When the Contractions Come But the Kid Hasn’t…Yet

The dreaded waiting game. For the last 38 or so weeks, you have been planning for this day. Your bags are packed and there is plastic on the passenger side seat. The phone chain is set and the nursery is finished. Now, all you do is wait. Waiting. Checking. Waiting. Hoping this day is the day. Waiting.

All this waiting can drive you mad. But just when you thinking you are fully insane, nature has a way of ratcheting up a few more ticks. Because if you think you are mad now, wait until the contractions start happening and the kid still doesn't come. That will drive you to the looney bin.

You may luck out and have a textbook, long labor, everything happening in order, type delivery. The water breaks, contractions start (spread out at first) , slowly increasing in frequency, then you go tot he hospital and out pops the baby. Or you may have something like what my wife and I are going through right now.

{mosnooad}See with our first two kids it was a whirlwind setup, drive to the hospital, and deliver the baby type process. Both kids were early (36 weeks, 37 1/2 weeks) and we really didn't have time to think. So when we went through this third pregnancy, we pencilled in the 36th week as the one to start looking out for.

Sure enough, at exactly 35 weeks, my wife started feeling contractions. First of the Braxton Hicks variety (painless, irregular, uterine contractions), then the contractions became a tad more regular and a tad more discomforting for her (about 30 minutes apart). Baby time right?

We sure thought so. When the contractions were cramp-like (my wife's words) and were every 25 minutes or so, we called the doctor. The doctor told us that when they were 10 minutes apart for a full hour, it was time to come to the hospital. That never happened. And when the following day came and my wife had her weekly checkup, the doctor found she had not started dilating yet. We were sent home.

Here comes the maddening part. When your wife has contractions a couple of times a day for a week and still no baby, that will drive you to drink. "Should I go to work?" "Should I cancel plans with friends?" It is tough to stay on top of your game.

It sort of feels like you went to a nice restaurant and you ordered a 40 oz. steak. You are hungry. And everyone around you is interested in what that huge steak will look like. The conversation for 20 minutes is how amazing that slab of meat is going to be. But when even after you eat your salad and your fifth roll, the steak isn't sitting in front of you, the anticipation turns to frustration and all of a sudden you are more concerned with getting that steak, than enjoying it.

Now, my kid won't be 40 oz and I will not eat him. But the anticipation of the kid coming can consume more energy than the joy of holding him in your arms. Do not fall into this trap! That kid will come when he/she is damn ready. Be thankful you aren't the one that has the contractions all day with nothing happening. I know I am incredibly grateful to my wife, who has endured 3 full pregnancies. It is she whom I am channelling all my concentration and effort towards.

We are now approaching the 36th week: a full 7 days of contractions. I'll keep you posted…