My Son Has Some Serious Sac

This morning, my 1 week old son jumped on his skateboard and did a crazy trick off a quarterpipe into ongoing traffic. He has serious sac. Okay, the beginning part is a lie, but the ending isn't. I am proud to say that my kid has monstrous balls. I'm talking balls that Chuck Norris would be envious of.

Before you start wondering whether large balls run in the family, you should think about your own sons when they were newborns. Odds are, they had serious sac too.

Don't worry, it is perfectly normal and you don't have to worry about your kid growing up to be known as the boy who bludgeons his girlfriend when teabagging. There's a reason why our newborn boys have Maximum Sackage.

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According to KidsHealth.org : "In boys, the scrotum (the sack containing the testicles) often looks swollen. This is usually due to a hydrocele, a common collection of fluid in the scrotum of infant boys that usually disappears during the first 3 to 6 months. You should consult your doctor about swelling or bulging in your son's scrotum or groin area that persists beyond 3 to 6 months or that seems to come and go. That may indicate the presence of an inguinal hernia, which usually requires surgical treatment. The testicles of newborn boys may be difficult to feel in the swollen scrotum. Muscles attached to the testicles pull them up into the groin briskly when the genital area is touched or exposed to a cool environment."

So there you have it: 3 to 6 months of Testicular Fortitude. Then back to mediocrity like the rest of us.