulations on your international adoption. You were successful with the paper chase, you
endured harsh Siberian winter-like wait and you added another member to your
family. As the noodad of an internationally adopted
child, you face similar challenges to a parent who gave birth to their
children.
There is one fundamental difference. You have a sacred duty that biological
parents do not. You are the messenger
and protector of important information about your child: Their story.
It is shock and awe for me each time a parent gives me low
grain details of their kid’s story. I do not care how well I know them, it
always burns my ears like the “C” word. “Think
McFly!” This is not the parents’ story to tell.
This your kid’s story and they should decide who gets to know it. I do not even endorse telling extended family
the story unless you are doing it in case something happens to you. If you want
me to be an official guardian of the story, that is fine. I am very trustworthy,
but the last thing you need is fat cousin Theo getting drunk and telling your
kid a secret that you did not think she was ready to hear yet. You thought she felt betrayed and angry when
you took her princess dress away when she kept getting out of her bed? That was
nothing in comparison.
{mosnooad}
Your kid should never be put in a position where they do not
feel that they have control over their story. Imagine if someone had nude pictures of you
and posted them on noodad.com or nudedad.com. At that point, you are no longer in control of
the situation and can not get it back. People
might even use it against you. While your kid has nothing to be ashamed of, people
can be cruel.
Even if you are a family member, be respectful and do not
ask prying questions. If someone starts telling
you too much detail, give them a little flack-and-static and tell them to
respect their kid’s privacy. A quick “whoa,
does she know that yet?” or a topic change will do. What is the matter with them anyway? They must
be noobs. If you do not feel like sacking-up and telling them off, refer them
to foodad. I will be happy to do it on their kid’s behalf.
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