Posted on 04 01, 2007 under Press by
Noodad |
In celebration of April Fool's Day I thought it would be fitting to celebrate April Foo's Day, in honor ofmy partner in crime, Foodad. Here are links to some of the best articles Foodad has written over the last year. Enjoy!
The Princess Guide (The Big 6)
Cinderella –
This may be the most important to know. Little girl’s father (LOADED
WITH MONEY) dies after which her step mother shows her true colors. Her
Fairy godmother hooks her up with some cool threads and a phat ride to
go to the ball. She dances the whole night with the prince, but ends up
having to leave because the magic wears off at midnight. She
leaves a glass slipper behind which the King’s minions eventually use
to find her.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 10 04, 2006 under Brokedad by
foodad |
Disney World is the ultimate vacation for your family. I saw
people of every age in the park the last time I was there. Every person
seemed to be really enjoying themselves. Sure you see kids having fits,
but that's expected when there is so much excitement. I would venture
that about 80% of the under 10 crowded did not get a good night's sleep
the night before, so right around 10 AM you can see a lot of mini
meltdowns. Just another source of entertainment.
Here are some things to watch out for when you are at the park.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 09 21, 2006 under The Manual by
Noodad |
There
will come a time when your child, feeling like an animal cornered in a
cage, will hit you. This can be a scary action on their part and a
potentially humiliating one for you. It normally occurs because your
kid doesn't know how to express themselves in anger and their animal
instincts react in the form of an open hand. When it happens, you'll
know it is purely instinctual because any physical assault on purpose
would be a closed fist. It can also escalate into a full blown fit of
rage—one in which you need to settle them down and explain
ramifications for their actions.
So what do you do when this happens to you? If you said, "Hit them
back." you should leave this site and never come back. We don't want
your scum around Noodad.com. If you said, "I don't know what I should
do." then get comfortable, and read the following:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 08 22, 2006 under Brokedad by
foodad |
If you just read yesterday’s installment , you probably think
that your were reading an excerpt from Beaver Cleaver’s family vacation. Not so
my little friend. Our THE SHORE vacation
was not all pixie sticks and gumdrops, just like foodad senior, I had my share
of stupid things and general mishaps happen during the trip. Here’s a list of stuff I did wrong:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 07 30, 2006 under Doodads by
Noodad |
It's one of the parental question of all questions. The decision that could mean hundreds of cries, peace and quiet, or it could be anywhere in between. I'm talking about the decision to use a pacifier.
Pacifiers (or as some people call them, Binkys) work by simulating the shape of a nipple and thus satisfying the soothing sucking reflex that every baby has. So it simulates a boob. That rocks right? Not so fast Mr. Boobington: there are some problems that can occur when your kids get hooked on the pacifier. Yet there are many short term benefits to popping these suckers in their cry-holes. Below are some pros and cons: Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 07 09, 2006 under Predad by
Noodad |
As a soon-to-be-dad you will be confronted with some terms that are confusing, strange, and downright-alien. Never fear! Like Frank and Buster of the Koala Brothers, "We"re here to help!" Study them pre-dads. You will be exposed to these terms, and knowledge of them will earn you some serious points with the wife. I am proud to present the first installment of the Predad Dictionary. For this installment, we will concentrate on terms pertaining to the vaginal area. Some of these terms are gruesome but better you hear it from me than discovering it for yourself. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted on 06 05, 2006 under Doodads by
foodad |
"I pick things up I am a collector"
Gravel is not the most glamorous driveway medium. As a kid, one of my friends had a huge gravel driveway loop. We would do time trials on our bikes, that was until I wiped my Huffy Desperado out on one of the vicious, rocky turns. Wearing shorts was really what turned it from an unfortunate mishap into an accident. Gravel driveways do have their advantages though. We would carve out roads and neighborhoods in them for our Matchbox Cars. Matchbox Cars are the first thing I can remember collecting. I had a little case with small plastic car shaped parking spaces. I would keep my cars nice and shiny and rarely ever made trades.
I eventually put my Matchbox aside, probably when Masters of the Universe came out. GI Joe and Transformers followed. I never really had any of the cool vehicles or play sets. My younger brother seemed to be better at acquiring them. This baffles scholars to this very day. He had Castle Greyskull, the "Joe Base", Optimus Prime and The SR71 Blackbird. Maybe it was partially because he actually played with his toys. I did, but I think part of the fun was actually going to the store, hunting them down and getting them.
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