Planet Heroes Rule. Gowns and Crowns Don’t.

Having 3 kids and a former toy designer for a wife means a ton of toys in our house. And nothing beats the onslaught of toys that enter our household on Christmas day.

But when you bring in a bunch of toys there are sure to be huge hits and enormous failures. This year my wife and I….errr Santa….got my 2 year old son a pretty sweet toy. We also got a somewhat disappointing toy for my 5 year old daughter. Here’s my story. Read the rest of this entry »

Noodad Public Service Announcement: Don’t Run With Forks

It's amazing what people are willing to share with you via email. These pictures came in my inbox just this morning. Another warning to remind people, Scissors are bad. Forks are too.  (Warning: second picture after the jump is not for the weak stomached)

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Does the SI Swimsuit Issue Objectify Women?

Welcome to another installment of our weekly feature: Ask the Chick.
The chick is Latia Harris, a noodad reader and mom
with a lot of answers for you. Each week, Latia will answer the
questions you don’t have the balls to ask your own wives.

Question 6: Chick, How do you
feel about the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue ? I get Sports
Illustrated and my wife says I shouldn’t leave it outfor the kid to
see. Mind you, my kid is 10 months old and he can’t evenpick himself up to see the coffee table! I say that it promotes athleticism and beauty. My wife says it objectifies women and has no place in a sports magazine. What are your thoughts?

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The Underlying Messages in Christmas Specials

Growing up, I vividly recall waiting for the annual airing of the classic Christmas specials.  The networks would start advertising right after Thanksgiving, and I’d count the days until I’d be reunited with the Grinch, Rudolph, and Frosty.  Even though I knew the outcome of each Christmas special, I still had to see them.  Now, thanks to the proliferation of cable stations and licensing agreements, you can’t channel surf in December without running into these specials.  In viewing some of these with an older and wiser eye, I detected some extremely negative themes behind the saccharine sweet songs and smiling claymation visages on the screen. 
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Top 10 Disney World Pitfalls

Disney World is the ultimate vacation for your family.  I saw
people of every age in the park the last time I was there. Every person
seemed to be really enjoying themselves. Sure you see kids having fits,
but that's expected when there is so much excitement. I would venture
that about 80% of the under 10 crowded did not get a good night's sleep
the night before, so right around 10 AM you can see a lot of mini
meltdowns. Just another source of entertainment. 

Here are some things to watch out for when you are at the park.

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The Change of Pace Dad

Cry cry. Bawl bawl. Sometimes that"s the only thing you hear from your kids. It"s one thing to hear a whimper or the occasional scream, but when your kid goes full-on inconsolable, you can sometimes be left with a sense of hopelessness.

The older your kid gets, the more you get to know the screams and cries as if your kid is speaking to you in some sort of high pitch whale call. For our 15 month old son, a, "whaaaaaaaaaaaaa" usually means, he"s thirsty, and a "whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" means he made a deposit into his diaper account.
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To the Mothers, From the Idiots They Married

It"s Mother"s Day and noodad.com is proud to salute the mothers of our children. But instead of just regurgitating common sentiments and canned Hallmark moments, the writing staff has decided to concentrate on what we call, "The Moment." This term marks the single moment in time when we realized how great our wives would be at motherhood. It is a moment of realization and revelation, the very instant when we realized just how lucky we were and how screwed we would be raising our kids without them. We hope you enjoy reading these messages as much as we enjoyed sharing them. And we encourage you other dads out there to add a comment and proclaim your admiration to your wives in this public forum. Read the rest of this entry »

The Noodad Breastfeeding Dictionary

If your wife is breastfeeding or plans to breastfeed,  you will be barraged with new terminology. Not only should you know what they mean, you should be respectful of the implications they carry with them. For all you veteran Noodads, please add to this list so the newbies can be prepared.

Engorge (en"gorj)
verb
1 cause to swell with blood, water, milk, or another fluid

Noodad Explanation: Your wife"s boobs will fill up with milk after the baby is born. This will cause them to be huge (I"m talking Tera Patrick huge) and incredibly sensitive. Do not dare make contact with them or even look at them. Imagine getting kicked in the nuts and then jumping on a trampoline. That"s the pain your wife will have.

Used in context: "Dammit honey! You left that newspaper hanging off the table and I walked past and it grazed my engorged breast. Now I will kill you." 

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Noodad on Boston Herald Site

Rochelle Stewart of the Boston Herald did a micro-feature on us on the online living blog.

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