Top Tips for Announcing Your Pregnancy

Posted on 01 24, 2008 under Predad by Noodad | Comments

30007612No doubt, a plus symbol on that EPT stick can bring a rush of emotion that you have never felt before in your life. But one of the trickiest things about the earliest part of pregnancy is knowing who to tell and who to keep in the dark. And then when you decide it is ok to put out your press release, how exactly do you do it?

The short answer (the answer you will hear a lot from a noodad article) is: “It really depends.” Now that I was able to give you a clear, definitive answer, my work here is done. (Just kidding) The longer answer is that there are a number of factors that will contribute to who you tell, who you don’t, when to tell, when not to tell, and how
you tell it.

So let’s start with who to tell and who you don’t…

WHO TO TELL
Obviously, you will want to start with your close relatives. This of course, varies by family. In every case, my wife and I first told who we call the “Family 4″. The Family 4 consists of my parents, her parents, my sister and her husband, and her brother and his wife. We did not choose to go down the phone chain and pick off every long lost cousin on the list. It would be quite awkward to have a conversation like, “Hi Aunt Beru, I know I haven’t spoken to you in a decade or
thanked you for your wedding gift from 8 years ago, but we are going to have a baby.” But to clarify, if you and your Aunt Beru like to kick it every weekend at Tashi Station, then by all means, call her and tell her the news.

Friends work the same way. You probably have a set of friends that you tell everyone too. Just tell them when it feels right. The last thing you want to do is get yourself in a situation where you have a group of friends and only some of them know. It is unreasonable to expect a friend (unless they are like a brother to you) to keep track of who they can tell and who they can’t.

Telling people at work is a different story. This is a piece of great news that you have to share with the world. But the bottom line is some of your co-workers will just not care. Sometimes it is best to catch the Chatty Cathys or the Hubs of Gossip (every office has one…or two) and tell them. Eventually everyone will find out. That is totally acceptable. But if you are particularly close to someone at work, you should make a special effort to make sure they hear it from you before the chick at the coffee maker.

Now, one special note for telling people at work. When my wife was pregnant with my son, I knew that I would need to attend a bunch of doctor’s visits and would be late to work in clusters of days. I figured, in my boss’ mind, that signaled I was interviewing somewhere else. “That’s interesting. Noodad had 3 doctor’s appointments in 1 week and he doesn’t even look sick.” I decided to let my boss sleep better at night by giving her an early heads up about my situation. Something to consider.

An important thing to remember is this shouldn’t be a chore for you and your wife. If you are spending every evening debating on whether you should tell Person A or not, then you shouldn’t tell Person A. Be like Wendy’s: Do what tastes right.

WHEN TO TELL
The standard for when to tell anyone about a pregnancy is after the first trimester is over. This standard has been popularized because most miscarriages occur during the first trimester and many people feel it is bad luck or bad taste to tell people before the pregnancy is out of the woods.

I personally disagree with this tactic. The way my wife and I have felt, is that if we are going through it, then we want our families to go through it as well. Anyone who has gone through a pregnancy will tell you, the moment you get that positive test result, you have become emotionally attached to the idea of this kid. If, by any chance something goes wrong, the last thing you and your wife will want to do is cope with the loss alone. The comfort from a close group of friends and family is what we felt we needed. So in every case, we have told our Family 4 immediately and our close friends shortly thereafter.

Again, you need to do what feels right for you and your wife.

HOW TO TELL
The method in which you tell people can be as fun as the act of actually telling them. I have heard of many creative ways predads and premoms have used to tell their news.

When my wife was pregnant with our first kid, we took a picture of ourselves reading a pregnancy book. We sent it off in an email and then waited for the phone to start ringing. (It started to ring in less than an hour)

I have heard of people sending Grandparent shirts to announce the news, or even putting shirts on the kids saying, “I’m a big sister” or “I’m a big brother” on it.

Another time, we sent our Family 4 each fortune cookies with messages that read, “You will be a grandpa again.” We bought fortune cookies, fish out the existing fortunes and stuck in some new ones printed off a printer. A $10 investment and a memorable method of telling our great news.


Finally, another way to tell people would be to to use a website like
Noodad.com to announce it. That’s right. I am proud to announce that I, Noodad, father of two, am going to be Noodad, father of three in March of 2007. Expect to read a lot about what being a predad for a third time is like throughout the year. [Ed. Note: This article was originally published December 2006]

So you noodads out there, how did you tell your friends and family?

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Viewing 16 Comments

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    Congratulations. What a cool way to announce. I\'ll have to remember that. I\'ll also have to make sure I start getting my family to read my site.
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    That sure was sly way of letting us know!
    On the whole first trimester thing, we told before the first was up but did not buy anything until after (on her sister\'s advice from unfortunate experiences). It seemed to become really real when we were picking out colors, styles, cribs, etc.
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    Congrats man! Look foward to the articles.
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    Hi, I have been reading your blog and i think is fantastic. We told the family and close friends too much early and when she had a problem and we thought that we could lost the baby were regret a little bit. But now everything´s all right.

    I´d like to tell you that i have a blog in spain and that i´d like to add you to my blogroll.

    Thank you and i´ll be reading you from now on.
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    We told my immediate family and my wife's right away. We told our close friends early on, but waited till after the 1st Trimester for that. Told folks at work with my blog DCUrbandad.com. Just sent that out with an email telling everyone of a new site I was writing for. Got back a lot of crazy emails. Was fun. Telling.

    Had a friend who told her husband by putting the pee stick on a cookie cake from Mrs. Fields. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
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    It is kind of hard to tell if you are pregnant, most of the cases is they are afraid of it, it is just normal this way, but it is better to tell your relatives.
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    I wish to wish all pregnant women of good mood, easy pregnancy and natural sorts!
    Good luck also are happy! Give birth easily and independently! Let not doctors give birth for you, and you!
    Also adjust itself on chest feeding of the kid! Read the necessary information!
    Be, lovely pregnant mums and expecting posterities of the daddy, are healthy and wise!
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    These are really cool ways!! When my wife became pregnant, I sent coffee cup to my close relatives on which new born baby photo was printed, everybody liked this idea a lot!!
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    Whether you found out yesterday or a few months ago, here are a few tips about sharing your ... You'll also find some creative, fun ways to announce your pregnancy. ...
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    This article will help you go about announcing your pregnancy to friends and ... out from the top of a mountain, those first few early weeks of pregnancy can ...
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    Announcing Your Pregnancy During Thanksgiving or Other Family Gatherings ... Stay on top with our smart financial tips. Browse All About.com ...
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    my wife was pregnant with our first kid, we took a picture of ourselves reading a pregnancy book. We sent it off in an email and then waited for the phone to start ringing.
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    Don't announce your pregnancy until after the first trimester, when the risk of ... Spring Craft Activities for Kids · Top 10 Rainy Day Activities ...
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    this is very true that one should let there close ones to know about your pregnancy.After all they wait for such since the couple gets married.I and my wife has decided to plan for our first child after some time but will definately tell our relatives once its all set and will try to use this method also.
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    A great way to announce a special news.Will definately try this method this time
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    1. Be reassured that some women wait until a little further along, in case of an early miscarriage. If this is a concern for you consider waiting until after the first three months, when the rate of miscarriages drops.
    2. Inform others if this is your style. Some women call everyone they know the minute they find out they're pregnant. Some women feel that in an event of a pregnancy loss, they'll cope better with informed friends and family to support them.
    3. Tell your partner first, then decide who else to tell. Do you want your coworkers to know about your pregnancy? How about your friends from high school? Grandma and Grandpa? Be careful who you tell, and in what order.
    4. Remember this is your partner's child, too. With rising home pregnancy test usage, your partner may have been there with you, holding your hand and waiting for the results. If your husband, boyfriend, or partner doesn't know yet, consider more than just "Hey, I'm pregnant." This is an exciting and special moment, one the both of you will remember forever! If this is an unexpected—and possibly undesired—pregnancy, be as calm as possible and allow the other person time to digest the news. The first reaction is not always indicative of the true feelings.
    5. Choose a creative way to share your news. If you don't want to just come right out and tell people that you are pregnant, use a special way to tell those you love. You could create a beautiful memory.
    6. Make a romantic dinner for the two of you. While your partner is expecting a four-course meal, you'll serve baby-esque food: baby-backed ribs, baby carrots, and baby's apple juice served in little sippy cups. For dessert, serve baby teething cookies.
    7. Have a movie night and rent baby-related movies: Nine Months, Junior, Baby's Day Out, etc. Write your good news on a piece of paper and place it inside a DVD or VHS case. Choose the first movie—not the one with the note. When the movie ends, get up to go the bathroom and tell your partner to put in the movie you selected. Wait for your partner to read the note. Come out of the bathroom, smiling and saying, "It's true!"
    8. Wait for a holiday and literally "give" your partner the news. Buy a t-shirt with DADDY or #1 MOM written on it, a baby-related keychain, a baby book, as well as a few baby items, and put them in a gift bag. Cover with tissue paper and then have your partner open it.
    9. Run your partner a bath, adding lots of bubbles. Write a sweet letter announcing the news, wrap it in a plastic baggie, and pop it into a baby bottle. Hide the baby bottle under the bath bubbles. When your partner gets into the bath they'll feel something, find the bottle and read the note.
    10. Play Scrabble. Do your best to choose only words that are baby-related.
    11.Take a shower together. Write "Baby On Board" on your belly in washable marker and allow your partner to get in the shower first. Either climb in behind them or be there waiting when they get out.
    12.Order a cake from a bakery. Request that Congratulations on Your Pregnancy to be written on it. Then ask your partner to pick the cake up for you and bring it home because you're too busy to go yourself. Then, when they ask who it's for, tell them, "Us! We're going to be parents!"
    13. Send a card with the good news, chosen name, and a copy of the sonogram. This depends how far along you are, of course. Otherwise you could just take a picture of you and your partner and include that, with or without your proud belly showing.
    14. Have a backyard BBQ. While everyone is eating, stand up and make a toast. Say, "We just want to thank everyone for coming here today. It means a lot for us to have our friends here. By the way, we're having a baby. So, who wants dessert?" Everyone will burst out laughing, ask if you're serious, and then celebrate!
    15. Leave a baby name book out somewhere around the house.
    16. Gather everyone together to take a group photo. Take the first picture, asking them to "Say Cheese!" Then, for the second photo, say, "Everyone say, Lucy's pregnant!" Take a quick snapshot--you'll get a great, stunned look on everyone's faces.
    17. If you find out near your partner's birthday, go out to a nice restaurant and arrange to have some of those silvery mylar balloons delivered to the table that say "Congratulations on the New Baby!" or something similar. Your partner will expect that they say "Happy Birthday", but when they get a second look, boy, will they be surprised!


    Tips

    * The sooner you share your news, the sooner you can begin planning the baby shower, choosing names, and buying essential baby furniture and clothes. There is a lot to do in the nine months before your child is born.
    * Get creative and brainstorm some ideas of your own. Personalize the announcement in any way you choose. This is your child and you can have as much fun as you want!
    * If you and your partner are a nontraditional couple, be prepared for some people to have negative reactions. Some people are not as open minded as you would like them to be. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate to your heart's content!
    * Discuss the order you'll let friends and family know. Keep parents, siblings and grandparents at the top of the list. You don't want them finding out from someone else and baby news travels fast.

    Warnings

    * If you want to wait to share your news, keep in mind that vomiting, a growing belly, and multiple visits to a doctor may inadvertently spill the beans for you. If the pregnancy becomes too difficult to hide, you may want to announce your pregnancy now, when you can still surprise people. Otherwise you may lose that exciting element.
    * Be aware of your timing. Your good news may rub salt in someone else's wound. Did your sister-in-law miscarry last week? Be sensitive to her feelings as well. Imagine how you would feel.
    * Never announce your pregnancy while in an argument. This is tacky and ruins what should be a special occasion. Screaming, "Well I'm pregnant, so you'll never be out this late again! Kiss your friends goodbye!" is a horrible memory for the both of you. Having a child is an adult decision, so act like one.
    * Again, people's first reactions aren't always their true feelings. Don't be offended if people are surprised. Weren't you?
    * Know your partner. Some people would enjoy the methods described above, and some would prefer a more serious approach. Make sure that you make a night to remember for a good reason, and not a bad one.
    * Letting parents, siblings or grandparents find out through the grapevine is the source of many hurt feelings. Tell immediate family first. Parents and grandparents will easily feel left out and unimportant if they aren't in the first to know.
    * Coordinate so you and your partner tell your immediate families at the same time. If you can't get everyone together you should place some calls. Some families feel put off knowing the other in-laws found out first. You don't want your mother to jump the gun and call your mother-in-law before you do.
 

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