The Great AFP Debate: How Should You Weigh In?
Posted on 11 11, 2008 under Predad by Noodad | Comments
Unfortunately, pregnancy is harder than just dealing with your wife's nausea, insecurities, and fatigue. Sometimes along the way, you and your wife will have to deal with some seriously important questions.
One of these important decisions comes around the 16th week of pregnancy. It is the decision on whether or not to take the AFP test. AFP stands for Alphafetoprotein, a protein made by your unborn kid and secreted through their liver and then dumped into your wife's blood. The test is a simple blood test that checks for abnormally high or low levels of that protein.
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Ah onesies…the undergarment of choice for the under 3 crowd. With it's soft cotton and 3 button snaps. It is brilliantly designed. When used for the power of good, it can offer an extra layer of warmth, and a support hammock for a diaper full of pee. But for those who aren't trained in the ways of proper onesie application, it can be a one way ticket to Pissed-Off-ville or even worse, a near death suffocation.
If your wife is pregnant and it still hasn't hit you, the ultrasound marks the instance in which the world falls out from under your feet. What once was just the idea of a living breathing kid in an instant becomes a living breathing thing that you see with your own eyes.
Racial equality is a hot topic in my household. Maybe it’s because my neighbor’s dog is racist. He never barks at anyone else except me. I, of course, am the only person that is not white in my entire neighborhood. If I were to decipher his angry bark I would no doubt hear, “Go back to where you come from, you foreigner.”
You may have seen the babies when you toured the hospital. There they are. With Kool Moe Dee sunglasses on, encased in a clear case like the ear worm in Wrath of Khan. No, they aren't getting fake baked for Spring Break, they are being treated for Jaundice.
Newborns don’t really care about Halloween. They are mostly dressed up so you can get some pictures and show off how cute they are to your neighbors. But once your kid reaches 3 and 4 years old, Halloween will be as exciting to them as the Super Bowl is to you. Here are some tips to help you prepare your toddler (and yourself) for the spookiest day of the year.
Kids are great excuses to never do anything you used to like to do before you had them. You probably have not been to Las Vegas on a weekend bender with your buddies since they invaded your personal habitat. And when was the last time you saw a movie in the theater, went out raging until 3:00AM, streaked through Ann Taylor or went to a restaurant? Boohoodads, listen up. Yes. You can still go out to eat.
Kids these days have better social lives than their parents. And parents have an appetite for al types of events and classes. With demand, comes supply. There are more options for kids these days than ever before. But when does a full schedule become an overcommitted one? My feeling is if you have a tough time answering this question, then your kid is overcommitted. And worse, you are probably the problem. So what causes this overbooking? 
There will come a time when your child, feeling like an animal cornered in a cage, will hit you. This can be a scary action on their part and a potentially humiliating one for you. It normally occurs because your kid doesn’t know how to express themselves in anger and their animal instincts react in the form of an open hand. When it happens, you’ll know it is purely instinctual because any physical assault on purpose would be a closed fist. It can also escalate into a full blown fit of rage—one in which you need to settle them down and explain ramifications for their actions.
