Not Getting Any: When is Enough Enough?

Welcome to another installment of our weekly feature: Ask the Chick. The chick is Latia Harris, a noodad reader and mom with a lot of answers for you. Each week, Latia will answer the questions you don’t have the balls to ask your own wives.

Dear Chick,
My wife gave birth to our son 10 months ago. We have not had sex since she was 5 months pregnant. That was over a year ago. She says she isn’t ready yet but when does it cross the line from “giving her enough time” to downright neglect of my needs?

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When I Was In Mamas Belly: Talking About Birth Parents

Internationally adopted children, often as early as 2 and a
half years old, realize that there is something different about them.  Particularly if you or your wife have been
reading them stories like Over the Moon
or I Love You Like Crazy Cakes, they
may start talking about and querying about their birth mother and father. 

Many children try to piece together their history with
statements based on stories you have told them like: “Before I was born you and
mommy lived in Kentucky.” and “When I was a baby, I used to like to throw my
peas on the floor.” At around 3-3.5 they can even draw parallels with their
friends and siblings.  “When I was a baby
I liked blueberries. When Graham (little brother) was a baby, he liked
blueberries too.”

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When Your Kid Pimp Slaps You

There
will come a time when your child, feeling like an animal cornered in a
cage, will hit you. This can be a scary action on their part and a
potentially humiliating one for you. It normally occurs because your
kid doesn't know how to express themselves in anger and their animal
instincts react in the form of an open hand. When it happens, you'll
know it is purely instinctual because any physical assault on purpose
would be a closed fist. It can also escalate into a full blown fit of
rage—one in which you need to settle them down and explain
ramifications for their actions.

So what do you do when this happens to you? If you said, "Hit them
back." you should leave this site and never come back. We don't want
your scum around Noodad.com. If you said, "I don't know what I should
do." then get comfortable, and read the following:
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5 Ways to Improve a Trip to the Zoo

Going
to zoos can be a great day trip for you and your family. Most kids
really enjoy looking at all the animals and you get a chance to spend
the day with the family. I am still currently on vacation in the San
Francisco Bay Area and in the last couple of weeks, I have gone with my
family to 3 zoos, and an aquarium.

In order to maximize your zoo experience, I have compiled a short list
of considerations. Knowing these could turn a so-so experience at the
zoo into a memorable experience.
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Tips for Reading to Your Kids

It"s been shown that reading to your kids as early as newborn age can help with speech development, concentration, and early reading skills. But reading to a kid that early can also create an exercise in patience. Whether you have a fidgety kid or one that just ain"t interested, you need some ways to get through it. Because they may not know it is important, but you do. Here are a few things to remember when your offspring start going aggro on you and a few ways to keep their attention. Read the rest of this entry »

Your Kid Talks Funny

When your kids start to talk it is really amazing. All of a sudden, what was once a series of well-inflected grunts morph into the beginnings of words and you can"t get enough. But after a few years of talking under their belt, your kid might still be having trouble pronouncing certain letters. My 3 1/2 year old daughter cannot pronounced "L" sounds. They always come out as hard "Y"s. For instance, Lollipop sounds like Yah-yee-pop.  

It is natural to worry that your kid has speech problems. Of course you worry about learning disabilities and speech impediments. I used to tease the living hell out of those kids when I was in school. I"m not proud of it at all. In fact, I am appalled with how cruel kids can be to others. But the simple fact is kids tease and it breaks my heart to imagine MY kids being the one teased. To top that off, it has tremendous ramification to the learning process and how your kid can succeed in our society.

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