When Should Your Kids Stop Seeing You Naked?

Posted on 05 06, 2007 under Master Debaters by wahoodad | Comments

showerIf before you had kids your morning routine involved strolling to the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel slung over your shoulder and a smile on your face, eventually you’ll have to keep Mr. Happy under wraps once your kids get older.  When you live under the same roof with people, it’s inevitable that there’s going to be some exposure.  Your daughter might catch a glimpse of your unit if you don’t shut the bathroom door when you take a leak, and your son might happen upon his mom’s boobs if the bedroom door is ajar when she changes; but there’s a big difference between inadvertent fleshy peeks and parading around the house in the raw like it’s the locker room at the gym.

Of course you want to teach your kids that the human body is a natural thing and you don’t want your kids to freak out over seeing someone naked, but you’ve also got to teach modesty and privacy so they don’t get sent home from school for taking their pants off during an educational video because “that’s how Daddy likes to watch television in our house.”  Just like in that Seinfeld episode, there’s a big difference between good naked and bad naked—but that line is subjective.  

There’s no denying that nudity is a touchy subject in our culture.  It can be the deciding factor between a PG-13 and an R rating from the MPAA, or cause for banning thongs on beaches.  While the powers that be might control what your kid sees in public, you’re in charge of what is exposed at home.   There’s no right answer, but it’s up to you to decide, noodads:

When should your kids stop seeing you naked?

This is the latest installment in our Master Debaters Question of the Week Series. There are some topics that seem to fall into the consensus category: drunk driving is bad, guns kill people, Transformers are better than GoBots. But that only covers less than 1% of the decisions you and your spouse make towards the upbringing of your kids. The majority of issues tend to fall more in the gray area.

Here at Noodad.com, we take pride in delivering important advice for dads. But we realize that some of our advice is subjective. The collected readership surely has things to add and unique perspectives to contribute.

So where do you weigh in?

 

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Viewing 17 Comments

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    Guns don\'t kill people. People kill people!

    :p
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    I don\'t think you should be ashamed of your body, nor teach your kid that they need to be ashamed of theirs. Walking around the house in your birthday suit is not hurting anyone.
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    Stop it tomorrow....

    I guess when they learn that your privates are well, private.
    If your kids feel uncomfortable seeing you naked by responding with an \"Eeeeewww.\" Then maybe you should put on the boxer shorts.
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    Does anyone other than your spouse want to see you naked. If you can honestly answer yes, then I say carry on. If your comfortable your kids will be too. Just draw the blinds... for my sake.
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    My son is five and I still walk around naked in front of him. He\'s natural and comfortable about it, hardly seems to notice. I still help him out in the shower, etc. I figure I\'ll see his cues when its time to stop. In Japan whole families bathe naked together. I think that each family is different, but in my house it\'s not an issue. My parents were always matter-of-fact about their own nudity when I was a child, and it\'s simply not a big deal to me.
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    We have a 4 yr old (autistic) girl, and a 2 year old boy. (+1 more on the way). Our philosophy is that nakedness is normal, natural and we just don\'t even make a deal about it- at all! I have never said, \"eww daddy\'s naked\", nor has my husband said the same about me.

    Our philosophy is that our children will eventually reach the development stage where it IS uncomfortable, at which time we will cover up.

    My mother pranced around naked until I was a teenager, and it never grossed me out. Of course, if it had been my father, I would definetely have been grossed out. So, I am thinking that probably by the time our son is 5, it will be time to cover up, but before then we just won\'t make a big deal of it.
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    In japan.. there are alot of people, and families bathe together... so nudity dosn\'t hurt anyone.
    public school does tho.. sorry everyone..
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    I feel I have to weigh in here. This is too important. I do not feel the human body in it\'s natural state is wrong, or bad, or anything of the sort. But-- the fact is, we live in a very complex, dangerous world. When a child is old enough to ask questions, or suspect that the reproductive organs are different then the rest of his/her body parts (meaning they are sexual in nature) then I do believe is time to clothe yourself. Especially if you are the opposite sex of your child. Mommies should teach girls, daddies boys, and single parents have a more precarious road. I would suggest singles to keep clothed, but talk openly about anatomy, and clearly define what the sexual organs are for, (with a PG rating of course) so the child doesn\'t grow up completely clueless. There is always the guidance of a pediatrician\'s knowledge as well.
    The reason I feel this way is simple: the rate of child molestation in this country is horrific! Before you blast away with comments like-- \"That\'s absurd! Nakedness doesn\'t promote sexual abuse!\" please consider, children are easily impressionable, and if they think it\'s normal to be around naked adults, then if a stranger (or family member which is often the dreadful reality) disrobe with molestation as their intent, the child will not hear an alarm bell telling them this is a dangerous situation. PLEASE tell your children, from earliest on, what their body parts are, and why NO ONE is supposed to touch them! Explain why their mother or father tend to their needs, (wiping, or bathing etc.,) and that they need to tell you immediately if anyone touches them, even if they were told it was a \"secret.\" It could be the most important thing you ever do as a parent! Any embarrassment, or awkwardness you experience, is pale in comparison to what you would feel if your child was a victim of sexual abuse.
    In a perfect world, we would all live freely, like the young blissfully care-free couple from the blue lagoon, but in this world, you are your child\'s only defense from the real monsters in life. I am not advocating some puritan idea of shame, I only suggest for your child\'s sake, that you establish to them VERY clearly, that there is a time, and a place, for nakedness in their childhood, and that the child\'s parents are the only people allowed to see their bodies. There is no shame in teaching your daughter how to shave her legs or use feminine products , or have a father teaching his son how pee in the toilet, or any other necessary, pure, and beautiful examples of parenting your child. It is my hope to raise a child that is NEVER ashamed, and loves their body, but also knows how to protect it.

    This is only my opinion. I am not telling anyone how to raise their child. I am only offering some perspective on my own experiences, and what I wish I had been given as a child. Thank you for your time, and your open heart. And may all your children grow up happy, healthy, and comfortable with their bodies.

    [I]null[/I]
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    Ehsona you make very some excellent points. Would you like to write for us? :)

    I think that your views on this matter reflect the conservative approach and one that I would tend to agree with. But let\'s say that there are two sides to the coin and that a more liberal approach could also work as long as the parents communicated the rules to their kids.

    The big assumption here is this:
    Kids are not stupid. They understand what you tell them. Your voice IS an alarm in their minds.

    If you are a \"naked family\", but you explain that we are not naked outside of our homes and that it is no appropriate to be naked with adults other than mommy and daddy, meaning you have defined the appropriateness of nakedness, then I think that a more liberal approach to nakedness could also be acceptable. You need to draw the line between innocence and danger. The most important weapon in the fight against perversion is talking with your children in a way that arms them in the event that they somehow fall into this kind of situation.

    Great comment. I hope to see you around more and please check out my article on telling kids where babies come from.

    http://www.noodad.com/cms/instructions/afterbir...


    foodad
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    I have to say, I am very flattered by your comments on what I posted, as well as your invitation to write for you. I am intrigued, and would like to know more about what that would entail.
    I had not considered that perspective (the more liberal one) you spoke of, but I do find that point valid, and I respect it.
    Sorry it took me so long to reply back, and thanks again. :) You can contact me at
    Ehsona@yahoo.com
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    What age should a daughter stop being nude in front of her father...outside of an emergency?
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    I lay claim to \"Emergency Nudity\" for my next band name.
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    My parents had two girls. My father wore boxer shorts and we would be in the room while they were dressing or walking around in their underwear. But full nudity is a different matter. We weren't prudes but there was simply no need for opposite sexes to be naked in any situation. That is NOT the culture we live in. So why start something you have to cut short and be confused about. Why is it even necessary for a parent and child to bathe together. I dont remember it in my childhood and we have a very healthy attitude towards the human body. It makes no sense to me why a mother should feel the need to bath with her children. What is the necessity of that. Just curious.
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    The "tag line" of this web site does say "ass wipes since 2006", so I guess I shouldn't complain about this article. I was warned.
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    I can see why this question is in the Master Debaters Question of the Week. You'd have to be some sort of Master Debater to take this subject seriously.
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    To my mind this question totally depends on the age and gender of your child. I think that parents should be attentive to the kids' signs. In this case they'll notice some hints that they're no longer OK seeing parents naked...
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    I don't think you should be ashamed of your body, nor teach your kid that they need to be ashamed of theirs. Walking around the house in your birthday suit is not hurting anyone.
 

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