Going to Childbirth Class Part 1

If you are like how I was, you think childbirth class is a whole lot of hugging pillows and breathing heavily. But if you ended up going, like I did, you knew it was way more than that. Oh, you will hug pillows. You will also learn 50 bajillion ways to rub your wife"s back and 50 bazillion ways your kid could look like and still be classified under the "Normal" category. (BTW: 1 Bajillion > 1 Bazillion)

The reason for my apprehension was all in how it was marketed to me. It came in the form of my wife saying, "We need to go to childbirth class. Would you rather do 6 2 hour sessions every thursday or 2 saturday sessions 5 hour each?" What I heard was, "Would you rather have a slow painful death or a moderately slow painful death?"

Well Noodads, I am here to tell you that it doesn"t matter how it sounds—you would be a fool not to go. No matter how good or bad the teacher is, it is a very valuable source of information. No matter how much you think you know, a childbirth class will teach you that you don"t know squat. Childbirth classes give you the practical knowledge of things like "How to time contractions" and "Why is my kid"s face all smashed in?" But it also delivers n things you wouldn"t think you needed.

OVERCOMING DENIAL
For me, it wasn"t until I actually saw Wade Boggs in a Padres uniform that it hit me he was n longer a Red Sox. Similarly, it took childbirth class to snap me out of this "I"ll deal with it when it comes" attitude that I had been harvesting for 6 months. There"s nothing like a healthy dose of prenatal reality. If you think you haven"t truly grasped yet, the incredibly life shattering event that will take place when your kid is born, take a childbirth class.

CONFIDENCE
For as nervous as you think you are feeling about this whole daddy thing there is always someone more of a wreck than you are. And no doubt, they will be in your class. During the class for my first kid, the teacher went around the room asking everyone what their biggest fears were. People were saying things like, "Having to get a C-section" or "Being away on a trip when the labor happens." But when it came time for this dude on the other side of the table from me, to answer, he replied with a timid, "Uh…everything!" He might as well have said, "I am a weakling. If we are on a desert island, kill me first and live of my body meat as nourishment." Instantaneously, you saw all the other fathers straightening up in their chairs feeling better about themselves. A simple Q&A session revealed the weakest link. And all of a sudden everyone else was going to be ok.

REPRESENT YO
Finally, you need to be there because your wife will probably go with or without you. And trust me, you don"t want to be the chump who didn"t go with your wife to childbirth class. We had a woman in our class who didn"t have a partner and I felt so bad for her. She had no one to practice breathing techniques with. No one to talk about questions and fears with. She was all alone and probably really scared at the thought of delivering by herself or worse, with someone who didn"t find the time to learn the process with her. There are things mothers can do on their own. This is not one of them.

If you were debating whether to go or not before reading this article, hopefully this changed your mind. Good luck Noodads.

P.S. When you go, don"t forget to bring plenty of water and snacks for your wife. I got called out one time because I wasn"t properly hydrating my wife and unborn kid. Not cool man.

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