Posted on 08 08, 2006 under Hot Celebrity Moms by
Noodad |
It is not uncommon that after you experience a pregnancy on the front lines (i.e. your significant other going through it) that you will have a newfound appreciation for the physical beauty that a pregnant woman possesses.
You may have fashioned yourself as a “leg guy” or a “boob guy” up to now, but now you find yourself unable to take your eyes off the”pregnant” part of your wife’s body. The enlarged breasts probably don’t hurt either.
It is only natural to feel that way. After all, your pregnant wife is going through maximum hormonal overdrive. She waddles with a glow that you probably haven’t seen since you proposed to her. Of course that is hot. And she is carrying your baby for god’s sake. You know that rules!
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Posted on 08 06, 2006 under The Manual by
Noodad |
So
you go through the entire process of adopting or birthing your first
kid. Now you're done right? Well, inevitably, you and your wife will
soon be barraged with the questions of when you are going to have more
kids. I have always felt that is an incredibly rude question. It's
really no one's business except you and your wife whether you decide to
have more kids.
There are many factors to consider when planning
for more kids. You have the social factor: how does having an only
child affect the way they are raised, and the way they are treated by
you and your wife? You also have the financial factor: can you possibly
afford another kid and all that kid will require? Remember, the Vagina is not a clown car (See image on right)
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Posted on 08 03, 2006 under The Manual by
wahoodad |
All’s
fair in love and war, and introducing a child into your home is a
full-scale assault on your ability to get a good night’s sleep. You
regularly will be jerked from the deepest period of repose in your
circadian rhythm by the cries or your kid. Loving parent that you are,
you’ll take it all in stride—but sometimes, man, you’ve just got to
catch those z’s. That means the adult on the other side of the Sealy
Posturepedic must tend to your kid’s needs during peak sleeping hours.
With a steely resolve and emotionless use of the following Parental
Sleep Strategies (PSS), you can get the sleep you need.
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Posted on 08 02, 2006 under The Manual by
Noodad |
It
takes dedication and concentration to not be "that" guy.You know "that"
guy: the one you see in public exhibiting parental stupidity and you
just shake your head in dropjaw amazement. The type of guy that gives
the rest of us dads a bad name.
Parenting is a full time job fellas. It is easy to slack off. I'm just
as guilty of it. In order to save you from being "that" guy, I present
you a list of common "that guy" offenses. Sometimes it is easy to
forget you are a responsible dad and you need a big, swift, kick in the
arse to stay on track. Consider this a literary manifestation of a size
12 steel toe doc marten.
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Posted on 07 18, 2006 under Predad by
Noodad |
As a soon-to-be-dad you will be confronted with some terms that are confusing, strange, and downright-alien. Never fear! Like Frank and Buster of the Koala Brothers, "We"re here to help!" Study them pre-dads. You will be exposed to these terms, and knowledge of them will earn you some serious points with the wife.
I am proud to present the second installment of the Predad Dictionary. For this installment, we will concentrate on terms pertaining to items you may receive as gifts or you may purchase yourself.
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Posted on 06 02, 2006 under The Manual by
Noodad |
Our winner is a competitive cyclist, with his first "nookid" on the way…. Congratulations to
TIM
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Posted on 05 11, 2006 under Newsflashes by
foodad |
Finally! Zachodniopomorskie checked in today. Welcome to noodad.com, Poland! Forgive us for being totally inept at pronouncing Szczecin.
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Posted on 04 27, 2006 under Her by
Noodad |
If your wife is breastfeeding or plans to breastfeed, you will be barraged with new terminology. Not only should you know what they mean, you should be respectful of the implications they carry with them. For all you veteran Noodads, please add to this list so the newbies can be prepared.
Engorge (en"gorj)
verb
1 cause to swell with blood, water, milk, or another fluid
Noodad Explanation: Your wife"s boobs will fill up with milk after the baby is born. This will cause them to be huge (I"m talking Tera Patrick huge) and incredibly sensitive. Do not dare make contact with them or even look at them. Imagine getting kicked in the nuts and then jumping on a trampoline. That"s the pain your wife will have.
Used in context: "Dammit honey! You left that newspaper hanging off the table and I walked past and it grazed my engorged breast. Now I will kill you."
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Posted on 04 20, 2006 under Doodads by
Noodad |
I don"t like pets but I have an entire zoo in my house. I have 2 dogs, 1 cat, 3 bears, a giraffe, a monkey, countless monsters who giggle, and a clown. And this is just in one room! I"m talking about the pandemic called, Stuffed Animalitis, and it has overtaken my house. In all, we have over 60 stuffed toys in our house. This is spread over 2 kids, a wife, and me.
The Gunds and Ty"s of the world should be ashamed of themselves making these things so damn cute. Because if that kitten didn"t have those plastic crystal eyes staring right back at me, it would have been in the trash can a long time ago. And if that stuffed monkey did not have soft furry hands that velcro to each other, he would be fending for himself in a land fill.
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Posted on 04 18, 2006 under Newsflashes by
foodad |
We were featured in Metro commuter newspaper as the website of the week. Robert Summa"s team wrote:"An online haven for new dads, created by two fathers fed up with a lack of proper info on how to be a new poppa…" Welcome Metro Readers!
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