What Not to Tell Your Co-Workers About Your Pregnant Wife

People get curious about pregnancy. Even with complete strangers, people feel entitled to ask questions. “When are you due?” “Is this your first?” “Do you know what you are having?” For us guys, we miss out on these moments. No one cares that we didn’t sleep well, or that we have horrible gas, or that we huff and puff when we walk up the stairs. They don’t care because we aren’t carrying the kid.

But pregnancy is as big of a deal for you as it is for her. Sometimes, when we are at work, we feel compelled to tell stories and share items of information about the pregnancy that we probably should not share. There are some things that should be between you and her.

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Top Tips for Announcing Your Pregnancy

No doubt, a plus symbol on that EPT stick can bring a rush of emotion that you have never felt before in your life. But one of the trickiest things about the earliest part of pregnancy is knowing who to tell and who to keep in the dark. And then when you decide it is ok to put out your press release, how exactly do you do it?

The short answer (the answer you will hear a lot from a noodad article) is: “It really depends.” Now that I was able to give you a clear, definitive answer, my work here is done. (Just kidding) The longer answer is that there are a number of factors that will contribute to who you tell, who you don’t, when to tell, when not to tell, and how
you tell it.
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Dad Finds Game for Son, then Sells it as Punishment

This guy is the real Guitar Hero. This is a story about a school teacher that found a copy of the hard-to-find game, Guitar Hero 3 for his son. This awesome dad found it, bought it, and was psyched to give it to his son for Christmas.

But when he came home one day and found his beloved offspring smoking pot with his friends in the backyard, he did something amazing: he sold that game on eBay instead of giving it to his son.

“So I was so relieved in that I had finally got the Holy Grail of Christmas presents pretty much just in the nick of time. I couldn’t wait to spread the jubilance to my son,” the father wrote on eBay. “Then, yesterday, I came home from work early and what do I find? My innocent little boy, smoking pot in the back yard with two of his delinquent friends.” Read the rest of this entry »

The Laws of a Toddler

For those of you who are about to be a dad of a toddler, here’s a great list of  the “Laws of a Toddler”. From experience, this is absolutely true. Get ready…

1.  If I like it, it’s mine.
2.  If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3.  If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4.  If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5.  If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6.  If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7.  If it looks just like mine, it’s mine.
8.  If I think it’s mine, it’s mine.

Is Forcing Vegetarianism on your Kid Fair to Them?

Whether for moral or religious reasons, vegetarianism is here to stay. And even for the once die hard carnivores, watching Super Size Me or reading Fast Food Nation might just move you over to the veggie side. Finally, with the popularity rising with healthier food stores like Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, it is easier and easier to be a healthy vegetarian.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am a die hard meat eater to the bone (pun intended). My theory is that if we weren't supposed to eat meat, God wouldn't have given man the intelligence to make a spear and the ability to throw it. But regardless of your own personal decisions, vegetarianism can be a way of life, not just a preference.

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Preparing Your Toddler (and Yourself) for Halloween

Newborns don't really care about Halloween. They are mostly dressed up so you can get some pictures and show off how cute they are to your neighbors. But once your kid reaches 3 and 4 years old, Halloween will be as exciting to them as the Super Bowl is to you. Here are some tips to help you prepare your toddler (and yourself) for the spookiest day of the year.
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How Not To Series: Drying a Baby

The fact is that even cute and cuddly babies get dirty. Whether you bathe them in the tub or in the sink, you need to be very careful when drying them off. In todays first installment of the Noodad “How Not To” series, we take a look at the proper way to get that little monster dried off.

I will start by explaining it here and then if you like, you can me demonstrate on the next page how to and how not to dry a baby. In coming weeks, we will return to Noodad Labs and enlist the help of stunt babies like Baby Alex to show you a good way to accomplish daily kid care tasks. Remember, the “How Not To”s are strictly that. Do not try these at home. Our stunt babies are here to demonstrate the perils of fumbling through fatherhood with no guide so that you do not have to!

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Surviving the Emergency Room

This past weekend, my wife made an unexpected visit to the
emergency room with my daughter. Friday morning, my daughter woke up
with over 25 mosquito bites all over her body including 3 underneath
her left eye. Apparently mosquitos got into her room in the night
(probably due to faulty weatherproofing of the air conditioning unit I
installed) and massacred my little girl.

After 24 hours, the
bites under her eye started to swell to Italian Stallion proportions.
The eye became tender, extremely painful, and bigger by the hour. It
was time to call the Urgent Care number (reserved for questions during
weekend hours). That was followed by a quick appointment, then a
redirect to the emergency room at the hospital. The result was a
diagnosis of Cellulitis, an infection in the deep tissues of the skin.
This was caused by my daughter scratching her mosquito bite and getting
it infected. A 7 day dose of antibiotics should clear it up.
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