How should you deal with a picky eater?

Posted on 04 20, 2007 under Master Debaters by wahoodad |

brussels3If you’ve ever swapped mealtime horror stories with other parents, you already know the tale of “The Kid Who Only Eats One Thing.”   Whether it is Kraft macaroni and cheese or PB&J with the crusts cut off, some kids just won’t try anything else.  Night after night you plate the same meal.  You don’t have to ask your kid what he wants, and he leaves the table with a full belly.  As long as he’s growing and passes all his check-ups with flying colors, what’s the big deal if your kid will eat chicken nuggets and applesauce until he grows feathers and craps Granny Smiths?   Besides, you haven’t attended any business dinners where a colleague asks to see the children’s menu, a sure sign that all kids eventually outgrow this behavior. 

Dealing with your picky eater is tolerable if you only eat at home, but what happens when your kid is at Grandma’s for the weekend and she tries to serve a knock-off mac-and-cheese in a generic blue box?  What if the principal of your kid’s elementary school informs you that PB&J is a no-go in his nut-free school?  Maybe you’d be better off implementing some 1950’s sitcom torture by not letting your one-trick-pony diner leave the table until he finishes his Brussels sprouts.  After all, as Timer used to say on that 1970’s Public Service Announcement, “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it!” 

There are pros and cons to both sides of the argument, so let’s hear ‘em.    Which brings us to this week's question:

Should you cater to your picky eater at mealtime, or force him to eat what’s being served?

This is the latest installment in our Master Debaters Question of the
Week Series. There are some topics that seem to fall into the consensus
category: drunk driving is bad, guns kill people, Transformers are better than GoBots
. But that only covers less than 1% of the decisions you and your
spouse make towards the upbringing of your kids. The majority of issues
tend to fall more in the gray area.

Here at Noodad.com, we take pride in delivering important advice for dads. But we realize that some of our advice is subjective. The collected readership surely has things to add and unique perspectives to contribute.

So where do you weigh in?

 

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Viewing 4 Comments

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    What exactly are the pro\'s to catering to a picky eater? Then tell me what cons are having your child eat a varied diet. I\'m giddy with anticipation.

    Just to lay it out, I don\'t \"torture\" my children with food. Funny what passes for torture these days. If gagging down a brussel sprout is the worst thing that happens to my child, then I will die a happy man. I do require my children to eat what is cooked for dinner. I do keep in mind their likes and dislikes but no more so than I do for my wife and myself. Everyone will have to eat something that is not their favorite at some point which includes me, the cook. The requirement is that you eat a portion. You don\'t have to heap it on or get seconds but you have to eat it.
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    1. It\'s very late when we write some of these articles, and at 1:00AM I forgot to take out the line in the article that reads \"There are pros and cons to both sides of the argument...\" To answer your questions anyway (as you are giddy with anticipation), the only pro to catering to a picky eater that I can think of is the elimination of daily mealtime battles with said picky eater. I see no cons to your child eating a varied diet.

    2. The term \"torture\" in paragraph two isn\'t meant in a literal sense, but rather as a tongue-in-cheek hyperbole to convey how some overdramatic children react when they are compelled by a parent to remain at a table until they eat what\'s in front of them, e.g. Ralphie\'s brother Randy in \"A Christmas Story\".
    Additionally, in the first paragraph, I didn\'t mean for readers to be confused by my description of what happens when a kid eats too many chicken nuggets and too much applesauce. Just to be clear, I\'ve neither seen a child grow feathers, nor have I witnessed whole Granny Smith apples in lieu of feces in a dirty diaper.

    3. You propose an excellent strategy for tackling this dilemma. It is both fair and rational, and I think it is a good example of how parents of a picky eater might get their kid to try more foods--especially if the grownups are sometimes eating things that aren\'t their favorite. Oftentimes the parents cook what THEY want and expect the kids to eat it without complaint. An extension of this strategy might be to alternate who chooses what\'s for dinner, as long as everyone agrees to eat what\'s served on the days someone other than them chooses.
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    I didn\'t mean for you to have to define the context of your comments, my sarcasm was directed at those who actually do think they are hurting their children. More likely doing what\'s easiest for them.

    I treat it as a behavior problem. It wasn\'t as much about eating as it was about who was in charge. That is not to say that you force everything down their throat, it not just about the food. It\'s teaching the difference between a request and a demand.

    Mine are teens now and around 10 or 11 I started teaching them to cook. The requirement is one night a week. They can prepare whatever they want as long as there is variety and they are making an effort to learn new things.
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    Our solution for our finicky 4.5 year old daughter was to implement the rule that at every meal she has to have a fruit or vegetable of her choice first. It also had to be a different fruit or vegetable for breakfast, lunch and dinner. She\'d honestly eat only applesauce at all three meals if we let her. Anyway, if she doesn\'t eat the serving of fruit of vegetable, she doesn\'t get anything else for the meal. Why have we gone to such lengths? Because if she skips even one meal\'s serving of a fruit or vegetable the poor thing is constipated for days. Her system is that sensitive, so it\'s a must for us to enforce.

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