Top Tips for Announcing Your Pregnancy

Posted on 01 24, 2008 under Predad by Noodad | Comments

30007612No doubt, a plus symbol on that EPT stick can bring a rush of emotion that you have never felt before in your life. But one of the trickiest things about the earliest part of pregnancy is knowing who to tell and who to keep in the dark. And then when you decide it is ok to put out your press release, how exactly do you do it?

The short answer (the answer you will hear a lot from a noodad article) is: “It really depends.” Now that I was able to give you a clear, definitive answer, my work here is done. (Just kidding) The longer answer is that there are a number of factors that will contribute to who you tell, who you don’t, when to tell, when not to tell, and how
you tell it.

So let’s start with who to tell and who you don’t…

WHO TO TELL
Obviously, you will want to start with your close relatives. This of course, varies by family. In every case, my wife and I first told who we call the “Family 4″. The Family 4 consists of my parents, her parents, my sister and her husband, and her brother and his wife. We did not choose to go down the phone chain and pick off every long lost cousin on the list. It would be quite awkward to have a conversation like, “Hi Aunt Beru, I know I haven’t spoken to you in a decade or
thanked you for your wedding gift from 8 years ago, but we are going to have a baby.” But to clarify, if you and your Aunt Beru like to kick it every weekend at Tashi Station, then by all means, call her and tell her the news.

Friends work the same way. You probably have a set of friends that you tell everyone too. Just tell them when it feels right. The last thing you want to do is get yourself in a situation where you have a group of friends and only some of them know. It is unreasonable to expect a friend (unless they are like a brother to you) to keep track of who they can tell and who they can’t.

Telling people at work is a different story. This is a piece of great news that you have to share with the world. But the bottom line is some of your co-workers will just not care. Sometimes it is best to catch the Chatty Cathys or the Hubs of Gossip (every office has one…or two) and tell them. Eventually everyone will find out. That is totally acceptable. But if you are particularly close to someone at work, you should make a special effort to make sure they hear it from you before the chick at the coffee maker.

Now, one special note for telling people at work. When my wife was pregnant with my son, I knew that I would need to attend a bunch of doctor’s visits and would be late to work in clusters of days. I figured, in my boss’ mind, that signaled I was interviewing somewhere else. “That’s interesting. Noodad had 3 doctor’s appointments in 1 week and he doesn’t even look sick.” I decided to let my boss sleep better at night by giving her an early heads up about my situation. Something to consider.

An important thing to remember is this shouldn’t be a chore for you and your wife. If you are spending every evening debating on whether you should tell Person A or not, then you shouldn’t tell Person A. Be like Wendy’s: Do what tastes right.

WHEN TO TELL
The standard for when to tell anyone about a pregnancy is after the first trimester is over. This standard has been popularized because most miscarriages occur during the first trimester and many people feel it is bad luck or bad taste to tell people before the pregnancy is out of the woods.

I personally disagree with this tactic. The way my wife and I have felt, is that if we are going through it, then we want our families to go through it as well. Anyone who has gone through a pregnancy will tell you, the moment you get that positive test result, you have become emotionally attached to the idea of this kid. If, by any chance something goes wrong, the last thing you and your wife will want to do is cope with the loss alone. The comfort from a close group of friends and family is what we felt we needed. So in every case, we have told our Family 4 immediately and our close friends shortly thereafter.

Again, you need to do what feels right for you and your wife.

HOW TO TELL
The method in which you tell people can be as fun as the act of actually telling them. I have heard of many creative ways predads and premoms have used to tell their news.

When my wife was pregnant with our first kid, we took a picture of ourselves reading a pregnancy book. We sent it off in an email and then waited for the phone to start ringing. (It started to ring in less than an hour)

I have heard of people sending Grandparent shirts to announce the news, or even putting shirts on the kids saying, “I’m a big sister” or “I’m a big brother” on it.

Another time, we sent our Family 4 each fortune cookies with messages that read, “You will be a grandpa again.” We bought fortune cookies, fish out the existing fortunes and stuck in some new ones printed off a printer. A $10 investment and a memorable method of telling our great news.


Finally, another way to tell people would be to to use a website like
Noodad.com to announce it. That’s right. I am proud to announce that I, Noodad, father of two, am going to be Noodad, father of three in March of 2007. Expect to read a lot about what being a predad for a third time is like throughout the year. [Ed. Note: This article was originally published December 2006]

So you noodads out there, how did you tell your friends and family?

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