10 Paternity Leave Questions You Need Answered

Taking paternity leave is a decision some noodads find
difficult. What isn't difficult is seeing the benefits taking a
paternity leave can have. But when demands of a job, a mortgage or
rent, and family life get involved, it could get your head spinning.
That is why, once again, noodad.com is here to help. Following are
answers to some popular questions about paternity leave:

QUESTION 1: What the heck is paternity leave anyways?

Paternity
leave is the time you take off of work after the birth or adoption of
your kid. The amount of time you can take off varies from none at all,
to a few days, to a few months. But although most companies offer this
time to employees, most do not offer this time paid. Thats the
technical definition of the term. The full story is that paternity
leave is a chance for noodads to bond with their new kid and help with
the transitioning process from family to family +1.

QUESTION 2: So I can definitely take unpaid time off right?

No.
Most likely (If you are in the U.S.) you are legally protected in
taking up to 12 weeks of unpaid paternity leave time made possible by
the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). This ensures that afterwards,
you will be allowed to go back to your job and get at least the same
salary, benefits, seniority, etc as what you had before you left. To be
eligible you need to work for a company that has 50 or more employees
and you are within 75 miles from your office and you have worked there
for 12 months or more and you worked 1,250 hours during that year. Or
your work for the government.

There are really only 2
exceptions: If you are da man at work (top 10% of salary at your
company and your company can prove that they will suffer if you leave)
and if you and your wife work at the same company.

I suggest talking with your HR department ASAP to make absolute sure what you are entitled to.

QUESTION 3: Will taking paternity leave hurt my reputation at work?

No
one can really answer that. It really depends on the situation. But a
good indicator is to ask questions of your co-workers (specifically
those who have taken paternity leave already) and feel out the
situation. Personally I feel, if taking paternity leave hurts your
reputation, you should be looking for a new job. Paternity leave is
only the beginning of a string of late arrivals and early departures
because of your kids. If co-workers or management can't handle a
planned leave, imagine the world of hurt you will feel when the
unexpected comes up.

QUESTION 4: When should I ask for time off?

I
believe that once you start telling people about the pregnancy
(typically in the 2nd trimester) you should start planning for your
time off. Discuss the timing with your boss and your HR representative.
If you have people that report to you, start to prepare them for
contingency plans.

QUESTION 5: During paternity leave, what the hell will I do all day?

This
also varies by situation. If this is your first kid, the first few days
will be filled with overwhelming elation and a whole load of "What the
hell did I just do?" You will be forced to adapt to another
roommate—one that probably doesn't talk and only cries and poops all
day. But the most important answer to this question is you will do
whatever the mother needs you to do. You will be the personal
assistant. You will need to help by keeping her hydrated, her wounds
properly dressed (the hoagie), and meals prepared, etc. You will need
to go out to do the shopping, the cleaning, and anything else that
comes your way.

If this is not your first time, you can use
this time to spend some more quality time with your other kids as well.
They will feel like an intruder has entered the household. It is
important to reinforce your love for them.

Finally, you will
also spend a good amount of time, welcoming family and friends into
your home or fielding phone calls. When it comes to the mom in these
situations, you will need to act as publicist: releasing pictures that
are mom-approved, scheduling visiting hours, and providing guests with
suitable accommodations.

QUESTION 6: Nice, another vacation! Right?

Keep
dreamin' buddy. Unless you like to push yourself to the brink of
destruction on vacation. This is the furthest thing from a vacation
that you will ever feel. But it is really important to do it anyways.
Your partner carried the load for 9 months, now it's time to pitch in.
Qui-Gon got sabered, so now it is up to you, young Obi-Wan to take on
Darth Maul yourself. You will not sleep well, eat well, or feel well.
But that's why the absolute joy of fatherhood kicks in at that moment.
Sort of a defense mechanism. So the "nice" part is appropriate in the
question. The "Vacation" is not.

QUESTION 7: If my employer allows it, should I start my paternity leave before the baby is born?

I
don't recommend it. I know some people that have started paternity
leave a few days before the due date. This theory is flawed for 2
reasons: most first babies are born late of the due date, and most
people due this to finish off the nursery or to buy more baby stuff.
You really should have all of that finished 6 weeks before the due
date. This includes the nursery set up, the car seat installed, and the
hospital bag packed. You WILL want to spend as much time as possible at
home after the kid is born. Don't waste your days before the kid even
comes.

QUESTION 8: Will my wife go into labor in the middle of a workday causing me to drop everything for a couple of weeks?

Again,
it depends on your situation. But most mothers start labor in the
middle of the night so you might not even make it to work. No matter
when it happens, however, you should have already planned for this
situation (See Question 4).

QUESTION 9: What if I am adopting?

You
still qualify for the same benefits that the FMLA provides. It is just
as important to provide a successful transition of your nookid to your
home whether you adopt or give birth. The bottom line, is your life
will change. You need time to figure out new routines, new smells, and
new sounds.

QUESTION 10: So should I do it or not?

If
your employer offers you a paid paternity leave, then "absolutely! Are
you kidding me? Why would you ask such an asinine question?". If your
employer does not offer a paid paternity leave, then "If you can afford
it, and your employer offers you time off unpaid, you still should do
it." This time is not only good for the mom and the house, it is a very
important time to bond with your kid at a most critical time in your
newborn's life. This is something you cannot do 6 months later.

Other Useful Information:

For more information on the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), click here.

To read a previous article on How to Get Back to Work, click here.

Good luck noodads.