The Predad Dictionary Part 2: Baby Gifts
Posted on 07 18, 2006 under Predad by Noodad | Comments
As a soon-to-be-dad you will be confronted with some terms that are confusing, strange, and downright-alien. Never fear! Like Frank and Buster of the Koala Brothers, "We"re here to help!" Study them pre-dads. You will be exposed to these terms, and knowledge of them will earn you some serious points with the wife.
I am proud to present the second installment of the Predad Dictionary. For this installment, we will concentrate on terms pertaining to items you may receive as gifts or you may purchase yourself.
BOPPY
Noodad Definition: A foam U-shaped pillow stuffed in a zippered fabric cover.
Why You Need To Know It: Because it is a really useful item and because you will balk at the price. Boppys can be used to help prop up your kid while breast feeding and also to keep a sitting kid stabilized. It seems silly but it really is useful and worth the price.
BABY BJORN
Noodad Definition: A baby harness that allows you to strap your kids onto your chest or back and free up your hands.
Why You Need To Know It: Because it gives you greater flexibility during times when a stroller is just impractical. The Baby Bjorn is great virtually everywhere you go outside your house. It is a pricier item and there are other options, but Baby Bjorn is the standard.
BOUNCY SEAT
Noodad Definition: A battery-powered vibrating chair with visual and audio stimulation.
Why You Need To Know It: Because it has a great success rate in soothing a restless or crying kid. And because it vibrates.
ONESIES
Noodad Definition: An article of clothing that your kid wears like a leotard with 3 snaps at the crotch.
Why You Need To Know It: Because brand name ones are so much better than generic and your baby will wear these every day, all day. (Much like my Sonic Youth T-shirt in high school) Special note: The onesie goes on over the diaper and under the pants…everytime.
BINKY
Noodad Definition: Slang term for Pacifier: the rubber faux nipple that your kid won"t get enough of. And let"s face it, it represents like a nipple. I can"t get enough of them either.
Why You Need To Know It: Because you will hear people refer to them as "Binkys" or "Binks" and you need to know they aren"t anymore special than a regular ol" pacifier.
BABY EINSTEIN
Noodad Definition: Disney produced series of DVDs that feature classical music, famous works of art, and a collection of toys that move in psychedelic ways.
Why You Need To Know It: Because your kid will probably love them and you will find them incredibly annoying.
BABIES R US GIFT CARDS
Noodad Definition: Gift Card that can be redeemed at the biggest national chain of baby stuff.
Why You Need To Know It: Because although you can redeem those gift cards at Toys R US as well, very few Toys R Us locations contain large baby selection. If you receive a gift card and you don"t have a location near you, you are better off redeeming it online.
Good luck noodads. You more experienced guys, please add to the list by posting comments below.
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